Tossing Salt Presents:
5 Questions
Masks, Thanksgiving, Making An Album & More
August 27, 2021
DougMaynard.com

This world is full of questions and occasionally, I like to answer them or at least try. My friend Heath sent me a few to “have fun with” as he said. Well, I’m going to try. It’s “5 Questions”. Let’s do this.

Do masks work?

For concealing your identity, they work great. Just look at Mr. Wrestling II or The Masked Superstar. No one would have recognized them on the streets even though they were big wrestling stars because they wore cool masks. As for the most current use of a face mask, now being mandated by Scotland County (North Carolina) as of 5:00 pm tonight, the jury is still out as to the effectiveness of having these things covering the face and mouth. I think they help to a degree to stop the spread of germs and COVID and the assorted nastiness that is commonly spread from person to person but are they as effective as our Government is trying to make us believe? Let’s say that I have my doubts. But they’re covering up faces, many of which are much more attractive that way and need to be covered up so that’s a good thing, right? I’m ready to burn mine and when this shit is over, there will be a major bonfire of celebration with lots of beer and adult beverages in my backyard as I torch these damn masks. But for right now, I guess they’re a necessary evil and we have to deal with them. It’s more about control than any health purposes anyhow, but whatever. At least when I wear a mask, I don’t have to shave quite so often. I’ll take whatever I can get here.

Thanksgiving is coming soon. If you’re doing the cooking, what is on the menu?

I love to cook and Thanksgiving is one of the few times I can go all out and go crazy. The definite must-haves will be turkey, homemade stuffing, potato salad, green bean casserole, tater-tot casserole, corn on the cob, pigs-in-the-blanket, baked beans, and deviled eggs. And other things may get added to the mix if I get bored or happen to be inspired. I almost forgot the cornbread or biscuits. On Turkey Day, we eat well. Come by and get a plate. I’ll hook you up.

Were we better off with segregation?

Keeping people apart due to the color of their skin is wrong and stupid. Skin color shouldn’t matter for anything in the big picture of things. It’s just packaging. Character, personality, behavior, etc., that’s the stuff that matters. Are you a good egg? If so, that’s great. And if not, go fuck yourself. We are all the same under the skin and all bleed red, except for Vulcans. I think they bleed green if I remember correctly. Better together than apart. ‘Nuff said!

Which team has the best chances of winning the Super Bowl within the next five years?

I haven’t watched an NFL game in a couple of years and have no plans to since they started doing the whole “kneeling” thing and getting political. Same with the NBA so I really don’t know or care all that much. But for argument’s sake and just to give this question an answer, I’ll say The Panthers. Always gotta root for the hometown boys even if they do suck.

If you were told to record an album of duets, ten songs, with any ten musical artists/singers of your choice, who would your singing partners be?

Ten people, who could carry me to a passable duet and make my moanings and groanings not too bad? I can’t sing and just the thought of me making any kind of recording is a scary thought, but if it was to ever actually happen, my duet partners, assuming that I can only pick live artists and no dead guys, would be Rickie Lee Jones, Jessi Colter, Alice Cooper (of course), Kid Rock, Yelawolf, Jelly Roll, Tina Turner, Travis Tritt, Bucky Covington, and Hayley Reinhardt. And we would all freakin’ rock!

And there you go. My thanks for reading and to Heath for the questions. Any thoughts, comments, or questions of your own, feel free and drop me a line. Until the next time, take care and stay safe. It’s a crazy world out there. I’ll see you at the liquor store. Stay good.

Ubuntu!