A Day Of Dougie (Rapid Fire Edition) – Change, SCTV, Dalmatians & More

A Day Of Dougie
Rapid Fire Edition
Change, SCTV, Dalmatians & More
January 7, 2020
DougMaynard.com

Happy good morning and welcome to the Tuesday surprise. What’s the surprise? That I actually feel pretty good this morning and am here at the computer ready to do yet another Days of Dougie just for you. I added over a hundred new topics to the Magic Bag last night and now, I’m wide awake far too early and ready to remove about ten or so. What? That sounds like a rapid fire edition of the DOD. And yes, it is. Rather than just draw out three topics, I’ll go for the gusto and pull out many many more. Pick a topic from the bag, write the first thing that comes to mind and then move on. It’s not all that deep and insightful, unlike your boyfriend who likes it way deep if you catch my drift, but it’s fun, again like your boyfriend. Oops! Sorry, my inner perv is peeking out. Let me tuck him away and get ready to get busy. So are you ready? Let’s do this…

Change…

There are plenty of things in my life that I need to change and I would be so much better off. My only problem is that I hate change. I like to know what to expect and how to react. Change scares me and throws me off my game. So it’s damned if I do and damned if I don’t. Well damn!

SCTV…

A late night skit comedy show from the 80’s that was kind of like a Canadian version of Saturday Night Live except for this show was actually funny. It wasn’t MAD TV funny, but it was Bob & Doug McKenzie funny. John Candy got his start on this show and I think Dana Carvey did too, but I can’t remember that for sure. Good show with some good memories. It makes me want a beer.

Newspapers…

I used to read them religiously and hell, I even used to deliver them for a time. They used to be a great source of information and real news without the spin and bias that the television networks have gotten so bad at as of late. Emphasis on “used to be” though because now, they’re just as bad if not worse. I might occasionally glance at them now for Crime Reports, Obituaries and Horoscopes, but the thrill is gone and so is the passion they once held.

Old Hippies….

A song made popular by the Bellamy Brothers which tackled the subjects of the old folks who don’t quite get that they’re old and still trying to live in the past. Unfortunately, it doesn’t really work too well that way for most people and time changes everything. The past is a nice place to visit, but the future is where things are going and where we need to be. ‘Nuff said!

Dalmatians…

The dogs that firemen used to have hanging around the firehouse. Beautiful animals, but unfortunately, they’re prone to medical issues, shed very badly and have nervous conditions. But on the bright side, I saw a movie once about 101 of them and they make great coats.

Red & Green…

The colors of Christmas. Also blood money if you want to get all technical about it, but I’ll go with the Christmas option. After all, what’s better than a fat man stalking you all year and then breaking into your house and unloading his sack? Nothing that I can think of.

Cakes…

I remember the Junkyard Dog, former WWE Superstar and somewhat lousy wrestler who was a sore loser and nailed Harley Race with a chair after losing a clean pin to “The King”, yes that still pisses me off, had a song about cakes called “Grab Them Cakes”. It was on the “Wrestling Album” back in the late 80’s. From the looks of JYD, he liked to grab them cakes and didn’t miss too many meals or share. I like cakes too though so who can blame him? I like red velvet cakes. They’re good.

Fine And You…

A very common response from customers who obviously don’t give a damn when you inquire as to how they’re doing or attempt to make conversation. It’s just a nasal sounding and very indifferent “fine and you” as they stare off into the distance, probably thinking about the next bottle of gin they’re going to swig down. It’s annoying as hell and almost as bad as “I know that’s right” and “Let me hold something!”. People annoy me.

Cold War…

It’s when two people or countries or whatever don’t like each other and do things to purposely piss the other off, but always stop short of actually fighting or coming to blows. It was Russia and America in the 60’s and 70’s. It’s the producers of South Park and Family Guy. It’s rappers and musicians who actually have talent, ability and can play and write music and songs. It’s Shooter and Jason Aldean. It’s me and midgets. Or maybe it’s just fighting when the temperature has fallen below 30 degrees. That’s a real cold war.

Systems Down…

It means that the system don’t work no more and the people who work the system are taking a break. When our registers at work go down, we just say the system is down and take a break. That’s how it should be. I hope the system goes down today. I need a nap.

And finally…

Comet…

It’s in a green can and will clean anything with a gritty powder that smells rough, but has the reputation of being tough and getting the job done. I think that was also the name of one of Santa’s reindeer. The one with the red nose (not Rudolph), that drank cheap liquor all the time and was a triple crown winner in the Reindeer Games. Actually, wasn’t Comet one of Rudolph’s parents? Don’t know and don’t care, but I think he, she or it was.

And that’s all for today. My thanks for reading. Any comments, thoughts or questions, drop me a line and let’s talk. Until the next time, take care and have a great one and remember that every day can be a “Day of Dougie” if you’re lucky. See you at the matches.

Ubuntu!

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