Questions By Casper XXX…

Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Casper XXX
August 13, 2020
DougMaynard.com

Over in the world of Twitter, I found a man that likes to ask questions. And I do mean a lot of them. His name is Tyler “The Ghost” Casper and he’s at @tyler_casper. A good guy that you should go check out. Now, as I was saying, he likes to ask questions. I like to answer them and it provides content for the site. So here we are. Every few days, I go down his feed and copy the inquiries he’s asked. And then it’s here for the answers. It’s insightful, thought-provoking, and hopefully entertaining for you, the reader, as well. So let’s can the chit chat and let’s do this. Are you ready? And away we go…

Has any relative of yours been wanted by the police?

Most likely, but I promise you that they were framed. The videos were doctored and the witnesses are liars, even the station wagon full of Nuns. I and my family are all absolute angels who would never, ever break the law in any fashion or do anything bad. Ever!

Do you wash your hands after going to the bathroom every time?

I wash or I hit the hand sanitizer thingy on the wall and get a dash of the cleansing lotion on my hands. So yeah, that would be a yes.

How long do you wash your hands?

I don’t keep a timer on my deeds, but ten to fifteen seconds at least.

Have you ever played “Spin The Bottle”?

No, I have not. Why? Do you want to play? Go gather all your sexy male friends and come on over then. Let’s do it.

When was the last time you played “Truth or Dare”?

It’s been a couple of years at least. No one wants to play with me because I don’t lie and I don’t bluff. Dare me and get prepared. It will be done, especially if you’re a cute guy.

What would be your dream home?

Custom made with a big kitchen and lots of counter space, some spacious bedrooms, and a big library. Hell, just give me Collinwood Mansion (from Dark Shadows) or stately Wayne Manor (from Batman) and I’ll be happy.

What was the last show you binge-watched?

“F Is For Family” on Netflix. My coworker, Maria, told me about it and I had to check it out. It’s good.

Are you living your life to the fullest?

Nope. I need changes (and money). A good man too.

What is the neatest historical fact you know?

Joan Rivers was the first woman to host a late-night talk show on Network television.  

Do you ever show up to people’s houses unannounced?

Nope. I call first or text or both before showing up. Doing it unannounced is just plain rude.

What do you do when people show up unannounced?

I either see what they want or just ignore them and go back to sleep, depending upon my mood.

What was the last meal you had that was made in a Crock-Pot?

It was a roast, complete with potatoes, onions, cabbage, mixed veggies, and Cream of Celery street. And it was delicious.

Do you daydream often?

All the time. It’s the faint bit of hope that keeps me sane and able to continue.

What is your go-to way to try and cure the hiccups?

Take a drink of water/Dew and a deep breath. It usually works.

Do you know what DIY stands for?

The technical definition is “Do It Yourself”, but I think a better meaning is “Dinosaurs Ingest Yams!”

Do you know what a PSA is?

Poor Sorry Ass? Purple Sores Agitated? Poop Smells Awful? Ok, maybe not. Public Service Announcement is the proper phrase.  

Do you know what FYI stands for?

Fuck Yo Insights! Free Your Insides? Famous Young Incas? Damn, what is this “For Your Information” acronym supposed to mean?

Do you know what an APB is?

All-Purpose Bulletin. I’m too tired to make a joke.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Any comments, thoughts, or questions to ask, feel free, and give me a shout. Until the next time, take care and stay safe. Watch out for the crazies. I’ll see you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!

Casper6

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