Tossing Salt Survivor Series Recap – November 24, 2014

Tossing Salt – Worldwide News
Survivor Series Recap
November 24, 2014
Doug Maynard

I should have known it was going to be one of those nights. I had a good night relaxing with the family and my better (most of the time) half. We watched most of the Survivor Series on the WWE Network (free for the month of November and after that, only $9.99 per month). I had the chance to see the WWE debut of the man known as Sting (and no, he didn’t have The Police with him). And then I went to bed, sleeping well and the dreams started. First it was strange dreams about being backstage at a WWE event with a few of my friends and associates, Ethan Storm, Michael Youngblood and the tag team of Scott Powers & Chris Steele aka “The Main Attraction”. We’re all backstage together at a WWE event and visiting. They are all long time professional wrestlers and are as talented and good (and better than most) as anyone currently in WWE these days. Youngblood even had a WWE developmental deal at one point and wrestled Kurt Angle on an episode of Smackdown in the “Hometown Hero” challenge and also in Kurt’s first “ladder match”. But long story short (too late), we’re there at the WWE show together. They need someone to be planted in the crowd and attacked and beaten up by a new wrestler that’s debuting. I can’t remember who the wrestler was in the dream, but he was big and crazy and reminded me of old school Bruiser Brody, but under a mask instead. Instead of choosing one of the legitimate wrestlers in our group, we’re approached by Jamie Noble and he chooses me to be the “victim”. I’ve met Noble before in real life so I’m just figuring it’s a rib of some sort. But it’s not and later, during the show, I’m attacked by said wrestler, pulled out of the audience and up the ramp and slammed down hard on my knee. I don’t feel a thing, but it keeps ringing in my head to “sell the knee” so I’m laid out on the ramp, holding my knee and screaming like a woman giving birth to a full-sized gorilla. And then I woke up to my phone making noises. I’ve got a text message from an old friend. I go from selling the knee to jerking await at the sound of my phone. It’s quite a crazy way to wake up.

But then it gets better. I’m awake and confused and staring at my phone and it starts. An anxiety attack from hell and it’s a doozy. I’m having trouble breathing, my head is spinning and for a moment, I’m forgetting where I’m at, in my bed and it’s just crazy and I’m lost as hell. I managed to get myself together and just lay there, concentrating on calming down and getting my heart to slow down. And then I looked at the clock. It’s nearly 3:30am. Guess who’s up for the night?

So since I’m up and not planning on going back to bed anytime soon, I decided to come in here to the computer for a little while. My options are to look around on Facebook and see who’s awake and what kind of drama they have going on, call or text my best friend and annoy him for a bit, watch a movie or go back to the Network and do a running blog of Survivor Series. Well, as it turns out, Facebook is quiet tonight, my BFF isn’t awake right now, and I don’t have any movies here that I feel like watching again. So Survivor Series recap it is. Don’t you feel special? Let’s do this…

Survivor Series 2014: Best For Business: Night Of The Crow

A quick look at the pre-show show and it’s the all-star panel of Renee, Booker T, Alex Riley and the always awesome man who’s behind the one in 21 – 1, the legendary Paul Heyman. Booker can say so much and yet say absolutely nothing at all, can’t he? And Heyman just gets the message out there better than anyone in the WWE today. I remember when Riley was tag team partners with the Miz. What a future this guy seemed to have… and no one expected it to be doing commentary and being an analyst. And Renee? She’s my favorite Canadian these days right after Christian, Edge and the Hart Family. Don’t blame Canada – blame youself. I wish Christian was on the panel but I guess he’s off doing “Haven” or something of that nature. Maybe he’ll peep back up soon with a new role as a manager / mentor? (hint hint) If he can’t wrestle regularly due to the multiple concussion stuff, why not have him guide, lead, speak for, and reek of awesomeness for someone else and give them that 5-second rub? Sounds like a plan to me.

In the pre-match match (match before the pre-match), we had Fandango dance his way into our hearts with a new outfit and new music and Rosa by his side. He defeated Justin Gabriel in a far too short match that was okay, but kind of the same-old, same-old. Good to see Justin Gabriel back in action. Now if they can just get him back on RAW or Smackdown on a regular basis, that would really be nice. Why not team him up with Curtis Axel and make a new tag team to add to the division and challenge the new champions, The Miz Twins? Are you listening HHH? Anyway, Fandango over Gabriel. I like Fandango and his character, but he needs something. Maybe a challenge by the Disco Inferno and Alex Wright? Hmmmmm.

Miz and Mizdow do the pre-match pep speech thing with the “Shades of Michael Jackson” man-in-the-mirror routine. Tag team titles means success in Hollywood. Yeah, just ask former noted tag team champions Tito Santana, Jim Neidhart and Marty Jannetty how that’s going for them. This stunt-double / partner routine has some legs on it and it’s kind of fun, but I’m just waiting for WWE to jump the shark. You know it’s going to happen and when it does, I hope R-Truth and Little Jimmy are able to jump back into the scene as Miz’s partner(s) in crime. I miss that team. Now they were fun.

I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for everyone. Bad News Barrett is here and no, he’s not wrestling. Barrett speaks about the main event and how The Authority are petty and vindictive and John Cena may be in for some bad times if The Authority wins. And then Barrett has some bad news for The Authority. If the don’t win and end up out of power, the WWE will be okay and thrive under the Bad News Barrett era. I’ve missed this guy.

A highlight clip of AJ and the Bellas. AJ is here and she’s through with games. She’s serious about her title. That’s good to know. And now, back to the panel and they’re talking about history and surprises. I wonder of who it is that they speak? What will happen tonight? Here comes Cesaro to the ring for a promo. He’s Swiss and while they generally don’t take sides, he’s supporting The Authority. Cesaro starts to say “Long Live The Authority” in five different languages, but he’s cut off by Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger. “WE THE PEOPLE!”. Some back and forth chit chat and we’ve got a match. It’s classic as always and Swagger gets the win. These guys work so well together and maybe it’s time to have Cesaro rejoin the “Real American” grouping. It’s not like he’s doing anything else right now. And now, it’s time to make the donuts and head to the big event. Hey, Vince McMahon is here. It’s showtime folks!

And here we go with some talking to start things off as Triple H, Stephanie and Vince come down to the ring. I don’t mind the long promos on RAW or Smackdown (yes, I actually do when they drone on and on and on), but not on a pay-per-view (even if it’s free). Vince… blah blah blah! HHH… blah blah blah! Stephanie… blah blah blah! If Authority loses, they keep the day jobs but no authority on the shows. Steph likes a challenge. HHH is the game. And so on and so forth. Ten minutes of talk and it all sounds like the teacher from the Peanuts cartoons to me. Let’s save the promos for the build to the PPV and leave the special events and PPV’s for action instead.

It’s tag team titles on the line as Goldust & Stardust defend against the Usos, Los Matadores w/El Torito and the team of Miz and Mizdow. A good, fast paced match that’s pretty much by the numbers as we get organized OINGO BOINGO action from bell to bell. I like all (most) of these teams, but I just can’t get into the match all that much. Mizdow tags himself in and gets the win for his team. We have new champs and Miz is a happy face (and so is his shadow).

A live Steve Austin podcast on the WWE Network is coming up on December 1rst, immediately following RAW. Austin’s podcast is pretty damn good and with Vince as the guest, it should be must-see (or is it must-hear) TV. I would also love to hear Austin interview Jamie Dundee, Missy Hyatt and Ivory at some point down the road as well. Ivory because she’s a great talker who worked GLOW before coming to the WWE and would be a great interview. Missy and Dundee because it would be bowling shoe ugly and make for great entertainment. Austin would probably end up having to open up a can of whoop-ass on both of these degenerates, but it would definitely be fun to listen to.

Adam Rose and The Bunny are backstage and trying to work out their problems by playing with their WWE toys. Yeah, that always works out so well for the rest of us so why the hell not? Here’s Heath Slater and Titus O’Neill. Heath and Titus make fun of Rose and the Bunny and we’re going to have a match. This is going to suck so badly, but at least Heath is on a pay-per-view and getting a match. Whatever works, right? Maybe Clem Layfield will be the next GM of RAW and Smackdown? That would be cool!

It’s time for some traditional Survivor Series Divalicious fun as Alicia Fox, Natalya, Naomi, and Emma take on Paige, Cameron, Summer Rae, and Layla. These girls are trying and some of them are actually good (Natayla, Emma, Paige), but this match really is blowing chunks. Where are Ivory, Molly, Lita, Trish and Jacqueline when you need them. As a matter of fact, a “current Divas” versus “Diva Legends” match for next year’s Survivor Series would be really, really nice. Book it Vince. As for this year, the “good girls” led by Natayla and Alicia Fox beat the “bad girls” pretty convincingly. Tyson Kidd is at ringside and acting like he’s the winner instead of his wife and her partners. But then again, he gets to go home with Natayla so maybe he really is? Hmmmmm…

It’s back to the panel and I’m wishing that instead of WWE “Insiders”, the panel was instead maybe Jim Cornette, Ole Anderson, Roddy Piper and Meng. Booker sure loves to talk though. Can you dig that…. SUCKA!

And now, it’s time for the crazy versus crazy match as Bray Wyatt takes on Dean Ambrose. It’s kick ass and crazy and smash mouth. I’m watching this on mute and trying to imagine Gordon Solie calling the action on a TBS Saturday night. These guys are so good and could do so much more if given the opportunity. It’s on like Ozzy meets One Direction until Wyatt gets the mic and tells Bray with a “Shades of Stan” monologue that they could be together and rule the world. Ambrose has a chair and Bray presents himself. The ref says “don’t do it”, but Ambrose nails Wyatt with the chair and it’s DQ time. Wyatt wins by disqualification, but it’s not over yet. Ambrose with tables, ladders and chairs (oh my) and he puts Wyatt through a table, buries him in chairs and stands over him on a ladder as it’s pose time. Fun match and great ending as Wyatt sacrificed himself to Ambrose. This continues next month at TLC and I, for one, can’t wait.

Triple H and Steph have “Team Authority” backstage and we get a McMahon / Helmsley era style pep-talk. HHH inspires the troops and they all chant “Fight! Fight! Fight!”

Back to the ring and it’s The Bunny and Adam Rose talking on Slater / Gator in a short, but fun little match (and no, I’m not talking about Hornswoggle… lol). The Bunny scores the pin after a missle-dropkick on Slater. The ringside mob known as the Rose Buds catch the Bunny as he does the plunge and they carry him backstage. Adam Rose is pouty and not happy. He’s such a lemon. I’ll bet he wishes he had a big rabbit’s foot on his keychain right now. Good for what it was and I’m just happy to see Slater back on TV in a ppv match. I already said that though, didn’t I? Put Slater and Gabriel back togehter as a team. They were tag team champs once and could be again. Just saying.

Roman Reigns is here via satellite and it’s almost as if he’s in a back room or something. He’s coming back and doesn’t care who is in power. We go now to a meeting of the minds as Team Cena is together backstage. Erick Rowan is playing with a Rubiks Cube and Cena makes promises that he’ll do his best to make sure that no one loses their jobs or gets fired. Ryback is feeling hungry. Don’t they feed these guys with a buffet dinner or something? I wonder if they had turkey backstage? I like turkey!

It’s back to the ring now and time for WWE Divas Champion AJ Lee to defend the title against the challenge of Nikki Bella and her sister-on-a-leash, Brie. Brie kisses AJ as the bell rings and it’s a great distraction as Nikki attacks with a forearm smash and the rack attack. Short and sweet as Nikki gets the pin and is the new WWE Divas Champion. Brie smiles and claps as her sister claims the gold. Hmmm. And how many more days are left in this indentured servitude? I feel for AJ, but I think this Bella-drama is about to get interesting…. and AJ will be there to pick up the pieces of whoever is left.

And now, cue the music and sound the gongs. It’s time for the main event as we have Survivor Series elimination style with Team Cena (John Cena, Erick Rowan, The Big Show, Ryback and Dolph) take on Team Authority (Seth Rollins, Kane, Mark Henry, Rusev & Luke Harper) w/ Triple H, Stephanie, Lana, The Stooges and Ann B. Davis as Alice in their corner. And it’s on like strippers on a pole making it rain. Mark Henry talks crap to the Big Show and just like that scene in the movie “Fridays”, he gets knocked the f*ck out!”. Damn! Some good action by Harper and the others and then out of nowhere, Ryback eats the big foot from Rusev. He’s out of there too. So much for that big push, right? Lots more action and craziness and it moves to the outside as Rusev introduces Dolph to the world-famous Spanish Announce table. Rusev tries for a splash on the table, but Dolph moves. Rusev eats the table and is counted out and he’s gone. It’s 4 to 3 now in favor of Team Cena.

IT’S CLOBBERING TIME!! Harper takes out Rowan with a huge clothesline from parts unknown. It’s now tied 3 – 3. Look out for the surprising heel turn by Big Show as he gives John Cena a big KO punch. Cena is down and out. He’s eliminated. Big Show shakes the hand of HHH and leaves, thus allowing himself to be counted out. It looks bad as it’s now 3 -1 in favor of Team Authority. Dolph Ziggler is the only member of Team Cena left against Seth, Kane and Harper. Things are looking bleak! What is Dolph going to do?

Dolph is going to take a beating and then come back and hit a superkick, followed by the zig-zag on Kane. Kane is eliminated. Triple H and Steph are in shock. Here comes Luke Harper and he’s out for blood. One quick roll-up and he’s out of there too. It now one to one as Dolph and Seth Rollins are the only two men left. Rollins goes nuts and stomps away at Dolph before tossing him to the floor and then from barrier to ring post to barrier again. Rollins is ready to put Dolph away and hits the running buckle bomb and covers. Dolph kicks out at the 2 3/4 count. Everyone is shocked and Dolph is coming back. He hits the zig-zag on Seth and HHH orders Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury, aka “The Stooges” to get in there and attack. Dolph fights off the stooges as HHH pulls the referee out and nails him. Another referee is down and takes control as Seth misses the curb stomp and Dolph scores with the zig-zag once more. HHH attacks the referee to stop the count. HHH then goes after Ziggler and levels him with the pedigree. Dolph is out of it and HHH drags Seth over and places him on top of Dolph. HHH calls for another ref to come in and make the count. Here comes Scott Armstrong to the ring and he’s ready to make that count. But the dreaded “Armstrong Curse” takes hold and we see a flash of black and white on the Titantron screen. He’s here! It’s STING!! Sting comes down to the ring and sends Armstrong flying. It’s HHH and STING facing off in the ring. Staredown and the crowd thinks this is awesome. I do too! HHH goes after Sting, but the tide quickly turns and Sting lays out HHH with the Scorpion Death Drop. Sting then lays Dolph Ziggler on top of Seth Rollins as yet another new referee comes to the ring. The ref makes the three count and it’s over. Winners are Team Cena and the sole survivor is Dolph Ziggler.

Cena comes out and hugs Dolph. It’s over and thanks to man they call Sting, the Authority is no longer in power. Cena and Dolph leave as HHH and Stephanie stand in the ring and realize that the end is here. The fans sing and Stephanie looks ready to cry and screams that “it’s not over!”. And there you go.

A good show with some rough moments, but for the most part, I’m not complaining. I liked it, especially the end, and if anyone is still not sure about going over to The Network and giving it a look, then erase those doubts. Just do it!

And now, with that, I am out of here. I’m Doug and that was my recap / review of Survivor Series 2014. Thanks for reading. Have a Happy Thanksgiving and I’ll catch you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!

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