Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Casper
June 4, 2020
DougMaynard.com

One of the more interesting people that I follow on Twitter is a man named Tyler (The Ghost) Casper. (@tyler_casper) Check him out and give the man some love and a follow. Now, what was I saying? Oh yeah, he asks a lot of questions. And the regular readers of this site know how I am about questions, right? So I went down his Twitter feed and copied 28 of the most recently asked questions. And now, for your reading pleasure (and because of the great response I got the last time I did this), it’s time to provide a few answers. So are you ready? Let’s do this…

Have you ever canned anything?

I do remember a couple of times when I was very small standing in the kitchen annoying my Grandma Vick while she was canning preserves and peaches and the like. I wasn’t helping so much as just being an annoying kid, but she let me hand her stuff and said I was a “big help”. Obviously, she was lying to make me happy, but she was pretty awesome and I had fun so it’s all good.  

What are your feelings about Nutella?

I’ve never tried it even though I have seen the jars in the grocery store. It just doesn’t sound right to me.

Do you like sardines?

They stink and look nasty. They are disgusting. So the answer would be a big, unequivocal “No!”

Do you like pickled herring?

Again, I’ve never tried it nor do I have any plans to ever try it. Herring is a fish and unless it’s on a plate from Captain D’s., I don’t do fish. Bleh!

How many times a day do you brush your teeth?

At least twice, usually three times and if I eat something with a strong flavor or taste, I’ll do it then as well. As many times as necessary to keep a fresh mouth.

What is your favorite type of wood?

Morning wood from your boyfriend. Or was that your husband? Oops. Wrong kind of wood. My bad! I’ll go with oak.

Do you have bears where you live?

I hope so. I like a man with lots of body hair. Woof!

What is your favorite type of rock?

Dwayne Johnson.

What is your favorite brand of premade pizza?

Probably Red Baron. They’re cheap, taste okay and with a few additional toppings from the fridge to kick things up a bit, they’re pretty damn good!

What was the last thing you said in the heat of the moment that you wish you could take back?

I think I told Danny “I love you” once. It was during sex. He’s a total piece of shit though and the coitus was the only good thing about him. I’ve always regretted saying that. Loved the sex though.

Have you ever had wood-fired pizza?

There was a place in Raleigh, NC when I was a kid called Jerry’s Wooden Nickle that served wood-fired pizza. It was owned by the parents of a classmate of mine and they delivered pizza to our classroom a couple of times that I remember. I went there once as a teenager too. Good food and great pizza. That was forty-five years ago though when I was in elementary school. Brentwood Elementary School to be exact. I don’t even know if the place is still in business now. I doubt it, but they had great pizza.

What is your favorite show from the ’60s?

Either the Addams Family, Batman, or The Andy Griffith Show.  

What do you consider “Roughing it”?

No AC and no shower when I wake up or before I go to bed. Yes, I am spoiled. I like to be cool and clean.

Why do spiders always build their webs across doorways or walkways that are heavily traveled?

Because they like people and want to be as social and interactive with humans as possible.  

What was the last lecture you had to sit through about?

I’m not sure. Probably one of my Mom’s “this person should do this” monologues. It could be about a family member, a person on the news, someone she saw uptown, or just about anyone. She gets on a roll and after the first ten seconds, I go into Charlie Brown mode and only hear, “Wawawa wawawa wawa.”  

Have you ever been on a cruise ship?

No, but I have watched many episodes of The Love Boat back when it was on television. I wanted to be Gopher.  

Have you ever been on a sailboat?

No, I don’t think I have. Rowboats, canoes, and old beat-up fishing boats are the extent of my boating experiences.  

What is your favorite thing to listen to during dinner?

It all depends on my mood at the time, but generally, if I’m eating a real meal for a change and want some background noise, I’ll go to YouTube and find some dark jazz or gothic styled sounds to listen to.

What is your favorite rock song?

Almost any song that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson sings is good with me. But seriously, my “favorite” changes from day to day depending upon my mood and environment. I’m sure that anything by Alice Cooper would qualify though.

What is your favorite radio station?

Does anyone even really listen to the radio anymore? I do really like this one station though from Cincinnati. The call letters are WKRP.

What is your favorite country song?

It varies, depending upon my mood and situation, but I can assure you that if Waylon, Jessi Colter, David Allen Coe, or Hank Jr. are singing it, I’ll probably like it.

Scented or unscented pit stick?

I had to look it up to see what a “pit stick” actually was. I had some ideas, but a few of them were extremely warped and maybe even a bit disgusting and I wanted to make sure I wasn’t getting the wrong idea. I like hairy pits and the scent of a real man sometimes, but deodorant that is too strong or over-powering is a big turn off. And it tastes awful too. Unscented for me.

Can you pick up things with your toes?

Unlike my bro, who has long toes and can use them as additional fingers when desired, I have stubby toes. I can grab a sock or something small, but no do much more than that.  

Why do young people try to look older and older people try to look younger?

Because young people feel that looking older will get them more respect and taken more seriously by adults and older people. And old people try to look younger because being old sucks and they want no part of it.

What is something that you wouldn’t do for money?

Hurt a child, hurt my family, or kill anyone. Anything else though, all bets are off.  

What is something out of the ordinary that you would do for money?

I have an open mind and an adventurous spirit so show me the money and nothing, aside from what I mentioned in the last question, is off-topic for discussion.  

Have you ever had a near-death experience?

I’ve worked in retail and with the public for over thirty-five years. What do you think?

What do you think is the creepiest insect in the world?

Some people call them Spider-Crickets. I call them the Spawn of Satan, the Democrats of the Insect World, and just plain freakin’ evil! And they are vile, disgusting, creepy, and just plain bad annoying.

And there you go. Any comments, thoughts, or questions to ask about what you just finished reading or anything at all, just drop me a line here at the site, at my e-mail of Doug28352@yahoo.com, or on Twitter at @Doug28352. Follow me. I do follow back. And now, I’m out of here. I have some errands to run, places to go, people to see, and most likely people to piss off. I do that sometimes. Until the next time, thank you for reading, and thank you for your support of the site. Take care and I’ll see you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!

Casper6

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.