5 Questions: The Ex, Best Friends, The Future & More

Tossing Salt Presents:
5 Questions
The Ex, Best Friend, The Future & More
October 7, 2018
DOugMaynard.com

It’s time to do a few questions that have come in my direction from life, from TV, from Facebook, etc. Inquiring minds want to know and I’ve got the answers right here, five of them at a time. Let’s do this…

Use a commercial slogan to describe your ex.

It depends upon which ex you’re speaking of, but I’ve got two, one for Danny and one for Haney. You can guess which one applies to which person. For one, it’s “Tastes great, but less filling”. He’s good, but slightly lacking if you catch my drift. And for the other, I’ll go with, “D.T.A.” Was that a commercial slogan or just a wrestling catch phrase by Stone Cold Steve Austin? WHAT? I’m still using it. WHAT? It fits! WHAT? And that’s the bottom line cause I just said so. WHAT?

Why is your best friend your best friend?

We spoke on this the other day and the reason that we came up with is that it’s because we both hate change and are used to each other and it would be too many headaches and problems to break in someone new so we stay together as best friends instead. And while there is some truth to that, I’ll take it a step farther and say that my friendship with my BFF, my bro, is a weird one. There’s a big age difference. We don’t necessarily agree on much of anything and we both do things that the other doesn’t really like or approve of. We don’t have much in common except for wrestling and slightly (?) warped minds and sense of humor. But I know that through thick or thin, he always has my back and I hope he knows that I’ll always have his… period. There is a chemistry and bond there that doesn’t make sense on the surface or even to us at times, but this guy is my brother, in some ways the son I never had and means the world to me and I can’t imagine my life without him as a part of it in some capacity. And he’s stuck with me too. So “why?”. I can’t explain why it is as it is, but it just is and I’m damn happy and appreciative of it and him. He’s not a friend – he’s family and as Jay & Silent Bob would say, my “heterosexual life mate”. And that suits me just damn fine.

What do you consider “off limits”?

People who are under-age, animals, elevators and intentionally hurting and / or lying to people. Anything else, just bring it. ‘Nuff said!

What is a quote that describes your life?

“Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes.” ~ Hugh Prather

Where do you see yourself in ten years?

Ten years from now, I’ll hopefully still be working at the ABC Store, planning my retirement, working on this website and also doing several projects a year with the folks at SMF Cyberspace and maybe even BRAD&DERK. Writing frequently, dating and maybe married to a wonderful and awesome man who I probably haven’t met yet, but who has green eyes and a great booty and just living life with my best friend, his family and my cats.

And that’s it. Questions, comments and any other thoughts welcome and appreciated. Until the next time, take care of yourself and each other. Have a great one.

Ubuntu!

@00 @ a jay & silent bob

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