A Day Of Dougie: Essential, Tiger King & Hideous…

Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day Of Dougie
Essential, Tiger King & Hideous
March 30, 2020
DougMaynard.com

Welcome to Day 1 of the big state lockdown where all of North Carolina will be required to stay home. Unless you’re ‘essential’ of course. Luckily for me, both of my jobs fall into that category. I work at the liquor store and as the government was smart enough to realize, there is no way that the people of this state are going to be stuck at home, enjoying the company of their family without a few bottles stashed to help them through. It could happen, but it wouldn’t be a pleasant sight. Domestic violence, arguments, shot-to-hell nerves, etc, would all be running rampant and riots would ensue. Best to allow the masses a little something-something to help ease the tension and make things run a little smoother.

And my other job is working at the Food Bank. We feed people. That is a pretty important thing as well and thus, it continues too. So no break for me, but life goes on as usual. I just can’t be driving around randomly all over the county. Luckily for me, my home, the Food Bank, work, Food Lion where I shop, my bro-son and the family, and my favorite booty-call are all within a four-mile radius. With one exception, a Doctor’s appointment on Thursday in Pinehurst, I’ve got this covered.

I just hope that everyone else is managing okay and does well too. Listen to the man, my Peeps. Don’t go out unless absolutely necessary (work, groceries, family, booty) and wash those hands. Sanitize. Spray that Lysol and if anyone coughs at you or sneezes, bust them in the face. Okay, forget that last part. Love thy neighbor, but do it from a distance and don’t punch them. Just break out in song and sing that Baby Shark song, just for two seconds. It’ll be stuck in their heads for the next six weeks and their life will be a living hell, far more effective than a simple punch. But the bottom line here is everyone should be careful, be as safe as possible and let’s get through this as best we can.

So now, back to the reason I’m here and this is that today is a Day of Dougie Day. Hell, every day is a Day of Dougie, but today, I’m going to write about it. Or something. I want to get something up for the site that isn’t wrestling or a Q&A and some random topics from the Magic Bag always seem to fit the bill. I spoke on being essential a moment ago so that’s covered. And come by the ABC. As of this moment, 7:26 AM, we’re open from 10:00 – 8:00, business as usual. Come see us and stock up. Don’t believe what you see on Facebook unless you’re seeing it from me or one of the other four employees that actually work at the store. Facebook lies… a lot.

Now, what was I saying? The Magic Bag? Do I even need it? I’ve already got another topic in mind and that’s the documentary on Netflix about Joe Exotic called “Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem, and Madness”. I started watching it yesterday after seeing all these memes pop up on Facebook and it’s a fascinating series thus far. I’m only on Episode 4 and I am hooked. The entire cast of characters, from Joe Exotic and his tigers and two husbands to his rival and bitter foe, Carole Baskin and her vanished, millionaire husband and so many others. It’s a train wreck to be sure, but it’s impossible to turn away. I plan on doing a full review once I finish watching the series, but for now, all I can say is go to Netflix and watch it if you get the chance. It is just… wow!

And now, let’s go to the Magic Bag and get at least one final topic to discuss before I have to go finish getting ready for work. And that is, drum roll please, “Hideous”.

Okay, this one works because there’s a story behind the word and ironically enough, the person who the story is about, I saw him this past weekend at the ABC store. Many years ago, when I was working at Nic’s Pic Kwik here in Laurinburg, I had an encounter with a young man. He was a customer at the store and he came into the store and got something. I can’t remember what, but that’s not important to the story. He came into the store, I waited on him and he left. No biggie. An hour or so later, he was back and bought something else. I waited on him again and he made his purchase and left. Again, no big deal. Later that night, he was back for the third time of the day, to get some food. Nic’s had (and still has) the best fried chicken and potato wedges (we call them Taters) in North Carolina. As I fixed his order and waited on him again, he made a comment, smiling a bit as he said it. “I’ll bet you’re tired of seeing this hideous face again.” And without thinking twice or missing a beat, I replied, “I kind of like that hideous face”. And we both laughed and that was it. A few days later, we became friends on Facebook and are friends to this day. He’s still sexy as hell and cute and if the opportunity ever came up, he knows that I’d be all over him like white on rice, but alas, it hasn’t happened. We talk and I make a lot of innuendo-laced comments, but we decided long ago that it’s better to be friends than just a one-night stand. He’s straight and I respect that. But still sexy. Damn!

And there you go. I think that’s enough and I have to go finish getting for work. My thanks for reading. Any comments, thoughts, or questions about anything, feel free and drop me a line. Follow me on Twitter at @Doug28352. And go check out that documentary about Joe Exotic. You’ll be glad you did. Until the next time, stay safe and be good. And remember that today and every day is always a Day of Dougie.

Ubuntu!

@00 69

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