Flashback: Blonde Brainiac

I originally wrote this five years ago as part of my “Days of Dougie” series.  It’s a Flashback folks… Enjoy.

Thirty (More) Days of Dougie – Part 3: Blonde Brainiac

Was trying to decide what to write about for my “Thirty (More) Days of Dougie” piece. I’m running a couple of days behind and need to get to steppin’ to play catch up, but I’ve been distracted by a few things called work and sleep.  And also I’ve started on the “Fifty Shades of Gray” series.  I have all three books here and damn it all, I WILL read all three.  It’s hard to believe that this book is considered mainstream reading these days and has such positive reviews. It’s pretty fascinating thus far and has some great characters, but it’s more like a copy of Penthouse Letters rather than the typical books that one usually finds out there winning awards and for the public consumption. I’m getting a lot of great ideas on how to spice up things with Cal when he comes home.  Me thinks my man is gonna be in trouble.  Or maybe I’ll be the one in trouble?  Hmmmmm!  That could be fun too.



Anyhow, I’m reading the books and they’re distracting me from my writing. But I will  NOT go to bed tonight until I’ve written at least one quick bloggy piece.  And this is it.  So let’s get to writing (and reading), shall we?



Thirty (More) Days of Dougie – Part 3:  Blonde Brainiac



Okay, this happened at work earlier tonight.  I had an encounter with a young woman which just struck me as amazingly stupid beyond belief.  Well, maybe not that stupid because I’ve worked with people before who would have fallen for her brazen attempt at shenanigans.  But I’m not one of that.  I may have been born at night, but it wasn’t last night.  I’ve always hated that expression.  I used to share a trailer with a pill-popping, psychotic, crazy-bitch who loved to say that repeatedly whenever she thought someone was trying to get over on her.  Awwww, what memories.



But anyhow, here’s what happened tonight at work.



A woman came into the store. She’s a semi-regular and… how do I describe her without being too mean?  She’s about as smart as a goldfish on crack.  She’s definitely not going to be getting any phones calls from Mensa at any point in her life, except maybe as a bad example.  Yeah, based on her behavior, words, actions and the way she presents herself, I am not very impressed.



So she comes into the store and gets a few things and wants to know if we take checks.  Sure we do, if you have ID and if our machine can verify and approve it when we run the check through.  So I ring up her stuff and she pulls out a checkbook and starts writing the check.  I glance at it and it’s not her name.  It’s a man’s name.  And it’s from Charlotte, NC too.  It’s not even local.



I ask her very nicely about the check and who it belongs too.  She says it’s okay because she has ID and brings out a copy of the man’s drivers license who’s name is on the check.



Okay then.  I tell her that she can’t use another person’s check or ID in our store. We can’t take it.  So she offers to “call the man” so he can let me know that she’s allowed to use his checks and sign his name.  I don’t think so and tell her again, very nicely, that she can not write checks on this other man’s account, even if she does have his ID with her.  And she’s actually confused about why she can’t?  I don’t think she’s that good an actress – I think she’s just a total dumb-ass because she just couldn’t seem to get it through her head that I was NOT going to take this man’s check and let her sign it and use it and accept it.



Finally, she seemed to get it and asked if she could use a debit card instead.  By this time, a line had built up and I was just ready to get her out of my store so I said okay and to go ahead and swipe her card.  I caught a quick glance at the card and it had the same name as the checks did so whoever this man is, she managed to get not only his checks and ID, but also his debit card.  She knew the pin number though (surprised me) and entered it correctly.



Guess what?  Insufficent funds.  Big surprise, right?  Not really.  So she asked again if she could just write a check.  And I told her again, “NO!”



So she got mad, called me a “son of a bitch” and walked out.



Just another fun night at the hole.  Was she really that damn dumb that she thought I would let her write a check that not only was not hers, but didn’t even belong to someone of the same gender?



The sad thing is that I’ve worked with people who not only would have taken the check without a word, but would also never have looked at the ID and wouldn’t have even thought about running it through the machine either.  They just would have taken the check, let her write it for any amount that happened to strike her fancy and probably would have let her write it over the amount of her purchases too and given her cash back.  Some people are that ignorant.



Luckily for Nic’s (and unluckily for the young hoochie tonight), I’m not one of them.  I’m not claiming to be the  brightest log on the fire all the time, but I do know my job and that little Jimmy done got got!  ‘Nuff said!



Okay! That’s my story and I’m sticking too it.  Time to go read about Christian Gray and Ana for a bit.  And anal fisting (or so I’ve been warned).  I’ll be back later with Part 4 and maybe even Part 5 (and then I’ll be caught up.  Yay!).  Thanks for reading.




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