12 Dougie Days Of Christmas – Day 1: Snowflakes, Dream Home & Rock Super Group…

12 Dougie Days Of Christmas
Day 1: Snowflakes, Dream Home & Rock Super Group
December 7, 2018
DougMaynard.com

Greetings and welcome to the 12 Dougie Days Of Christmas where the “Days Of Dougie” meets the “12 Days Of Christmas” and nothing will ever be the same again. For the next twelve days, I will be writing and posting a “Days Of Dougie” blog. For those who are not familiar with the term, it’s where I select random topics from a bag full of topics written on small scraps of paper and then write about them. I have no advance warning about what the topics may be and no chance to prepare before hand. It’s like, write about this and go. It’s a great writing exercise for me and usually makes for some interesting and, hopefully, entertaining reading for you as well. Can I do this? Can I write for twelve days straight and be funny, informative, entertaining and not totally suck? We’ll find out together. This is one of my Christmas presents to you, the loyal readers of this site (all eight of you). So let’s take a deep breath and get ready to get ‘er done. Ho! Ho! Ho! That’s roll call in the parking lot at the local c-store in the middle of town on a late weekend night. Well, any night really. See, ho’s are not just for Christmas anymore. And that’s all besides the point. Let’s do this. And away we go…

I haven’t really spoken on this yet, but I want to send my condolences to the friends, family and supporters of President George H.W. Bush, aka “41”, who passed away a few days ago at age 94. I know that some people don’t like President Bush and that’s okay. Everyone has their own opinion and views and I get that. Me though, I liked the man. I think he did a good job as President and I think that he cared about our nation and loved America. I’m proud that the first Presidential election that I ever voted in was the election of 1984 when I was 18 years old. I voted for President Reagan and Vice President Bush over the team of Walter Mondale and Geraldine Ferraro. Then in 1988, I was proud to once again vote for George H.W. Bush and Dan Quayle as they defeated Governor Micheal Dukakis & Lloyd Bentsen to become the President and Vice President of the United States. Was the man perfect? Not at all. A person doesn’t gain that kind of power without a few dirty deeds and skeletons in their closet. And he made a lot of mistakes during his time as the Commander In Chief, especially on the domestic front, but his love for his wife, his family and his country were not and have never been in doubt. Rest in Peace, George Herbert Walker Bush. You will be missed Sir.

And I also want to send out condolences to the friends and family of Ronnie Lee Stone, of Maxton, NC. A wild and crazy guy, Ronnie used to work for my Mom and Step-Dad at the lawn mower shop for several years. He was truly one of a kind and an honor to know. You are missed Sir. Rest in Peace, my friend.

And now, let’s proceed with Day 1 of this soon to be epic blog series. What are the topics? Let’s go to the “Magic Bag” and find out . First, we have “Snowflakes”. Next will be “Dream Home”. And finally, we have “Rock Super Group”. I can already see the first one getting me in trouble. The other two are kind of harmless, but I’ll still do my best to have some fun with them. Are you ready? I said, “ARE YOU READY?”. Yes, I’m stealing DX catch-phrases to add some filler to my blog and hopefully stimulate some excitement and anticipation for you, the readers. So are you ready? I’m ready. Let’s go.

Dream Home…

So what would my dream home be like? I’ve always thought that I would love the idea of living in a large and stately home, kind of like what Bruce Wayne (Batman) has with Wayne Manor or maybe the new house of Collinwood in the Dark Shadows series. That would be awesome and amazing and all sorts of incredible for me. But then reality hits and a few harsh facts come to mind. A big and huge house with thirty or forty rooms would be hard to keep up and maintain without a full staff of servants and hired help and honestly, I’m too much of a loner and anti-social person to want to have people in my house all the time cooking, cleaning, etc. It’s a nice idea in theory, but in reality, it would annoy me to no end. So a big house with dozens of rooms is cool, but only for maybe the occasional vacation or short periods of time only. So give me instead a condo or apartment. I would like two stories at least, at least three bedrooms, one for me and the other two for the occasional guests. I would need a nice library / office and a “media room” where I would have TV, stereo and maybe some old-school video games. Find me a Ms. Pac Man machine, a pinball machine (Addams Family) and plenty of storage room for my cassettes, CD’s and albums. I have a lot of them and would love to have a room just to be able to enjoy my forty-plus year collection of music. At least two bathrooms are necessary, with one for me and one for guests. A big kitchen with lots of counter space and room to cook is necessary as well. And plenty of places for my cat (or cats) to enjoy and be happy. Nothing fancy because why go crazy with a home when you only live in two or three rooms of it anyways. So a Condo with lots of room for me to be creative and live my life and that’s all I need.

Rock Super Group…

So how do I do this one? Do I pick out a group that is or was already established and just talk about them? If that’s the case, just say “Queen” and we have a rock super group ready made. Even with the passing of Freddie Mercury so many years ago, the addition of Adam Lambert as the new front man for Queen has assured us that they and their music will live forever. They are indeed the premiere rock band and super in every way, shape or form.

But most likely, when this topic was added to the Magic Bag, the idea was who would I select if I was to put together a band of established musical stars to form a group and make music together, be it for an album, a single or even just one appearance. Who would I want to be part of my own personal “super group” of rock & roll? So let’s figure out what we need. A singer or two. A drummer. A bass player. A guitarist or two. And a piano player. That covers the basics of any rock & roll band. And the singers and other band members should be able to write music and songs, but that’s not really part of this question and not a major factor in making my selections. So who would be in my group?

I’d want two singers, preferably a male and a female, who can both carry a tune, have unique and strong singing ablities and are able to work together with great energy and talent. I’d go with Evan Dando (The Lemonheads) and Hillary Scott (Lady Antebellum) as my singers. For my guitarists, I’d put Dweezil Zappa & Jeff Beck as my two lead guys. For my bassist, it’s Michael Anthony, formerly of Van Halen. My drummer would be Tommy Lee (of Motley Crue). Playing the piano would be Steve Grand. And writing songs and producing the music for this group would be Alice Cooper, Justin Timberlake and Rick Rubin. And there you go on that one. It’d be a strange contrast of styles and genres, but the talent these amazing souls all possess, I think they would find a way to come together and totally rock out any show or song that they came up with. It would be, as the Miz would say, AWESOME!

And finally…

Snowflakes…

So what is a snowflake? It’s a flake of snow that falls from the sky. No two look alike. Did you know that? What? Did you think I was going to get all political and talk about the modern definition of “snowflake”? Would I do that? Would I talk about the whiney stupid little idiots who have taken over our college campuses and take to the streets whining and crying because life isn’t fair and they don’t always get their way? Would I talk about the people who are such strong defenders of free speech, but it has to agree with what they think, can’t offend anyone, can’t hurt feelings or can’t different from their pack mentality because if it is, then you’re wrong, you’re evil, you’re racist, etc. Would I talk about the people who can’t handle rejection or oppression and have to retreat to their “safe spaces” when confronted by someone or something that doesn’t bow down to their every wish and desire? Would I talk about the people who want free health care, free education, higher wages, etc, but don’t want to work for or earn any of this. They have no idea how to pay for stuff or how to take personal responsibility or suck it up and handle things, instead choosing to always place the blame for anything they don’t like or anything that goes wrong on someone else, who’s probably racist by the way. Would I talk about these foolish children with the common sense of an earthworm? No, I would NEVER do that.

It doesn’t bother me that they find classic songs that have been around for fifty plus years “offensive” and demand that they not be played on the radio anymore, but at the same time, listen to rap songs about guys and their “bitches” and slapping the ho’s around and literally killing people. It doesn’t bother me that they want to ban a show like “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” or “Rudolph the Red Noses Reindeer” for being racist and advocating bullying, but at the same time, support groups like Antifa and Black Lives Matter, which are racist and bully people. Just because these people are total hypocrites with almost every move they make and every word they speak, I don’t care. I will never, ever talk about those people and the “snowflake” title they have earned and wear so bitterly. Those people, these “snowflakes” are jokes and clowns and as Chris Jericho would say, “Stupid Idiots”. They’re not worth talking about.

Snowflakes. It’s fat water falling from the sky when it’s cold. And that’s all I have to say about that.

And there you go. And this brings to an end, Day 1 of 12. Only eleven more to go and it’s going to be a hoot. Thoughts, comments and any questions are welcome and appreciated. If you have any suggestions or ideas as to future topics for me to write about, drop me a line and let me know. And now, it’s late and I have to be up early so let’s put this baby to bed so I can go to bed. Have a great one and I’ll catch you later on with a Wrestling Q&A and of course, Day 2 coming up tomorrow. Look for it.

Ubuntu!

@00 1 1 12 Days 2

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