Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Casper VI
Fairy Tales, Age, Insults & More
August 19, 2021
DougMaynard.com

Over on Twitter, there is a man named Tyler Casper, a man who loves to educate, inform, and ask questions. His Twitter handle is @ghostly_host and you should check him out, follow him, and follow me at @Doug28352 as well. I follow back. Now let’s answer a few questions.

Do you drink flavored water?

I do quite often. My doctor told me that I need to cut back on my sugar so I am now drinking Propel and the occasional Gatorade with no sugar to supplement my occasional Mt. Dew Zero.

Do you judge a book by its cover, before you actually read the cover?

It depends on what I expect from the book before looking at it. Some books, the cover tells you all you need to know, but other times, some more insight and research is necessary.

Do you support your partner no matter what?

It depends on what my partner has or hasn’t done. I’ll always have his back, but if he’s being a stupid idiot, it’s my responsibility, to be honest, and let him know he’s messing up, but when push comes to show, if I’m committed enough to be with someone, then I have to give them my support 100%.

What is the best potato salad you’ve ever had?

My Mom makes the best potato salad, period!

Have you ever run, for fun?

If I run, someone or something is after my ass trying to kill me. There is no other reason.

What is the longest walk you’ve ever been on?

I used to walk regularly to Gibson (11 miles), Maxton (12 miles) on a regular basis. I was borderline insane.

Do you have a favorite fairytale?

I keep hearing this story about a senile, confused, corrupt pedophile with a crackhead son who enjoys sniffing children and in the obvious fable, people think he got 80,000,000 votes in an election and was legitimately elected to lead the most powerful country on earth. It has to be a fairy tale. It can’t be true.

What is something you shouldn’t put ice in?

Coffee or hot chocolate. It defeats the whole purpose.

Do you do yoga?

I can barely stand up or walk and I sure as hell can’t cross my legs to assume any kind of Yoga position. That would be a big no.

Do you wear yoga pants?

Unlike many other fat people, I know what I should and shouldn’t wear in public and for a man of my esteemed physical characteristics, yoga pants would be a big no.

Have you ever eaten something that transported you back to a childhood memory?

An apple off a tree makes me remember being at my Grandma Vick’s house in Ohio when I was a kid. I miss that place and those days.

Were you ever part of a sorority?

Sororities are for females and non-binary clowns who don’t realize that having a penis makes them a man, not a girl. I’ve partied in the women’s dorm at St. Andrews College back in the early ’90s many a time and they accepted me as part of the Dorm, but I don’t think that counts. I was just the Townie who liked to drink beer. I guess then that the answer here would be another no.

Do you act your age?

I act like a 55-year-old Dougie and it’s right for me. Whether anyone else agrees, I have no idea or care.

Do you look your age?

I’m a sexy beast for any age. And that’s the freakin’ truth. If you don’t believe me, just ask your boyfriend. He knows.

Do you feel your age?

My body is falling apart and I have aches and pains in places that I didn’t even know I had places. I don’t feel my age – I feel like a dinosaur on the brink of extinction.

What do you think is the best age to be?

Whatever age I am now, that’s the best one for me.

Do you have a favorite number?

I like 19. It means legal with no questions or backtracking involved.

What is your favorite type of art?

Every aspect of life is a piece of art in itself. Believe that!

Are you an artsy person?

I’m a writer. That’s what I do.

Do you ever bite the inside of your mouth when chewing?

It happens and damn, it hurts when that happens.

Do you have a favorite date in time?

July 3, 1966. A legend was born. Oh wait, that was me.

What is your favorite type of noodle?

I’ve always been partial to stroudle. Everyone likes the stroudle.

How does one “draw a blank”?

Pretend you’re Joe Biden. Act like Joe Biden. And there you go, life as a total blank.

Do you ever have brain farts?

I call them senior moments, but yes, they do happen.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

It’s more lust 99% of the time than true love, but yeah, it happens.

What is the weirdest game you’ve ever played?

The game of life. It’s always changing and truly an adventure of never-ending proportions.

What is the best insult you’ve ever used?

Your Mama…

What is the best insult you’ve ever heard?

Your Mama…

Do you drink coffee or tea?

I don’t drink either. Yuck!

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, or any questions are welcome and appreciated. Go check out Mr. Casper on Twitter and add me as well. Until the next time, take care of yourself and stay good. I’ll see you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!