Tossing Salt Presents:
Promos, Hogan, Heat & More
October 7, 2018
It’s the Wrestling Q&A. I have the CD “Sublime” by Sublime of course, blasting in the headphones. Love is what I got. Remember that! The questions come from the Facebook page of the Kult of Kayfabe, aka “The KoK”. Let’s do this…
What is the most inspirational wrestling promo of all time?
I don’t know about how inspirational it is, but for any student of wrestling psychology, I would say go see Ole Anderson’s confrontation with Thunderbolt Patterson just prior to Ole joining Arn as a tag partner and turning heel. Ole is so cold and delivers so well in this promo, you get goose bumps as he talks about how he’s tired of carrying Thunderbolt, Tommy Rich, Dusty, etc and he looks at a young Arn and see’s an Anderson and how an Anderson should be. Any Ole promo is like that though and you believe every word he’s saying. As for inspirational for the sake of positivity and inspiring others, I guess we’ll go with Mark Henry’s “retirement speech” where he wore that great jacket and set up John Cena. That was Henry’s best promo ever and although it was a swerve, there was so much reality and truth in there as well. That’s why it worked so well. And honorable mention goes to Paul Heyman at ECW One Night Stand 2005 where he thanked the fans, cut the promo on “the Invaders” and said that he wasn’t crying, but instead had been outside smoking a joint with Van Dam. Any Heyman promo is usually on the mark, but he was especially on target that night with his worked-shoot style.
What is the best mockery of Hulk Hogan that you’ve seen?
Hogan himself for the past twenty years or so is what immediately comes to mind, but I guess this question is asking for when someone else made fun of the Hulkster, brother! How about when HBK Shawn Michaels did the fake Larry King skit posing as Hogan and about “brothered” everyone to death before super-kicking the Larry King clone. That was great… brother!
Who would you say is wrestling’s best ever “Heat Master”?
Are you talking about good heat as in being a heel and people buying into it or X-Pac style heat where people just hate you because you suck? For the first one, I’ll go with Miz because he’s the best in the WWE right now and gets it. He can work the crowd like few others and they follow his lead, loving him for his talent, but hating him so much for his antics. For the other kind of heat, because they simply are bad and don’t deserve to be in front of the crowds, I’d say Eva Marie, but she’s gone now and wisely left the business. I’m not sure who to choose because most top talents have moderate promo and ring skills and get it, at least to a point. I’ll do the easy answer and go with Roman Reigns. People still buy his merch, but people also love to boo him and hate on him, deserved or not. And how about Bobby Lashley? He comes to the ring and the reaction is generally just nothing, not good or bad. It’s more to do with the booking and way he’s being used than anything he’s done personally, but I see Lashley is coming up and automatically think bathroom break.
Gillberg, Ellsworth & Hornswoggle versus Mike Kanelis, Curt Hawkins & Zack Ryder on a WWE Event. Who wins?
Since it’s WWE and they seem to like Ellsworth and Swoggle and Gillberg are WWE legends, kind of in a weird sort of way, the obvious winners would be the team of freaks and oddballs. Kanelis isn’t going to get any kind of push without Maria healthy and by his side. You have to know he’s missing ROH right now and regretting the decision to come over to WWE. Hawkins only claim to fame right now is the losing streak and when it does end, it should be a major happening. And Ryder, that poor fool. He only gets the occasional win on the Main Event and then gets teased a push only to have it snatched away and gets buried time and time again. If WWE had a six man title, something that makes sense when you have groups like The New Day, The Shield, Braun and his partners Dolph & Drew, Jinder and his two henchmen, etc, running around, WWE would put the belts on a grouping like Ellsworth, Gillberg and Swoggle. That’s how they work. And that team would win this dream match too.
Mr. Bootyworth was played by Dewey Foley. Thoughts?
I thought it was funny and it’s good to see Mick’s son getting some WWE work even if it is just as an extra in a WWE skit. I laughed and would love to see Mr. Bootyworth, aka Dewey, become more of a regular fixture on WWE TV. Hell, if he has even half of his dad’s imagination, I could see him in a manager or valet role and having this skit come back to haunt The Bar as Dewey becomes a thorn in their side. I wonder what Mick was thinking about it when Dewey got that pancake batter dropped over his head, but hell, Mick has done far worse in his career and you have to start somewhere. Dewey had gotten his foot into the WWE door. Now, we just wait and see what happens next.
You’ve just started a major promotion. TV deal, merchandise distribution & everything is set. You basically have an unlimited budget. Who is your: Head Trainer, Director of Talent, On-Screen GM and Booker? Here’s the catch. All four have to hate each other.
And that catch is what makes things so interesting. My head trainer would be Lance Storm. He does a great job with his school in Calgary and knows the fundamentals of the business, both from the in-ring point of view as well as any psychological aspects. He’s not the most political guy in the world which is great, but he doesn’t bite his tongue or keep quiet either which would be great. My Director of Talent, handling all talent relations and contract negotiations, would be James E. Cornette. He knows all aspects of the business as well and worked with ROH, OVW and of course Smokey Mountain Wrestling in working with talent relations and booking. The on-screen GM would be Eric Bischoff. It’s Eric freakin’ Bischoff. No explanation is necessary. And as for the Bookers, it would be a team of three men: Vince Russo, Paul Heyman and Mick Foley. Bischoff and Cornette hate Russo. Heyman and Bischoff have heat as do Bischoff and Foley. Storm is pretty much the only person who gets along with everyone and having so many strong personalities in one place, it would be amazing to witness. The only thing that would make it more tense and ready to explode would bring in Ole Anderson as a “Senior Advisor”. With these people, all amazing minds and talents, the new promotion would have all tools to succeed, but would implode pretty quickly as well.
And there you go. Questions, comments and any thoughts are welcome and appreciated. Thank you for reading. And until the next time, I’m down and out of here. Take care and I’ll see you at the matches.