Notes To Myself – March 8, 2018

Notes To Myself VIII
March 8, 2018
DougMaynard.com

Greetings, salutations and how the hell are you? It’s Thursday morning as I write this and I really should be in bed. Tomorrow will be a long day of selling fine spirits and getting as many people plastered as I can. This is what I call, “Notes To Myself”, where I pretty much just go through all of these scraps of paper I’ve stacked up on my desk which contain ideas of things to write about and do for the site that for whatever reason, mainly time, I haven’t done yet. It’s also my chance to just ramble and talk about whatever happens to be on my mind. If I was Peter Griffin, I’d have balls on my chin and this would be starting off with “You know what grinds my gears?”. But I’m not Peter, this isn’t Family Guy and my balls are firmly tucked away inside my drawers so we get the “Notes To Myself” thing instead. It’s late and I’m tired so I don’t know exactly how much of a dent into this stack I’ll make tonight, but maybe I can make this funny or entertaining and still get a few pages out of the way. We’ll see…

Before I get to looking through the papers, I want to tell a little story of something that happened to me just about an hour or so ago when I was on my way back home from my brother’s house. I was coming up Turnpike Road, doing the speed limit of course because I never speed. And there was a car behind me and following fairly close, but that was not a big deal. People around here do that a lot. Bunch of stupid idiots. But it’s all good and I’m used to it. Anyhow, I came up to the stop light on Turnpike and Blue Farm Rd, right by the church. Locals know where I’m talking about and the rest of you, it really doesn’t matter to the story anyhow. I’m at the stop light, waiting for it to turn green. The car behind me is, well it’s behind me. And the light turns green and the car behind me, here comes the blue lights. Yes, it was a police car and he was pulling me over. Oh shit! So I’m having a fat-man heart attack, checking my seat belt to make sure it’s buckled and I pull across the intersection and pull over. I just put my hands up on the steering wheel, roll my window down and wait, all the time wondering what I did. I know I wasn’t speeding. I didn’t make any turns so I can’t get pulled for not signaling. I didn’t cross the center line. I haven’t been drinking and I’m actually 100% legal. What the freakin’ hell. And as you might guess, my mind was all over the place just waiting for the cop to come up to the car and tell me why he pulled me over.

And here he comes. And as soon as the cop, a city officer, gets to the car, he starts apologizing. He didn’t mean to pull me over and he’s embarassed. His phone slipped off the dashboard and hit his computer and set off all the blue lights. That’s why it took him so long to get out of his car and come to mine. I just looked and him and he had that expression on his face like, “oops, I f*cked up” and I just laughed and said, “Damn it man, you just about gave me a freakin’ heart attack!”. He apologized again and then we started talking. The officer used to come into Nic’s and remembers me from there and plus he knows me now from the ABC. He’s actually a cool dude and by the time we quit talking, he had apologized about a dozen more times for accidentally hitting the blue lights on me. He wished me a good night and I drove off. And then, on the way home for the last mile or so, I just let out a big sigh of relief. I drove illegally for so many years that even now, that I’m 100% legal and doing right, getting pulled still tears my nerves up and scares the crap out of me. But it was nice to know that I was totally legit and had nothing to worry about, even if the stop had been intentional. It’s just a weird experience and way to end the night. I think the next time this guy comes into the ABC, I’m gonna buy him a shot bottle. My nerves are still shot from being pulled over, but the experience turned out to be a good one and the guy was so apologetic and funny. Definitely better than the last time I was in a car and got pulled over. And by the way, I’m still ALLOWED IN WAL-MART… asshole.

Let’s go see what kind of stuff I’ve written notes to write about that, once I write about them here, will probably never think about again. Here is a thing I wrote about the pros and cons of “Should I Run For Political Office”. I can answer this one easily. I’m probably popular enough in this town that I could get some good support. But I also have enough skeletons to fill a grave yard and let’s be honest, I’ve said so many things on this site and in my wrestling columns that would piss people off and is definitely not politically correct that I would get blasted from Day 1, probably impeached and maybe even have a lawsuit or two going on. It would be great for the local media and maybe even a tabloid or two, but for my friends, family and sanity, it would not be pleasant at all. Better to just blog and poke the bears every so often than to actually run for any kind of political office around here. Unless it’s after I retire from the store and just don’t give a damn anymore. And then, anything is possible. Never say never. After all, Donald Trump is our President, right? Hmmmmm…

I bought a Powerball ticket earlier tonight. The jackpot is so big, I had to take the opportunity and just go for it. If you never see another blog from me, you’ll know I either won the lottery or else someone’s wife found out something she wasn’t supposed too. Oops! Hopefully, it’ll be the lottery thing. Over 300 million bucks? Wish me luck.

Did you know that mixing gin and white raisins can help relieve arthritis? I was talking to an older woman today at the store and she told me all about it in major detail. It works for her and has for almost twenty years. That’s good to know.

Coming up this Sunday night, I’ll be taking part in a recording of the SMF Cyberspace podcast. Myself, Brent and Luke are doing “15 Lost & Forgotten Movie Gems” or something of that nature. I’ve got 15 movies picked out, some of which I’ve already covered here at the site and a few extras mixed in, that I think will make for some interesting discussion. I also can’t wait to hear what kind of lost gems that Brent and Luke have to offer. I’m just trying to get my voice back and get rid of this cough before we go on-air on Sunday night. I’m expecting it should be a fun show.

Also Sunday is WWE Fastlane, the last pay-per-view for the WWE before Wrestlemania. I’ll have my predictions for the event up probably Friday night or Saturday. It’s a stacked show by the WWE, but no one is really paying any attention right now because the focus for all the fans is the big show in April. This is just filler until then.

Speaking of wrestling shows and one that is definitely NOT filler, there will be a live Indy event next Saturday, March 17th, in McColl SC. It’s my weekend off from the store so barring anything screwing that up, I hope to actually get to go see this show live and see my old friend, the diabolical Ethan Storm and his tag team partner take on the Carolina Kidd and Kidd’s partner. My apologies for not being able to remember the names of their partners, but I don’t know those guys personally. I know Storm though and I know the Kidd. This show should be off the charts and if I am able to make it, I’ll do a recap and report on the show here at the site. I’ll have more details about the event later on this week as well. I think this might be a good way to introduce my nephew, who loves wrestling, to his first live event. Now that could be really cool.

Here’s a note I made for myself to do a blog about guns and gun violence. I had a BB gun when I was 7 years old… a Daisy rifle of course. I had a pellet gun when I was ten years old. So did most of my friends. I learned how to load, clean and shoot a revolver and a shotgun when I was twelve. And guess what? I’m still alive and so are my friends and family. Most of the people of my generation had guns when they were kids and yet, the shooting up of schools and mass murders and all of that stuff, didn’t happen. What’s the difference between then and now. Kids of my generation took responsibility for their actions, knew that actions had consequences and had common sense. Kids today, they get their feelings hurt, hide in their “safe place” and eat Tide Pods. I still might eventually do this blog, but I think that everything that needs to be said already has been. The problems are not the guns, but it’s the lack of responsiblity and lack of education with the young people and no parental control that’s the issue. People have no values or sense of responsibility anymore. It’s all about entitlements and just not giving a damn about anyone but themselves. Go outside, put the phones and controllers down, pull up your pants and grow the fuck up, kids. Oh vey!

Did anyone else notice that the guy in Florida who shot up the high school, Nicholas Cruz and the former gang member who wrote the book, “Run Baby Run” back in the seventies, Nicky Cruz, have the same name. I wonder if they’re related?

Does anyone else remember the Beer Shampoo that was so popular in the late 70’s. It was shampp that allegedly had real beer in it to help make the hair more shiny and soft. Do they still make this stuff? I would guess not because the big brained young-uns of today would be trying to drink it to get drunk. After all, they do eat Tide Pods, right?

And no, I’m never going to let that go. Bunch of stupid idiots.

Rabbit Lockear is an awesome and incredible man who I’m proud and honored to have called my friend for almost thirty years. Everyone has a “Rabbit” story to share. I know I have mine, but this isn’t the time or place. I will do that eventually. But if anyone has a story or two about this fine young man that they’d like to share, feel free. I want to hear it.

I think I buy cat food at least once a week. And I’m not talking about the small bags, but instead the big 22lb bags of Kit & Kaboodle. We have way too many straybies around here mooching off of us for food and water, at least three times a day. I’d quit feeding them, but I love cats and they are pretty cool to watch and observe. And we have a possum too. I guess he thinks he’s one of the cats. He comes and eats right next to them almost nightly. We call him “Snout!”. He’s an ugly thing but I’ve gotten used to him and he’s gotten used to me and doesn’t run anymore. He just waddles to the edge of the carport and watches me fill the food bowls and then eats. Damn cats (and possums). I love my critters though.

And I think I’m going to close this up now, The morning is going to come early and I’m not going to want to get up. I already know this. So thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, questions and any good jokes are welcome and would be appreciated. I’m down and gone. Until the next time, take care and have a great one. I loves ya.

Ubuntu!

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