Tossing Salt Presents:
Ask Reddit:
The Truth And Nothing More
April 25, 2021
DougMaynard.com

As my regular readers know, I love to do Q&As and surveys. I have nothing to hide and feel that honesty is the best policy, most of the time anyhow, so if there’s a question to be answered, what the hell. I’ll do it. I was getting questions from a very cool dude on Twitter named Casper, but Twitter, being the anti-free speech dictators that they are, deleted this man and his account. Way too much truth and pro-Trump stuff. And just like that, my main source for cool and unique questions was gone. So my regular piece, “Questions By Casper” is now history. What is a man to do? Well, I’ve discovered Reddit. They ask a lot of questions. I think they generally suck and I know my bro-son thinks so as well, but I need questions so for now, here we go. Ten questions from the Reddit site. And the answers are from me. Are you ready? Let’s do this.

When did you realize that you don’t really have any friends?

What is a friend? I have acquaintances and I have people that I enjoy being around who seem to enjoy being around me. And I have people that have transcended friendship and are family of the heart, which says that no matter what life throws at us, they rock and we’re in this for the long haul. But friendship is just a label and a fake one at that. Most “friends” are what’s convenient at the moment, nothing more and nothing less. It doesn’t make them any less important at the moment, but when the end of the common interests, so does the friendship, becoming fondness and an acquaintanceship instead. It’s sad, but true. It’s life.

What kind of fake scenarios do you create in your head?

Meeting cute guys for hook-ups, discussions with people, finding a hundred million dollars in my bank account, etc. All the usual ones.

What are you slightly above average at?

Writing, a certain sexual act, and being odd. What can I say? I gotta be me.

Human laws now apply to pets. What is your pet getting arrested for, Day 1?

Being a bully and elder abuse for the way he acts towards our other cat and the dog. I love Mouth, but he can definitely be an asshole sometimes too.

To what will you shamelessly admit to being a fan-boy/girl of?

The Rocky Horror Picture, Show, professional wrestling, Dark Shadows, “The Fallen Artist” Derk Douglas, Soce the Elemental Wizard, Alice Cooper, Waylon Jennings, etc.

What is an under-rated city that more people should visit?

I can’t think of any. Stay your ass home where you belong.

What is the oldest manmade thing you own?

We have a pink crocheted throw my sister knitted when she was 14 years old. She’s 60 years old now so forty-six years old and it’s still in great shape. I also have a mask I made in school in fourth grade I believe. Made of clay and then the teacher hardened in a kiln. It’s pretty cool and would be about forty-two years old or so.

It’s 1993 again. Where are you?

I was working at Dairy Mart so probably chilling with Kever, Pearlie, and that crowd if I remember correctly. Honestly, I’m not sure on this one.

What would an American Civil War look like today?

Just look at the current news with the leftist crazies and the people on the right who are getting sick and tired of the entitled, whiney, politically correct, cancel cultured, safe-space seeking cupcakes. And there you go.

What ridiculous food myth was you taught growing up that wasn’t true?

I remember being told that swallowing watermelon seeds would cause a watermelon to grow inside your belly. I swallowed many seeds over the years, watermelon and others as well, and nothing grew in my belly but some fat. It wasn’t true. The more you know.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Let’s chat, especially if you’re a cute, guy and feeling a little frisky. For now, I’m through so I’m out of here. Take care and stay safe and I’ll see you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!