Homo-Redneck Rant – September 18, 2017
People just trip me out sometimes. Earlier today, I shared on my Facebook page a post that was one of that of a Confederate Flag with the meme, “Why is it OK to display a gay flag and have gay pride but not OK to display a Confederate flag and have Southern Pride?” And my comment was “I’ll proudly display them both at my home. #homoredneck4life”.
And yes, that is the truth. I have a keychain on my keys right now with the Confederate flag on it and on my leg, I have tattooed the gay pride flag, with Thumper (from the movie “Bambi” right dead in the center). I don’t care for labels much, but long ago, my BFF and brother from another mother tagged me with the label “Emo Homo Redneck” and it fits so if a label is required, that’s the one I use.
But back to my story. I posted that post on my Facebook page and forgot about it. It’s not a big deal. I’m proud of my southern roots and proud to be a gay man and I think anyone that has known me for more than a few hours would know and realize this. Both distinctions are part of who I am, yet neither is the total of who I am. I am a combination of many things to differing degrees and I am Dougie… hear me roar. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, I don’t think that post will surprise or faze anyone who truly knows me and they’ll just shrug, smile and move on to the next post or meme or whatever. That’s how most people would react, but there is one person on my Facebook page that doesn’t seem to get with the program. Let me explain.
I came to my computer a few minutes ago and I had an IM waiting. No big deal. It’s from a guy who I know casually and have for about ten years, maybe a little longer, and while we’re not friends per say, we have mutual friends in common and if we see each other in the street or at Wal-Mart or whatever, we speak and wave and move on. But they’ve sent me a message and well, it was a bit on the crazy side.
He commented almost immediately that he didn’t know I was gay and always thought I was cool. And I’m reading this and am like, “please don’t be going where I think this is going.” And then after a comment about the rebel flag and having a beer sometime, he got right to the point, which is where I was afraid this was going to go. “You want to suck my **** sometime?”, he asked, And he sent a picture of his penis in the next message, all proud and in it’s full glory. It was nice and pretty enough but could use a little trimming around the edges so it it wouldn’t be so bushy. But in regards to that question, I don’t think so. The answer is “NO!”
Why is it that every straight man assumes that if he’s friends with a gay man, all we want to do is jump his bones and sleep with him? What the hell? Ninety-eight percent of my friends are straight guys and while some of them are attractive guys, just because we hang out and are friends does not mean I want to jump into the sack with you or get funky like a monkey with you or whatever. I might check you out sometimes and I might even talk trash and throw out the occasional innuendo or perverted comment… Hell, I can almost assure you that I’ll be making remarks and talking trash because that’s what I do. It shows that I like you, respect you and am comfortable with you. And that’s between me and my friends. And the few that have called me out on my trash-talking, it doesn’t go anywhere. It’s just friends being friends and guys being guys. It’s not a big deal.
But this guy realizes that I’m gay and just automatically thinks I want to suck his… It doesn’t work like that, sweetheart. I’m not that easy. At least buy me dinner or let’s go hang out at the college first or something. And what’s really bad about this is that this person is married… with children. And I know his wife. And I know his kids. Again, not well, but I know them. And he’s sending me dick pics and trying to get laid. Nah, it ain’t gonna happen. Not now and not ever. I have a good mind to reveal his name and send his message and pictures to his wife on her Facebook page. I did think about it, but it’s not going to happen either. I’m going to ignore the pic and I replied back that thanks, but no thanks. I don’t do married men and it wouldn’t be right. Hopefully, he’ll get the message. And I’ve already forgotten the entire reason for this post and why I decided to write this. Oh yeah, there are a few things that my friends, straight, bi, gay, transgender and otherwise, all need to know when dealing with me. And here goes…
Even if I’m checking you out, don’t feel special. I check all of the guys out at some point that I hang out with.
I do not want to get into your pants or be your side-homo or whatever. If I want to get freaky with you, I’ll tell you. Don’t assume.
If I talk trash and talk innuendo, don’t take it too seriously. It means I’m comfortable and relaxed with you. I talk trash sometimes and if if makes you uncomfortable, tell me and I’ll quit. Or talk back. It could be fun too.
If you’re in a relationship, I’m going to respect that and keep my distance, regardless of what I might think of or feel for you. And if I’m in one, I expect you to do the same.
And I’ve forgotten what else I was going to say. What was the point of this whole blog anyhow? My mind just went blank. I hate it when that happens, which is far too often sometimes.
So long story short, to summerize everything I’ve already said. I posted a meme. Proud to be a Southerner and proud to be a gay man. A guy wants to me suck his d***. He sent a pic. I said no and that’s the end of that. And I don’t sleep with or try to sleep with every guy I’m around or even most of them. I will talk trash, but all you straight boys is safe. ‘Nuff said!
This post was weird. I’ll post it anyhow because I wrote it and if I write it, you must read it. I probably should have just done a “Wrestling Q&A” instead. I’m going to go get ready for work. Maybe Ryan, my future ex-husband from the college, who I WANT to sleep with and make my baby-daddy, will come in to the store tonight. He so damn sexy… and a really nice guy too. He wrestles. I like wrestling. Rawrrrr!
I’m gone for now. Maybe the next piece, after work tonight will make more sense. I’ve got a “Wrestling Fact or Fiction”, a “This or That” and an “Opposing Views” all lined up and outlined. I just have to write and post them. Oh vey! Well, until the next time, don’t send me any dick pics and I’ll catch you on the flip side. Okay, change that. If you’re actually cute and someone I would probably like to talk to, unlike this clown I was speaking of earlier, send me any pics you want. I’m on Facebook and Twitter at @doug28352. But just don’t assume anything. Ask and I’ll tell you, but assumptions… we all know what they do. Later, my Peeps. I’m down and gone.