Tossing Salt Presents:
One On One: Dream Matches
Part 2 – Tag Team Matches
April 16, 2021
Over at one of my Facebook groups, a poster by the name of JustinandJennyStevens made a great post about fantasy wrestling dream matches and listed several for comment. Twenty to be exact. Well, I’ve decided to take a look at all of the matches he included and give my own analysis and thoughts on each match and who I believe would win. Fantasy booking at its best, right? Just a little fun for this afternoon as I speculate on the greats of the past versus the stars of more recent times. Let’s do this.
This is the original post. “So this is across several promotions but my bro Bryant Hood and I put together these fantasy matchups. He did the singles group and I did the tag teams. What do yall think?” And now, here is what I think.
Singles were this morning and tag team matches, here you go.
Bradshaw & Farooq vs Legion Of Doom
What a rush it would be to see these four big men go back and forth in a wrestling ring. And what a rush it would be to see the men that I prefer to call the Road Warriors, for me the Legion of Doom are Lex Luthor and friends from the old Super Friends cartoons, give JBL a lesson in humility. Ron Simmons and The Road Warriors competed regularly against each other in WCW so they’re all cool. JBL though? He’d end up taking a Doomsday Device and getting pinned.
Winners: The Road Warriors, aka The Legion Of Doom.
FTR vs Rock N Roll Express
In their primes, the Rock & Roll Express was one of the best tag teams in wrestling history and they could hold their own against anyone. But FTR, formerly known as The Revival, are top guys who do top guy stuff. They are so damn good, I think even the late Gene Anderson would be impressed with their abilities and tag team prowess. The R&R Express are legends and true icons, but in this match, I think FTR has the edge and would take home the victory.
Steiners vs Beer Money
This one doesn’t require too much speculation or in-depth thought. James Storm and Robert Roode are a fantastic tag team, exciting to watch, and arguably one of the best teams in TNA history, but when it comes to facing Rick and Scott Steiner in their primes, all I can say is “Sorry about your damn luck!”.
Winners: The Steiners
The Wild Samoans vs Usos
The father and his brother against the sons. What a match this would be, with all in their primes and just for good measure, the legendary Captain Lou Albano at ringside screaming at the fans and referee as only he could do. It would be power, strength, and downright savagery against speed, striking blows, and teamwork and it would totally rock. Jimmy & Jey would take the victory here, but Dad and Uncle Use would make them earn it every step of the way.
Winners: The Usos
Fabulous Rougeaus vs New Age Outlaws
Oh, you didn’t know. The Fabulous Rougeaus asses would be calling somebody because this match goes to the Road Dogg and Mr. Ass every single time. And if you’re not down with that, I have two words for you.
Winners: The New Age Outlaws
Midnight Express (Eaton/Condrey) vs Money Inc
And here we have Loverboy Dennis and Beautiful Bobby, accompanied by Jim Cornette of course, against the Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase and Irwin R. Schyster, aka IRS. Damn, I still need to go do my taxes. Maybe after I finish this, I suppose. This match would be awesome. Money Inc has the size advantage, but Dennis & Bobby have the teamwork advantage, as well as Mr. Cornette at ringside. Didn’t they have Virgil too or was that just when DiBiase was working as a singles guy? I can’t remember. But I’ll give this one to the Midnight Express. Bobby Eaton is too damn good to ever lose.
Winners: The Midnight Express
Miracle Violence Connection vs Sheamus & Cesaro
I had to look up who the Miracle Violence Connection was and it turns out it’s Terry Bamm Bamm Gordy and Dr. Death Steve Williams. I’ve never heard that nickname used before. And here they would be facing off against The Bar, Sheamus & Cesaro. Damn this would be a stiff and brutal match. It would be amazing to see and all four men would be battered and bruised in the end. And I hate to say it, but I can’t pick a winner here. Both teams are so damn good and so tough, I can’t see either taking a fall or doing the job for this match. That being said, it’s coin-flip time. And the winners are…
Winners: Sheamus & Cesaro, aka The Bar
Wyatts (Braun, Harper & Rowan) vs Dudleyz (Bubba Ray, D-von & Big Dick)
Zowie wowie, what a match. And the Wyatt Family would take home the win. And there you go.
Winners: The Wyatt Family
Scott Hall & Kevin Nash vs Demolition
It’s the Outsiders taking on Ax & Smash, the team of Demolition. While this would be a good match and fun to see, the outcome wouldn’t be in much doubt in my eyes. Though Hall & Nash might have a behind-the-scenes political advantage, the former Masked Superstar and former Krusher Kruschev would have the definite advantage in the ring and as a team.
British Bulldogs vs Ole & Arn Anderson
If Ole was teaming with brother Gene, this match wouldn’t even be close in my opinion and the Andersons would win, but Ole and Arn, when they were teaming, were not quite the cohesive unit at that point and Arn was still relatively inexperienced compared to his veteran mentor. The British Bulldogs, Davey Boy Smith & Dynamite Kid, were a tag team machine and worked so well together, they would definitely have a strong advantage in this match. And they’d end up getting the win as well.
Winners: The British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith & Dynamite Kid)
And there you go. Those are my takes on who would win in each fantasy tag team encounter and why. Am I right? Am I wrong? Let’s hear your take in the comment box or via message. I want to know what you think. That, and any questions, comments, or other thoughts are welcome and appreciated. And with that, I bring this to an end. My thanks for reading. Until the next time, take care of yourself and stay safe. I’ll see you at the matches.