Facebook Q&A – June 9, 2018

Tossing Salt Presents:
Facebook Q&A
June 9, 2018
DougMaynard.com

One of the great things, also one of the most annoying but I’m focusing on the positive here, about Facebook is that people have no sense of privacy and will ask anything about anything and actually expect an answer. People are nosy as hell. Luckily for me, I’m good about all of that because I have no secrets. Well maybe that time with your husband and brother at the cook-out, but that was because of the alcohol… I promise. Anyhow, the following questions have all popped up on my Facebook timeline at some point over the past few weeks and what the hell, it’s material for me to use here as part of a Facebook Q&A, right? I’m down with that (and your boyfriend). So let’s answer a few questions, shall we? Let’s do this…

Describe the “sound of silence”.

When everyone else is away from the house doing something else and you’re all alone. Maybe you can hear the cars outside or the cat in the other room making a mess, but it’s just peaceful and quiet and there’s no TV, no radio, no talking, no phone ringing, etc. Just a great calm and peaceful feeling that washes all over you and makes you feel at one with the universe. It’s a truly fantastic feeling that happens not nearly enough.

Where do you see yourself when you retire?

Living in a small apartment with my cat, writing daily on the computer and aside from the weekly trips to the grocery store, Wal-Mart and the liquor store, just in total isolation and avoiding the world and people as much as possible.

What things just make you shake your head?

People with tattoos on their necks and faces. I like tats and have three of my own, but on the face? What the hell were they thinking? Also the folks with their pants sagging and their ass hanging out, showing their dirty drawers to the world. And the college students and liberals who encourage free speech, but whine, cry and complain before going to hide in their safe spaces if anyone dares to disagree with them. And pretty much just people in general. People are weird.

If you were given the money to start your own business, what kind of business would it be?

I think it’d be a small bar that deals mainly in beer and shots, nothing fancy, with a couple of pool tables, a pinball machine and just really simple. A neighborhood bar type deal, kind of a Dougie version of “Cheers”. That would be great for my future retirement years when I’m not being a writer or hiding away from the world in my “safe space”.

You win a trip to Fantasy Island. What would your fantasy be?

A chance to work as a professional wrestling manager for the WWE or Impact and manage a group of mid-carders to success while also working on the booking / writing teams and helping to create stories and book the matches. If that’s not possible, a best selling book of “The Best Of Tossing Salt”, reprinting my old columns, blogs and other assorted writings.

ABC asks you to develop a show to replace “Roseanne”. What would the basis of the show be?

A group of workers in either a convenient store or liquor store. Dealing with the public in a retail enviroment with the different workers, based on people I’ve known and worked with over the years, trying their best to cope and manage. It would be hilarious and so much fun to write and do.

Who really let the dog’s out?

I think it was the cat.

And there you go. I’m through here. Comments, thoughts and any questions welcome and appreciated. Give me some feedback, my Peeps. Until the next time, stay safe and remember to eat your fruits and vegetables. Have a great one.

Ubuntu!

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