Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day Of Dougie:
Word Association Edition
June 25, 2021
DougMaynard.com

It’s been an exasperating day. No, I won’t recycle a Hee Haw skit and say, “My daddy, the Colonel”, but it has truly been a day. Doctor appointment for the Oxygen Chamber this morning and then a real doctor appointment immediately afterward, followed by going to pick up my truck which has been in the shop, and a nap. I’ve tried to sit down and write several times today, but people around here like to talk… a lot!

I finally am managing to get a few minutes of peace and quiet. What shall I ever do. That’s simple. I just added over two hundred new topics to the Magic Bag, now making the total well over seven hundred different options for whenever I do a Day of Dougie blog. Yeah, this bit isn’t going away for a while. And it continues again now. It’s a word association edition of A Day of Dougie. I draw from the Magic Bag and then reply with a short sentence or two about what immediately comes to mind. Does that sound like fun or what? Let’s do this.

Food Stamps: You ain’t got no ice cream. I hear those words and think of Eddie Murphy and his jokes about how cruel kids can be. I also think about the old days of buying stamps and eating well. Those were the days.

Parking Lots: Let’s tear down this entire town and just put in a big parking lot. Who’s with me on that?

Peanut Butter Cups: When chocolate meets peanut butter, it’s the very picture of goodness. I especially like the small ones.

Grand Design: It’s the ultimate culmination of a plan or effort. It’s the big picture or at least that’s what I think it is. But then again, what do I know? That sounds good.

Watta Deal!: My one-time mentor and boss-man, Jimmy Lee, he of the “Bubba” and “Convenient Food Mart” legacy said this often. Or was it Bill Siders? One of them did. And when they said it about an item on sale, they meant it. Convenient Food Mart flashbacks!

Top 40 Radio: Rick Dees used to have a radio show that counted down the Top 40 songs played on radio each week. So did Casey Kasem. That’s when the radio was good. Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars. Memories of a time that’s now gone.

Trunks: If it won’t hold a body, it’s not big enough.

Elf On A Shelf: Santa’s favorite little snitch. Well except for Candy. He’s cool.

Sports Heroes: Just because someone is good at sports doesn’t mean they’re automatically a hero. It just means that they’re good at sports. It’s character and actions that make a person a hero. Nothing else matters. LeBron James is a perfect example. He can play basketball fairly well, but he’s no Michael Jordon by any means. He’s also a hypocrite, a spoiled brat, a sore loser, and a piece of crap. Definitely not a hero by any standards.

Sheet Rock: If you’re a man from Robeson County, most likely you know about working with sheetrock. Just saying Pa.

Southern Rock Classics: Almost anything by Lynyrd Skynyrd, The Marshall Tucker Band, The Allman Brothers, Charlie Daniels, or Nantucket qualifies. It’s not a form of music – it’s a lifestyle.

Jeopardy: Alex Trebek was the man and the Saturday Night Live parodies of Trebek and this show were fun stuff.

Hot For Teacher: Van Halen had a hit song by this name and it was/is damn good. I never really had any teachers that I was hot for. There were a few other students and a few adult authority figures that I thought were sexy as fuck when I was a kid, but no teachers that I can remember. I was so freakin’ oppressed as a kid.

Sanford & Son: A great show starring Redd Foxx and LaWanda Page from the early seventies that is still awesome even today. I love to watch it still and often do on YouTube when I have the time. I want my Daddy’s records.

Collusion: There was none between Russia and the Trump Administration, but there is plenty between the current President and China. And the Democrats in Washington and terrorist groups like BLM and Antifa. Don’t believe me? Just open your eyes for once and pay attention. Impeach 46… and his little ho’ too!

Zealots: People who are crazy and deranged beyond reason or any hope. Just think Democrats where President Trump is concerned. These brain-damaged idiots are just that. The actual definition says, “a person who is fanatical and uncompromising in pursuit of their religious, political, or other ideals.” Now think Nancy, Chuck, Joe, The Ho’, etc., and their insanity and determination that anything that Trump does is bad for America even though it was not. And there you go.

3 Blind Mice: When I see this, I picture three little Mickey’s with dark glasses and white canes. Better watch out for that Butcher’s wife. I hear she’s got a thing for cutting off tails.

Friends: My best friend is better than yours. Believe that! All of my friends are awesome. That’s why they’re my friends.

Rock Candy: The most electrifying candy in the candy store. Actually, I kind of remember this stuff from my early childhood. I didn’t like it.

Walnuts: They’re good on waffles, banana splits, and brownies.

Kung Fu Fighting: Snatch the pebble from my hand, Little Grasshopper. And listen to the song by Carl Douglas. Do you remember watching Kung Fu Theatre on the USA Network in the very early days of cable? I do.

Bells: Ring them loudly and you will be heard.

The Professor: All that knowledge, but he couldn’t build a boat to get Gilligan & the others off the island. I think he had the hots for Ginger.

And there you go. I made a small dent into the Magic Bag and here you go, another blog for your reading amusement. You’re welcome. My thanks for reading. Any comments, thoughts, or questions, just drop a comment below or give me a shout. Until the next time, take care of yourself and stay safe. I’ll see you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!