WWE Extreme Rules Thoughts & Predictions

Tomorrow night is WWE Extreme Rules, live on pay-per-view and on the WWE Network. I almost forgot about the show. Almost, but not quite. So here are my thoughts and predictions for each match scheduled. Let’s do this.

WWE Extreme Rules Predictions

WWE Tag Team Championship Match
Tyson Kidd & Cesaro (c) w/ Natayla versus The New Day (Big E & Kofi Kingston) w/ Xavier Woods

This will probably be the match to kick off the show and should be pretty decent. I like how the New Day have taken what was (and is) a rather stupid gimmick and turned it into a positive. The fans are crapping (rightfully so) all over the gimmick so play on that and turn heels. Works for me. And it makes Cesaro and Kidd, who you find yourself wanting to cheer despite their “heel antics”, the defacto baby-faces. Should be a decent match, but it’s not time to take the belts off of Cesaro and Kidd yet. They’re really just beginning to find their groove and we still have the other teams like The Colons (I hate the Matador gimmick), the Prime Time Players and J&J Security waiting in the wings. Look for Cesaro & Kidd to retain the titles via pinfall.

Winners & STILL WWE Tag Team Champions: Tyson Kidd & Cesaro

Steel Cage Match – WWE World Championship (Kane is the “Gate Keeper” – Orton is banned from using the RKO)
Seth Rollins w/ J&J Security versus Randy Orton

Just like Cesaro and Kidd, Seth Rollins is really beginning to come into his own as the WWE Champion. They’re in the cage and I have no doubt that Orton will dominate and decimate Rollins for most of the match. I expect to see Noble and Mercury to get involved quite a bit and end up getting choke-slammed to hell by a Big Red Monster, playing the role of gate-keeper. More and more discension and conflict between Kane and Rollins, but in the end, Kane will do what’s “best for business” (albeit reluctantly) and save Rollins from being pinned and losing the title.

Winner and STILL WWE World Champion: Seth Rollins

Russian Chain Match – United States Championship
John Cena (c) versus Rusev w/ Lana

I think that the WWE missed out on an opportunity with this “Chain Match” gimmick. Why not have Ivan Koloff, former WWWF World Champion and WWE Hall of Famer Nikolai Volkoff help “train” Rusev on the finer points of using the Russian Chain? They could have filmed vignettes for the past few weeks and use those legends to help add to the seriousness and danger of the match, as well as promote the WWE Network with their legendary presence. Oh well, more money thrown away and left on the table.

As for this match, it should be brutal and stiff and I really don’t know who should get the winning nod. If it was a normal show and we still had Daniel Bryan doing the open challenge for the IC title, then I’d say shift the belt (U.S. title) back to Rusev. But Cena has been doing a great job as the U.S. Champion and has been working hard to help restore the title back to it’s former place of prestige and I’ve actually gotten to where I like those open challenges and don’t want to see Cena lose the title. Damn, did I say that? I don’t think Bryan will remain the IC Champ and I want at least one of these belts to stay with the “fighting champion baby-face”. Rusev deserves to beat Cena and win the United States Championship. But the title is in better hands (for now) with Cena. A hard call, but I’ll go with Super Cena winning by trickery and retaining the title.

Winner and STILL United States Champion: John Cena

Intercontinental Championship Match (pending)
Daniel Bryan (c) versus Bad News Barrett

I don’t think this match will actually take place. Bryan isn’t cleared to wrestle (so far as we know) and thus, will be forced to forfeit the title.

Winner by Forfeit and NEW WWE Intercontinental Champion: Bad News Barrett

Kiss Me Arse Match
Sheamus versus Dolph Ziggler

I don’t even want to talk about the stupidity of this match. This isn’t the attitude era anymore and a “kiss my ass” match really has no place in the WWE PG market. It’s demeaning and humiliating to both men. Maybe we’ll see the return of “Dusty’s Ass” from the last days of WCW? Dolph gets screwed over by WWE management at almost every turn and yet still manages to get over with the fans and be one of the hot tickets for the company. So if at first they don’t succeed, keep trying. Sheamus wins and Dolph kisses the ass. And Sheamus still looks stupid.

Winner: Sheamus

WWE Divas Championship Match
Nikki Bella (c) w/ Brie Bella versus Naomi

At the moment, the Bellas have a firm grip on that WWE Divas title and I can’t see anyone on the current main roster taking that title away from them anytime soon. Maybe when they meet a favorite daughter of a former 16-time World Champion, but not until then. This match should be okay, but no title switches here.

Winner and STILL WWE Divas Champion: Nikki Bella

Last Man Standing Match
Roman Reigns versus The Big Show

Superman punch and the spear. Roman needs the win and nobody gives a damn about the Big Show at this point.

Winner: Roman Reigns

Chicago Street Fight
Dean Ambrose versus Luke Harper

This could easily be the show-stealing, most fun match of the night. Two mid-card guys who could easily be on top with nothing to lose. Both men have been lost in the shuffle and buried so many times, what’s one more loss, right? Or one big win on a pay-per-view show? Look for this to be stiff and smash-mouth from start to finish. And while I think that Ambrose can handle a loss slightly more than Harper, Ambrose is the fan favorite here and I think that they’ll be wanting to cater to the fans and give them something to cheer about. Both men deserve a big night and a big push, but for Sunday night at Extreme Rules, I think the night belongs to Ambrose.

Winner: Dean Ambrose

And there you go. Am I right? Am I wrong? Am I doing the hokey-pokey and shaking it all about? We’ll find out tomorrow night at WWE Extreme Rules.

And with that, I’m out of here. I have to go to work and sell liquor to the masses. ABC is the place to be. Woo-hoo!

Ubuntu!

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