Questions By Casper #53…

Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Casper #53
October 30, 2020
DougMaynard.com

Over in the world of Twitter, I found a man that likes to ask questions. And I do mean a lot of them. His name is Tyler “The Ghost” Casper and he’s at @tyler_casper. A good guy that you should go check out. Now, as I was saying, he likes to ask questions. I like to answer them and it provides content for the site. So here we are. Every few days, I go down his feed and copy the inquiries he’s asked. And then it’s here for the answers. It’s insightful, thought-provoking, and hopefully entertaining for you, the reader, as well. So let’s can the chit chat and let’s do this. Are you ready? And away we go…

Do you dry clean any of your clothes?

Do I even have any clothes that would require dry-cleaning? Jeans? T-shirts? Polo shirts? Nope, no dry-cleaning required for me or my limited wardrobe.

Do you have a clothesline?

At the moment, no. We do have two poles up in the yard that is for using to hold a clothesline, but there is currently nothing there so far as an actual line at the moment.

Have you ever been on a yacht?

No, I have not. I have been in a canoe though.

What was the last water park you were at?

I haven’t had that opportunity as of yet.

What kind of a sense of humor do you have?

Dark, deranged, twisted, juvenile, and sad.

Have you ever laughed so hard you literally fell on the ground?

I have caused people to laugh by falling down or tripping, but the laughing itself has never caused me to fall.

Do you prefer sandals or flip flops?

Neither actually. I like my feet to be covered and encased in a full shoe, not one where everything is hanging out.

What is something you’d never go as for Halloween?

An exclamation point.

What is something you’d go as for Halloween?

A vampire, a zombie, a drag queen, or a bottle of Fireball whiskey.

What is your favorite kind of bread?

I like white bread. Does that make me racist?

Do you use any wooden utensils in your kitchen?

We have wooden spoons and I do occasionally use them for mixing.

Who is your favorite Blues singer?

A lovely lady by the name of Rickie Lee Jones.

If you’re married, are you and your spouse of the same religion?

I’m not married so this doesn’t apply to me, but if I was to get married one day, I’d prefer someone with an outlook of all things spiritual that is similar to mine.

Have you ever bought coffee and forgotten to drink it?

I don’t drink coffee. I have bought drinks of other kinds though and then forgotten to drink them until much later.

Have you ever made coffee and forgotten to drink it?

Again, I never drink… coffee.

Have you ever had a “Duh” moment?

At least one every hour on the hour. My entire life is a highlight reel of “Duh” moments.

Have you ever bought single-ply toilet paper in an attempt to save money?

If you’re broke, you shop Dollar Tree and get what you can, including the cheap butt-wipe paper.

Do you ever have visitors in your happy place?

Do you mean the back of the Blazer? It has happened a few times. But alas, my metaphoric happy place, where I’m relaxed, calm, and no one can hurt me and all is good with the world? That is a restricted area, no visitors allowed, and as of late, not even me.

Do you try to buy your produce sourced locally?

Nah, I buy the canned stuff… or bananas. They don’t grow them around here.

Who do you think God sides with? Liberals or Conservatives?

I can’t see God supporting the killing of babies or people claiming to be 1,428 genders so I’ll say more often than not, probably conservatives.

Do you prefer cold beer or room temp beer?

I like my beer ice-cold, at least to start.

Do you respond to text messages right away?

In my mind, absolutely. In reality, not as often as I should.

What is your favorite type of cookie?

Ginger snaps or the Keebler Fudge Stripes.

Do you prefer sweet or savory things to eat?

It depends on my mood, but I like sweet things far better than is probably good for me.

Have you ever served on a jury?

I have not. I was summoned once to serve on a Federal jury, but after I explained that I’d have to ask my then-probation officer permission to travel to that area (Greensboro) and participate, I was quickly excused. I wonder why?

Did you write your own vows?

Again, I have yet to be married, but if it ever does happen, I do fully intend to write my own vows. I am a writer after all and that’s what I do.

Have you ever had crocodile?

As a pet or as food? My answer to both questions would be the same. Nope.

Have you ever had Alligator?

As a pet, no, but I did try Alligator Jerky once. It was okay, but nothing special.

Have you ever had catfish?

Yes, I have. When I worked for Nics, we had fishplates for sell every Friday and we had catfish nuggets available as part of the menu as well. I tried them and didn’t much like them. I’m not a big fish person anyhow, but they just didn’t do much for me. My cat, Stinky, loved them though.

Have you ever had lutefisk?

Is that the fish that looks like a swollen penis? I don’t think so.

Have you ever dinned then dashed?

While visiting my friends up north a few years ago, we went to a restaurant and did the dine then dash thing. I was shocked and didn’t know they were planning to do that. I wasn’t happy about it either, but I went along with the crowd.

How do you feel about anchovies on a pizza?

Dead fish do NOT belong on Pizza or anywhere for that matter except for in the fish tanks at Wal-Mart in the pet center.

Have you ever added a pinch of salt to your coffee?

I already told you, I do not drink coffee.

Have you ever been buried in the sand?

While I’ve done many things in the sand, getting buried is not one of those things. Sand in the shorts and up the crack? Not a good thing.

Have you lost friends due to politics?

If my decision to vote for who I choose to vote for (Trump) causes someone to throw away our friendship, then it wasn’t true and I don’t need them in my life. Luckily, I only have a few who decided that politics mattered more than our relationship.

Have you ever made anything out of wood?

I’ve made signs, crosses, a small boat, etc.

How do you feel about goats milk?

If the goats like it, so be it, but I’m not drinking it. Bleh!

And I think that’s enough for now. My thanks to Casper for the great questions and to you for reading. Any comments, thoughts, questions, etc, give me a shout and we can talk. Until the next time, take care of yourself and watch out for the crazies. I’ll see you on the other side.

Ubuntu!

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