10 Days Of Dougie – Day 1: Do I Know You?, Dogma & Characters…

Ten Days Of Dougie – Day 1
Do I Know You, Dogma and Characters I Like
September 27, 2017
DougMaynard.com

Well, it’s finally time to get the ball rolling and bring back the always popular “Ten Days Of”, not to be confused with “A Dozen Days Of” or “Thirty Days Of”. Same concept of course, but the number of days committed to the task at hand differed greatly. I’m so ready to get this thing started, but I’m also dreading it. “Why?”, you ask. Because I know that as soon as I start writing and getting into the groove, something will happen to distract me. My cell phone will start ringing. The house phone will ring. My cat will come into the room wanting attention. My mother will come over and say, “I don’t want to bother you” and then proceed to tell me something I don’t have any interest in about someone I’ve never heard of and this will go on and on and on. It never fails, no matter what time of day or night I try to write. I need a private office or a condo at the beach or even a small cave somewhere hidden deep in the jungles of Brazil. But then there would probably be spiders, savage head-hunters and poor internet reception so I’d still be frustrated so I guess I’ll just live with it.

For those of you who didn’t get the memo, let me briefly explain what “Ten Days Of Dougie” is all about. It’s me (Dougie) writing for the next ten days straight with no days off. I do that pretty much anyways with the “Wrestling Fact or Fiction”, “Music Fact or Fiction”, “Opposing Views”, Facebook Q&A” and “Wrestling Q&A” things, but this is different in so many ways. Instead of coming in with a topic in mind, doing my research and trying to (generally) stick to the genre at hand, for “Ten Days”, it all goes out the window. I reach into a bag (the “Magic Bag”) and draw out two or three slips of paper. On those tiny slips of paper are words, phrases, topics, etc and that’s what I’m writing about. I have no idea what I’m getting until I’ll pulled it out of the bag and then, I’m committed. It’s like meeting someone on Craigslist, but not nearly as much driving involved. And that’s where it gets fun. No advance warning. It’s just “write about this and go”. And I’m going to do this every day for the next ten days straight. It might be lame. It might be great. It might change the world. But we’ll never know until all is said and done. And with that in mind, enough of this “intro”. Let’s get to work.

I’m reaching now into the “Magic Bag” and the topics for today, “Day 1” of the “Ten Days Of Dougie” blog series are… “Do I Know You”, “Dogma” and “Characters I Like”. Okay then. Nothing too earth shattering here and I don’t think any of these three topics will be too wild or crazy. Well, with “Dogma”, I’ll be talking about a Kevin Smith movie so that could get a little weird. Let’s do this…

Do I Know You?…

When you live and work in a small town, especially if you work in a job where you deal with the public, there will always be people coming up to you asking where they know you from or “did we go to school together” or some kind of similar question. And Scotland County is about about 30,000 people if I recall correctly and I’ve been working in stores and with the public since I was 16 years old so people around here definitely know me. They might not know my name (although far too many actually do) and they might not be sure where we’ve met before, but they know me. At least two to three times a week at work, I’m asked this question. And then, usually before I can give an answer, they tell me where “we met” and what I used to do. And usually, it’s wrong. Very, very wrong. I’m not sure if I can remember all of the places that I’ve been told that I know people from, but I’ll list as many as I can. I know people from, “working at McDonald’s in South Carolina, working at the plant J.P. Stevens, working at Wal-Mart, being a school teacher in South Carolina, being a school teacher at Scotland, working at Eaton, working at Campbell Soup over in Maxton, Crackers, living in Maxton, living in Rockingham, working at the Wal-Mart in Rockingham. There are so more, but these are the ones I can think of right off the top of my head. And of course, the always popular “we went to school together” and then, when I ask what year they graduated, they’re off by about ten to fifteen years. For the record, every single place that I’ve been accused of working at in the past or where people know me from, it’s wrong. They’re wrong. I just have one of those faces that people remember and recognize and know. Oh yeah, I just remembered, I’ve been accused of being an EMT, a plumber and a police officer as well. Me, a cop? Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Nothing against police officers. I have a great deal of respect for the men and women of law enforcement (most of them) and many of my friends and associates are cops. But my fat ass wearing a badge and having authority? That would be scary. Picture a real life “Cartman” driving a Blazer and there you go. “Respect my Authority!”. Not a pretty sight at all. Now, back to our program.

So where do these people actually know and remember me from? Not quite four years working as the Assistant Manager at Nic’s in North Laurinburg, by the Fire Department, five years of Kangaroo doing the third shift thing and close to ten years working at the Food Bank as a volunteer. Ten years at Dairy Mart too for the older folks, but Kangaroo or Nic’s are the biggies where I’m actually most remembered from. I did C-stores for a long, long time. And have the gray hairs and battle scars to prove it. So now, when people ask me where they know me from, I just smile and say, “Do you watch porn?”. And there you go…

Dogma…

A fantastic movie by Kevin Smith starring Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, George Carlin, Chris Rock, Carrie Fisher and so many others. It’s in many ways a shot at the Catholic religion, but its not nearly as disrespectful at it may seem at first. Did I forget to mention that Alan Rickman and Selma Hayek are also in the movie. The plot is simple. Bethany, a woman who’s lost her faith, is assigned on a mssion to help find God, who is missing. She’s joined on her quest by Jay & Silent Bob and Chris Rock and by the way, they also have to stop two fallen angels (Affleck and Damon) from re-entering Heaven and negating all reality. Jason Lee is here too and cameos by all the View Askew Universe regulars. A damn good movie that’s far better and way more insightful that anyone would expect or that it has a right to be. And in the end, all is well and God (played by Alanis Morrisette of all people) is saved. It’s probably my third favorite Kevin Smith movie after Clerks and Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back and it’s well written, well acted and entertaining and insightful at the same time. The religious theme might frighten a few people off, but it shouldn’t. In the end, I think that Jesus and everyone else up above would approve. I surely do. Check it out if you get the chance.

And finally…

Characters I Like…

I guess this is referring to characters that I like to read about and in my case, write about when I writing my fan fiction stories, which by the way are available for your reading pleasure at http://www.fanfiction.net. Look under the writer name of TSFiction19 and there are sixty-five (and more to come) stories of several different genres waiting and ready to be read, reviewed and enjoyed. Go check it out. So I’m taking this as an opportunity to list the characters most near and dear to my heart when I’m in the mood to write a story. Sounds good to me.

For wrestling based fics, my favorites are The Miz, Steve Austin, Mae Young, Zack Ryder and the old school wrestlers of the 70’s and 80’s. They’re better because they were characters and had defining styles and manners of speaking, cutting promos and all that fun stuff. Most of the wrestlers of today are bland and more generic and trying to use them as characters is not quite as easy.

For my comic book based fiction stories, I like using from the Avengers, Dr. Druid, The Black Widow, Hercules and Mantis (from the comics and not the Guardians of the Galaxy movie. That character was lame!) I also have included the characters from the gothic soap opera, Dark Shadows, in the mix when I write my stories and BArnabas Collins, Quentin, Dr. Julia Hoffman and Elizabeth Collins Stoddard are among my favorites to write about.

And for anything else, my go-to’s are Joan Rivers (RIP), Kermit the Frog, Keith Olbermann and of course, our President, Donald Trump. He’s a great character and I can’t resist sometimes.

And that’s who I like to write about. Other characters come and go, but generally if I’m writing a fiction story, in some way, shape or form, depending upon what kind of story it is, some of these characters will make an appearance. Count on it.

And I guess that’s all for today. This wasn’t so bad and was relatively painless. I hope that it was enjoyable enough and didn’t bore you to tears. Back tomorrow so look for it. Thoughts and comments are welcome and appreciated. And for now, I’m out of here. See you tomorrow.

Ubuntu!

@00 @ 1 big one meme

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