Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Casper VIIII
August 27, 2021
DougMaynard.com

I’ve met a man on Twitter who likes to ask all sorts of questions. His name is Casper and he can be found at @ghostly_host. Go check him out. He likes to ask them. I like to answer them. And that brings us to here and now. Are you ready? Let’s do this.

Can you imagine going into a coma before 2020 just to wake up to the BS going on now?

I wish I had been in a coma for the past two years because this crap we’ve been dealing with and continue to deal with, it’s pretty hard to fathom and deal with. It’s like living in a surreal nightmare and being unable to wake up. Just give me the comatose state already.

Should all Biden voters be held accountable too?

Well, they’re already either dead or simply made up, at least the majority of them, and already suffer from obvious brain damage and stupidity so I think they’re okay as they are.

What would be the worst thing about living next to a restaurant?

The smells of the food constantly drifting towards your home. I’d always be hungry and end up weighing 600 lbs.

Have you ever seen an animal in the wild that you couldn’t quite identify?

Well, we had one come into the store this one time that had the body of a woman, but the face of a toad that just stepped on a Lego and it was hideous to behold. Think Wanda from In Living Color and then add some extra bags of ugly and there you go. And the voice was like he/she/it had smoked ten packs of Camel Non-Filters, a hoarse bellowing of gibberish. She scared me, but once my co-worker identified her as an actual human being, all was well again.

Is being white still racist? Or are we past that nonsense yet?

To be white is to be a racist. It doesn’t matter how you feel about others regardless of their skin color or nationality. The general consensus now is that if you’re a cracker, you’re a racist. It’s stupid and a false narrative that the powers-that-be use to separate us and keep everyone distracted from seeing the BS that said powers are trying to pull, but that’s how it is when in truth, race is just the color of a persons skin and doesn’t matter in the slightest. If you’re cool and not an asshole, that’s what matters. The rest, not so much.

Do you ever intentionally drive on the rumble strips?

Nah, them things annoy the hell out of me. What a way to ruin a good nap.

Did you ever have a pet rock?

I did. His name was Jasper and he was the most electrifying piece of stone in the entire household.

Did you have a pet growing up?

For as long as I can remember, we’ve always had a dog, a cat, or some kind of pet of some kind in my life.

Have you ever stopped to “smell the flowers” and been “stung by a bee”?

I don’t think so. I don’t like bees. They sting and hurt. Well except for that bee girl in Blind Melon’s “No Rain” video. She was kind of cool.

Have you ever stopped to smell the flowers only to find out they were Titan Arums(corpse flowers)?

Damn, that’s depressing. I don’t think so.

Do you have a favorite power tool?

Insert dirty gay joke here. I’m a middle-aged, repressed gay man who spends way too much time writing strange blogs and talking about pro wrestling. Do I have a favorite power tool? What you got, big Daddy? Let’s find out. I’ll rock your world.

And there you go. My thanks for reading and to Casper for all the great questions. Any comments, thoughts, or questions you’d like to ask about anything at all, give me a shout, and let’s talk. Until the next time, stay cool and safe and I’ll see you on the flip side. Take care.

Ubuntu!