Questions By Casper XV…

Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Casper XV
July 5, 2020
DougMaynard.com

One of the more interesting people that I follow on Twitter is a man named Tyler (The Ghost) Casper. (@tyler_casper) Check him out and give the man some love and a follow. Now, what was I saying? Oh yeah, he asks a lot of questions. And the regular readers of this site know how I am about questions, right? So I went down his Twitter feed and copied several of the most recently asked questions. And now, for your reading pleasure, it’s time to provide a few answers. So are you ready? Let’s do this…

What is the most comfortable pair of shoes you’ve ever owned?

That I’ve ever owned? I don’t remember for sure, but I’m thinking of a pair of Crocs, the real deal, back around 2012 or so. Gold colored and ugly as hell, but they were so comfy at the same time. The then love-of-my-life turned nightmare and shit-stain ended up taking them over and wearing them.

Can you ever have too many knives?

Not if you want to cut a mother-f*cker, there are never too many knives to slice and dice a biatch!

Did you know that they make scented toilet paper holders?

I have seen them in Wal-Mart so I was aware of their existence, yes.

Can you tread water?

My parents made sure that I took swimming lessons when I was three-four years old, so that would be a definite yes. I love to swim.

Do you know how to swim?

See the previous question and my answer to that one. Hell to the yeah.

Have you ever made a working model volcano?

No, I haven’t, but my brother did when he was twelve years old for school. I was nine and “assisted”, aka kept getting in the way, so I’ve been part of the experience. It was cool.

Do you have a pair of cheaters (glasses for reading)?

We have at least one pair in every room of the house, but I don’t bother with them anymore. I have the real deal, my own pair of glasses, that I have to wear so I can see.

Do you like your name?

It’s okay. I’ve gotten used to it and even used it to name this website. It’s my brand if you will.

Do you like the sound of your voice?

Not really, The voice is okay, but I talk too country, too fast, and with a distinct southern twang.

Are you happy with the way you look?

I’m fat and that’s not cool. I need to lose weight. But I’m now and forever a sexy beast so I won’t complain.

Have you ever had your palm read?

There was a girl at St. Andrews University back in the day who claimed to know how to read palms. She was from Germany or Switzerland or somewhere in Europe. I can’t remember for sure. During our times drinking at the college (pretty much every weekend), she would read palms as a party trick. I think she was full of crap, but it was fun and created some interesting memories.

Have you ever had your aura read?

This is something I have never done but would be very interested in giving it a try someday.

Who wears the pants in your house?

We all wear pants. They’re more uncomfortable and I look like shit in a dress.

Who does the dishes in your household?

Whoever dirties the dishes gets to clean up their own mess. Or I do if I get annoyed or irritated by seeing dishes in the sink.

Do you go to bed at the same time as your spouse? (If you’re married)?

Not married, but I always go to bed when I’m tired. Not because any other person is ready to go to bed.

What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever smelt that reminded you of food?

This is an odd question. A smell that is not food that reminds me of food. And not a normal smell, but an odd and weird smell at that? How do I answer? Walking in the woods and smelling honeysuckles is what comes to mind, but they actually contain honey and that’s food so it can’t be used as the answer. How about a bonfire which smells like smoke and reminds me of cooking on the grill. And cooking on the grill? That reminds me of steak and hamburgers. So there you go.

Are you any good at jumping rope?

My fat ass and two bad feet? I’m not jumping anything, much less a rope.

When was the last time you woke up on the wrong side of the bed?

My bed is positioned in a corner of a small room so I only have one way to get up. As for the “wrong side”, anytime I have to get up and don’t want to, it’s starting off on the wrong side.

Can you hula hoop?

Nope. Too fat for that.

What is something that would be a dream come true?

Finding Mr. Right, being happy, being able to turn this writing stuff into a sustainable career that can pay my bills and provide a comfortable lifestyle, and getting a chance to go to Wrestlemania.

How long does it take you to hang a picture?

As long as it takes.

Have you ever played Dungeons and Dragons?

I did give it a shot once or twice back in the early ’80s, but didn’t get into it and found it more annoying than entertaining. I liked the guidebooks and used them as information references when writing fan fiction stories, but playing the actual game, it just wasn’t for me.

How do you feel about sleeping on a cot?

If I’m tired enough, I can sleep anywhere.

Have you ever had a sandbox?

Of course. Where else would I bury the bodies?

Have you ever slept on a boat?

Not to the best of my recollection.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Any comments, thoughts, or questions you’d like to ask, drop me a line. Use the comment box below, my e-mail at Doug28352@yahoo.com, or on Twitter at @Doug28352. Until the next time, take care of yourself and stay safe in this mad and crazy world. I’ll see you at the matches.

Ubuntu!

@00002

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