5 Questions (X2): Pot, Songs, Bucket List & Much More…

Tossing Salt Presents:
5 Questions (x2)
Legalizing Pot, Songs, Bucket List & More
March 31, 2019
DougMaynard.com

My dear sweet close personal friend, Lauren, sent me a bunch of random questions,mainly because I asked her to send me a bunch of random questions to use for my “5 Questions” piece. It’s for “5 Questions” so she sent me ten questions to pick and choose from. I choose all of them. Thank you to Lauren. And now, let’s get busy and do this. It’s a double-sized edition of “5 Questions”. And the capital of “i” is “I”. Let’s do this…

5 Questions (X2) (courtesy of Lauren).

If you were hiring an assistant, what would you look for as qualifications?

What would I even need an assistant for? Maybe if I went full time on the writing, actually did more than Q&A’s and expanded the site to a full scale news and info site about the world’s greatest sport, then it might make sense, especially if I kept my volunteer job and kept my job at the ABC as well, but right now, even though I have a full schedule, if I manage my time properly, stay off of YouTube and give up booty calls with strange men, I could easily manage and handle it all and even find time to get back to writing and even maybe finishing some of my fics. But this question asks if I was to look for an assistant, what would be the necessary qualifications? A dark and twisted sense of humor, a sharp intelligent mind, self-motivation to get things done without having to be told what to do, a love of cats and preferably a nice male butt that I can look at and lust over on occasion. I wouldn’t mess with my assistant because that would be wrong and a bad thing to do, unless we’re both drunk and they sign an N.D.A., but I want a good looking man to look at and enjoy the sights of… for inspiration of course. And I guess that’s it.

Favorite kind of sub sandwhich?

I’m not a big sub guy, but there are some guys at Subway I’d like to sample their $5 foot-long for a couple of hours. I actually doubt they have a foot-long, but 6″ is fine and I get to sample twice. Works for me. How about a meatball sub. I like meatballs. Or a simple Ham & Cheese is really good too.

Should pot be legalized?

Nope and the reason I say this is that it stinks. If people want to be idiots and kill their brain cells smoking pot, so be it. That’s their thing and more power to them. Hell, I used to like to drink and that’s not any better so who am I to judge. But pot stinks and it clings to people worse than cigarettes. And I hate having to smell it. I smell it on my customers at least fifteen times a day and the smell lingers long after they’re gone and it’s repulsive and makes me want to puke my guts out. Being illegal sure as hell hasn’t stopped anyone from smoking it and they’re not even discreet about it. If smoking grass was to be legalized, it should be regulated like alcohol, taxed like alcohol and if you’re smoking and driving or smoking in public, just like drinking and driving or drinking in public, people should be ticketed, fined and even arrested depending on the circumstances. I hate the smell of it and think that it’s worse than alcohol in impairing judgement and making people into stupid idiots. Eventually, it will be legalized though. That’s pretty obvious. I just hope that the powers-that-be realize that they’ll be opening Pandora’s box when that happens. It’s not going to work out as everyone thinks and will cause more problems than it solves. Mark my words.

What is something that you consider unforgivable?

Rape, hurting a child and hurting an animal are the three unforgivable sins in my book. With everything else, there can be circumstances and it may be on a case by case situation as to how justified the situation may be, but to forcibly sexually assault anyone, hurt a child or hurt an animal, there are no reasons good enough. None!

Current favorite new song?

Two new songs by Struggle Jennings are my current favorites. One is called “Ace In The Hole” and has Struggle, his daughter, his mother and his Grandma (who just happens to be the legendary Jessi Colter) all singing together in a beautiful song. And the other, also by Struggle and his daughter, is called “Bad Company”. Both are on my current list of favorite songs and YouTube videos and both are getting replayed quite often.

What’s the best thing currently in your life?

That I have a creative outlet to keep me motivated and relatively sane and that I have dreams and goals and know that things will eventually get better and that happiness is out there. I don’t think that’s the answer this question was asking for. So the best thing in my life? My cat, Goldie. When I have no one else, I do have her and she depends on me and needs me. That keeps me going on.

What’s the worst thing currently about your life?

I’m lonely, I’m depressed 80% of the time, don’t have anyone I can just be with and relax with without cost, either literally or metaphorically. I am not alive. I’m just going through the motions and if I didn’t have responsibilities to my family, my jobs, etc, I’d be just as content to end it all as keep going. Happiness is elusive and a place and people who I can enjoy and be with with no strings attached, they are few and far between. I have issues and I’m working day by day to get past them and move on towards that light at the end of the tunnel. Some days, I make progress and things are actually not too bad and other days, I don’t know why I bother. I just do. Things were so much easier when I didn’t care and drank all the time. But that’s not me anymore. It’s a day to day struggle, sometimes hour to hour, but I just keep on keeping on. What else can I do?

Top three things on your “bucket list”?

Attend a live Broadway production in New York City, attend a live Wrestlemania, and get married to a great guy standing either on the beach or in the middle of a wrestling ring.

What song best describes your life?

“No Time For Tears” by Alice Cooper. A simple song written for and not used for the movie “Sexette” starring Mae West. It’s on Alice’s “Life & Crimes of Alice Cooper” box set and just a simple song, Alice at the piano and it’s one of my favorites. It really doesn’t describe my life though. For that, I think I’ll go with a David Allen Coe classic. “Need A Little Time Off (for Bad Behavior)”. Right now, I’m so keyed up and just ready to snap. If I could find a way to get away for a few days and just relax, drink too much, have a good one-night-stand, scream, yell and just cut loose, it would work miracles. Unfortunately, too many responsibilities and too many other things keep this from happening. But when Coe sings that “the devil in me done been asleep too long”, I know exactly what he’s saying.

What animal do you best relate to?

Cats. They’re moody, particular, demanding, yet aloof and unsure. Just like me.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Any comments, thoughts or questions, please feel free to give me a shout. But no trying to judge me. I know how bad some of these answers sound, but every single question I answer or topic I write about for this site, I try and answer as honestly as I can and in the case of these questions, I’m doing just that. It’s not all unicorns, jelly beans and pancakes around here all the time. I admit it. I have issues. I admit that too. But I’m just a man and I’m getting by as best I can and doing the things I can to keep on keeping on and keep passing the open windows. And if reading this stuff and letting people know that they’re not alone and that others have issues and anxiety and depression and all of the other curves that life likes to throw at us and are still going, maybe they can too. I’m not a role model by any means. I’m just a man and each day is a new struggle, a new battle and some days are easier than others, but I won’t lose or give in. I don’t always win, but I’m not going to lose. And no one else should have to either. But enough of this for now. I’m rambling and I’d rather just close this up and go have breakfast. Have a great day and stay safe. I loves ya!

Ubuntu!

@00 1 1 10 a a afive

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