Thirty Days Of Dougie! (Day 20) – Resumes and Survey Says…

Bette Midler’s version of “Beast Of Burden” is my favorite.

If you play the song, “Another One Bites The Dust” by Queen backwards, it says, “It’s fun to smoke marijuana.” We did this back in high school when everyone was freaking out about “hidden messages” and “backwards lyrics”. I always thought it was pretty cool, but if it was subliminially supposed to make me smoke grass, it didn’t work. The smell of pot makes my stomach churn. Too bad, Freddie. Mission failed.

In roughly about twenty minutes or so, I’ll have to go to work. I love my job, but there are some days, like today, I’d rather not have to deal with it. I’ll be fine once I get there and the day should flow by rather smoothly and quickly, but the few minutes before I head out, I get all aprehensive and stressed. I wonder why that is? It’s not just this job, but almost every job I’ve ever had with the exception of Dairy Mart and the Sweepstakes place. But at the Sweepstakes place, which I still maintain were illegally shut down by a power hungry District Attorney who’s main objective was to score political points and in the process, put over a hundred people out of work and close over twenty-one revenue generating businesses. But I won’t talk about Kristy Newton here. I just have no use for her as our District Attorney. And let’s don’t even begin to speculate about her job as the D.A. Hey Kristy, prosecuted any murderers lately?

Bah, I’m already off topic (as if I ever had a subject to begin with) and am almost rambling. Let’s just go ahead and reach into the Magic Box to see what the topics of discussion are for Day 20 of the infamous blig series, “Thirty Days of Dougie!”. We have “Resume” and “Survey Says”. Yes, I’m only doing two topics today because when I get “Survey Says”, it generally tends to take up a lot of time and space and I ain’t got time for that. Well, obviously I do actually since I didn’t toss it back into the box and pick again. I’ll do the survey thing when I get home for lunch later this afternoon. As for the resume thing, let’s do the headline for this piece and then we’ll get busy. I’ve still got about fifteen minutes before I have to leave.

Thirty Days Of Dougie! (Day 20) – Resumes & Survey Says…
March 11, 2017

And what do we start off with? My resume? It’s kind of boring actually. I started off working my first job at Sinclair Building Center and then moved from there to cook fish and wash dishes at Jimmy’s Seafood House. And then it was on to Convenient Stores when I went to work at Convenient Food Mart. From there, I’ve worked at Nic’s Pic Kwik (twice), Kangaroo, Murphy USA and for close to eleven years, Dairy Mart. And now I work at the liquor store. Wow, that is lame. I work retail and customer service and take people’s money. Exciting life, right?

So let’s step it up a bit and throw in my writing credentials. So far, in my fifty years on earth, I’ve written two screenplays. I’ve worked for and contributed to several different pro wrestling websites such as WrestlingInformer.net, LordsofPain.net, PWInsider.com, Wrestle-Zone.co.UK, TheWrestlingHeadquarters.com, and PWBTS.com. I’ve written over sixty stories for FanFiction.net. My profile name there is TSFiction19. Go check it out. I’ve written over six hundred blogs at MySpace, which were sadly deleted when MySpace started to “improve” things and changed their whole system. I’ve posted over six hundred blogs at my first blogsite, “TSFiction.blogspot.com”, and I’ve posted at least 500 (or more) here at this site, “TossingSalt.wordpress.com”. I’ve reviewed movies, music, wrestling, American Idol and even done a few interviews, like that awesome classic interview in 2006 with Soce the Elemental Wizard, something I need to follow up on. So yeah, I like to write and I’ve written a lot. And none of it matters except the next article or blog or story, etc. And there you go.

And now, let’s do this survey thing. It’s a random and I’m going to try to be entertaining AND truthful. Are you ready? Let’s do this…

Survey Says…

What’s your favorite musical?
Rent! No, wait! It’s Jesus Christ Superstar! No, that’s not it. It’s Hair! No, I mean “Hairspray!”. Maybe it’s “South Park – Bigger, Longer, Uncut!”. Nah, I’ll just stick with Rent! My bad!

How do you get to sleep?
I close my eyes and wait for the Sandman to make an appearance. Then he raps me upside the head with his kendo stick and I go unconcious. That’s called sleep.

What happened at the last party you went to?
We ate, we drank, we played games and we had fun. And then my imaginary friends got into a fight and someone called the law. The popo shot my invisible friend dead and I just can’t see why… or him for that matter.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette?
Well, what else would you do with it? Stick it up your bum hole?

What’s your hair like at this present moment?
It’s on my head and kind of fuzzy… I think it’s time to get a trim. Or a new car. I’ll go for the trim. I can’t afford a new car, damn it!

Are you more comfortable sitting or lying down?
Depends on where I’m at, what I’m doing, what kind of furniture that I’m on and who I’m with at the time.

What’s the worst film you’ve ever seen?
Probably that porno that myself and Mr. Haney made a couple of years ago. I’m fat, he’s drunk and neither one of us really gave a hoot about anything at the moment. It’s been deleted, thank goodness. It even freaked me out and I was in it. Aside from that, “Annie”. I hate that kid.

Are you an untidy person?
I do tend to be a bit sloppy, but I prefer to just blame it on the kids. Wait, I don’t have any kids. Must have been the earthquake then. Oh well, if God intended me to pick things up, there would be dollar bills paper clipped to everything on the floor. There isn’t so I’ll just leave that for someone else.

Have you ever been a fan of N*Sync?
They’re no NKOTB or even Backstreet Boys, but I always love me some studly little supergroups so yeah…

Do you watch a lot of television?
Very little. I watch wrestling and HGTV, with a touch of news on the side. What more does a man need?

Do you think you’re fat sometimes?
I’m not fat – I’m big boned. I used to be very fat (318lbs), but now I’m down to 230lbs and still losing. I may have a belly, but I’m a sexy beast and I know it! Now, what was the question again?

Do you like to flex your muscles?
Only the ones in my mind… 🙂

Do you think you’ll ever get plastic surgery?
Maybe a boob job if I ever totally lose my mind and become a transexual freak, but since I look terrible in drag, that will never happen. So my answer is… a possible maybe.

Have you ever completely misunderstood what somebody was saying?
Can you repeat the question? I don’t understand what you’re saying…

Favorite kind of cake:
I like chocolate and lemon and carrot and wedding and birthday and ice cream and any / all cakes. And my favorite… pecan pie.

Was it a boy or a girl to text you last?
A boy, but he’ll dispute that answer and say, “All man!”, cause he’s got an ego like that… lol

Name something you are doing tomorrow?
Working all day, muttering under my breath at some of the idiots I have to deal with, cleaning out the litterbox, singing a song or two from one of my favorite musicals (see the first question) and taking at least two showers. I like to stay clean and smell good.

Do you sleep on your stomach?
Sometimes. I flip flop and toss all around in my sleep.

Where are you going to be at 4 PM tomorrow?
Selling liquor to the masses here in Scotland County and doing my best to get the entire county liquored up.

Last time you saw fireworks, with whom & where?
Well, I saw a couple arguing and fussing up at the store a few weeks ago. They didn’t come to blows, but it was pretty heated. Does that count? Aside from that, I seem to remember myself and Mr, Haney lighting up a few roman candles in our yard a couple of years ago. And a sparkler too. And a hand gernade, stuffed up his sorry ass. No, that was just a fantasy I had after the sorry piece of crap showed his true colors and hurt me pretty bad (not physically, but emotionally). I really do hate that bastard sometimes.

Are you missing someone?
Yes, I am, but he’s nothing but trouble. Cute as hell, great personality, sexy and I’ll always love him, but he’s trouble with a capital “T” so…

Do you like horror or comedy?
Looking at the men I tend to get involved with, either answer seems right. But I’ll go with comedy. I like to laugh.

Who did you last share a taxi with?
Some dude in Wilmington who creeped me out. He kept talking shit and trying to hit on me and if he hadn’t been the driver, I’d probably have told him to get out of my cab.

Dogs or cats?
Cats. Dogs are okay if you’re into absolutely loyalty and forever friends. I prefer cats, who are more real. They’re tempermental, moody, and it’s all about them, just like most people. And they might like you… or might not. I like that. They remind me of… me.

What were you doing at 12 this afternoon?
I was getting ready for work, playing on the CPU, looking at Facebook and probably bitching at Goldy (my cat) to get out from in front of my computer screen.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
I doubt it, but it would be nice. I need a good snuggle buddy / confident / Netflix and WWE Network and Chill partner. Any volunteers?

What’s your favorite season? Why?
Fall – I like the cooler air, the dark nights, and no damn mosquitos.

When’s the last time you did something you knew was wrong?
It’s been quite a while actually… at least a couple of hours. I’m a total angel and don’t do wrong things (and if I do, then I do them right!)

Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up?
Nope – nobody loves me. 😦

Who was the last person you hugged?
My BFF / brother / heterosexual lifemate Kenneth, saying goodbye earlier this evening..

Do you think you would be a good parent?
I would make an awesome parent. The kids might not agree with that, but I think I’d be amazing.

When was the last time you cried?
A little while ago, watching the movie, “Eat With Me!”. I get emotional sometimes during movies.

Who was driving the last time you were in a car?
Me, coming home from work.

Does any part of your body hurt right now?
Always. My feet and legs are throbbing and I have a slight headache. But all of this is pretty normal actually and I’m used to it.

Do you like your bed?
I love my bed. It’s one of my favorite places in my home, great to chill out in whether I be alone or having company. A bed is your friend.

Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
So they said, but I think they’re lying.

When did you last talk to your brother or sister?
My sister and I spoke earlier tonight. And my BFF / soul bro spoke earlier tonight as well.

Do you ever want to know who you are going to marry?
Well, I would hope that I would know them. I’d hate to be marrying a complete stranger. That would be crazy.

How much cash do you have on you?
I think like $6 and some change..

Are you tanned?
Nope, I’m a pasty white boy that even Casper the Friendly Ghost would call “Cracker!”

Did you get any compliments today?
Actually, yes I did… thank you.

Have you ever gone to court?
Yeppers. I hate a damn court room. And by the way, the Federal Judge up in Greensboro, he was a total asshole!

Do you get jealous easily?
I would say no. Others might not agree.

Would you ever want to swim with the sharks?
Why would I want to do that? They got teeth and beady little eyes and bad attitudes. If I want that, I’ll just go to the kiddie pool.

What are you doing Saturday?
Working, plotting world conquest, writing a musical about serial killers and scratching my cat’s little knobby head.

What is in your back pocket?
I don’t have one in these sweat pants that I’m wearing.

What were you doing at 3 AM this morning?
Watching a movie on Netflix and going through all of the bills / mail stacked on my desk.

What do you usually do first in the morning?
Get up and pee.

Are you any good at math?
I’m pretty good at most basic math. .

Any plans for Friday night?
That was last night and I worked. I need a vacation.. and a raise.

Do you have a little crush on someone?
I do believe that is a true statement… yes.

Why did you kiss the person you last kissed?
Because I wanted to… and he’s sexy as heck…

And that’s it for today. That was a lot of survey questions. Now my lunch time is nearly over and I didn’t even get to take my power nap. These next six hours, when I go back to work, are going to be rough. Thank you for reading and I guess that’s all folks. I’ll see you tomorrow with Day 21.

Ubuntu!

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