5 Questions: Comedy, Smoking Age & More…

Tossing Salt Presents:
5 Questions
Comedy. Smoking Age & More
May 23, 2019
DougMaynard.com

Everyone has questions and this is the place where I have the answers, to five of them at a time. These come from Jesse and Mandy. And the answers come from the mind that is mine. Let’s do this…

Who would be on your Mt. Rushmore of Comedy?

Four comedy legends who set the bar for every comic that’s followed since. This one is not hard. It would be George Carlin, Joan Rivers, ERodney Dangerfield and Bill Cosby. And for anyone who has an issue with Cosby, look at the material from over the past forty years. Forget the man’s character and go on talent / comedy alone and there is no way this man can be ignored or forgotten.

There is a bill in Congress that would raise the age for buying all tobacco products to 21. Thoughts?

Let me start by saying that I hate smoking. It stinks, it’s bad for you, it stinks and to be brutally honest, it looks stupid. But how can the Federal government say that a person can join the military, get married without any consent, buy a gun, run for office, vote and be regarded as an adult in all and every manner, but can’t smoke a cigarette, vape or chew tobacco if they choose to. I get why they want to do this. It’s one of those “for the person’s own good” type of laws because smoking is bad for a person’s health, stinks and looks stupid, but a person of legal age of becoming an adult, age 18, should be able to make their own decision about using tobacco products and smoking. It’s not the Government’s place to tell an adult that they can’t smoke or vape if they want to. It’s just not right.

Would you rather live in a city under the ocean or a colony on the moon?

If you’re living under the ocean and something goes wrong, there is a chance that people can get to you and help out, saving you. If you’re in space and something goes wrong, you’re pretty much screwed. I like water better than space anyways so it’s life in Atlantis or some place like it for me.

If you had to perform in front of a large audience, would you rather act, sing or give a speech?

I sure as hell can’t act so that’s a definite no for that one. Singing would be okay if I still had a voice because you could just zone out the crowd and pretend you’re in the shower or alone and get through it. A speech would be okay too, but to be honest, I’d much rather not do any of these things. I don’t like people. I don’t like talking. I don’t like crowds. And I don’t do public stuff… ever.

Would you like to host a family reunion?

For my actual blood family, probably not. I love ’em, but it probably would end up being a disaster. If I could have a “family reunion” of my surrogate families from over the years, the Showtime Pizza / St. Andrews crew, the Montclair Maffia, the Dairy Mart crowd, my Nic’s people, La Krew Familia, the Hasty crowd, a few school folks and one or two actual blood kin-folk and I’d be happy with that. And my Wilmington / CT bros too. They’re a must. All of my real peeps, past and present. Now THAT would be a reunion and party worth having.

If you were a guest on Fantasy Island, what would your fantasy be?

After punching Tattoo in the face for saying “De’ plane! De’ plane!” one too many times, I’d work out my deal with Mr. Rourke and be a wrestling promoter / booker for an operation that rivals WWE and I’d be the “Vince” with all the money and all the ideas and plans. And I would do well in that kind of role.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Any comments, thoughts or questions, please let me know and drop me a line. Until the next time, take care and have a great one. See you later.

Ubuntu!

@00 000001

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