Tossing Salt Presents:
Flashback: Thirty Days of Dougie (2013)
Day 12: Cell Phones
Way back in 2013, only eight years ago but it seems like a lifetime, I did one of many “Days of Dougie” blog series. But the thing is, I didn’t have this site yet and did them on my Facebook in the “Notes” section. And now that they’re showing up in my memories on Facebook, I think it’s time to share them one more time. So here you go. For the next thirty days or so, along with the current and new stuff I post on the site, we have some flashbacks as well. You’re welcome. Now, as I once heard said in the movie “Young Guns”, “Regulators, let’s move out!”. It was something to that effect anyhow. Let’s do this.
Thirty Days of Dougie – Part 12: Cell Phones
And here we are again with yet another edition of “Thirty Days of Dougie”. I’m finally catching up with Part 12 of this epic struggle of a man and his rantings. Let’s reach into the magic box and see what topic of interest we come up with today. And the dialogue will be “cell phones”. Let’s do this…
Thirty Days of Dougie – Part 12: Cell Phones
January 13, 2013
Cell phones. One of the necessary evils of the world. I hate the damn things, but at the same time, I’m always sure to have mine with me and never leave home without it (although I rarely answer it, preferring to instead let the messages go to voice mail or just do the text thing instead.) But it seems as if everyone in the known universe and their mama, brother, sister, cousin, nephew, niece, dog, cat, neighbor, sworn enemies, baby daddy’s and the unborn fetus’s all have cellphones these days. Most kids get their first one about the same time they quit using the bottle and move to the sippy cup and then they don’t put them down again until they’re being lowered into the coffin at their “death by old age/syphilis” funeral procession. Am I implying that the world today is obsessed with cell phones? Damn skippy! And you know I’m right.
It wouldn’t be so bad if people would be more discreet about their cell phone use and not be screaming their conversations for all the world to hear or if maybe, people would put the phone down long enough to participate in the real world every so often and actually have human contact and face to face conversations. Oh my, what a novel idea! Actually talking to a real, live person in person rather than having to use that small mechanical device plastered to your hand and ear. Nah, that’s stupid. Who would want to actually do that? I’ve seen people in the same room, just mere feet from each other, do all their talking on their cell phone, via texting. That’s just plain annoying and rude. If they want to have a private conversation, go have that private conversation. Don’t sit there, typing on your little machine, oblivious to the world around you, just so you can talk to the person sitting next to you without actually talking to the person sitting next to you. What the… ??
Actually, you know why I hate cell phones so much? It’s not because they’re annoying (but they are). It’s not because they’re totally taken away any concept of “quiet time” or “getting away from it all” (though they have). It’s not even because it looks stupid to watch a person walking around talking to themselves like a crazy bag lady, only to realize that they have that little piece in their ears and are talking on their cell, totally oblivious to the world around them. No, it’s not any of those reasons, although any of them would be sufficient enough purpose to despise the little mechanical beasts.
None of that is the main reason I hate cell phones so much. What really grinds my gears (big shout out to Seth McFarlane and Peter Griffin) is that how stupid and rude people become when on their phones. At least 1/3 of the customers that come into the store where I work, if they’re not yelling across the store at their “boo”, or asking everyone for some money to pay that sales tax that they don’t think we should be charging because they don’t in “the city” or just being generally annoying. If they’re not doing one of those things, they’re yapping on that damn cell phone from the time they walk into the store until they walk back out. I don’t think most of ’em even pause for breath.
Listen. No one cares or gives a damn about what you’re planning on doing for the night, what kind of movie you want to see, what your “cuzzin” is up to, what the neighbors are up to or anything else. You’re screaming into the phone the entire time, just yacking away and annoying the hell out of everyone around you (except for the other cell-phonies – they’re too busy with their own pointless conversations.) I’m up there, doing my job supposed to be polite and wait on you, providing customer service and you get annoyed because I’m interrupting your conversation to ring up your items and collect your money because it’s interfering with your conversation about Beyonce’ and smoking weed. If I was to talk on the phone while waiting on you, you’d get mad and complain to the office or my boss, but these customers can do it all day and night long and it’s okay.
Put the phone down. Join the real world and forget about Aunt Jerri’s pecan pie and tater’ salad. Pay attention, talk to a real person, quit screaming to the voices in your head, and quit ruining my life. Cell-phonies. Yep, that’s the new catch-phrase and word of the day. I hate cell phones.
I would write more, but I’ve got to leave for work in six minutes (six minutes, six minutes, six minutes Dougie-Fresh and you’re on… on) – so I’m closing this up. I could rant and bitch about this all day. I despise a damn cell phone. (And by the way, K-Mak, text me tonight after work… lol).
I’m Doug and that’s all for now. Later.
PS: Go check out InfamousTV on the Facebook page. We need 100 likes or Keri dies. Just saying. Have a nice day!