Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Casper:
Music, Popsicles, Wood & More
September 6, 2021
DougMaynard.com

A man named Casper likes to ask questions. A man named Doug likes to answer them. And now, here we are. Let’s do this.

What is your favorite type of music?

I enjoy pretty much all styles of music depending upon my mood. Sometimes it’s classic country like Waylon, Jones, Coe, Dolly, and Haggard. Sometimes it’s classic rock like Dr. Hook, The Beatles, The Stones, Guess Who, and of course Alice. Sometimes it’s big band/nightclub-style music like Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy, or Torme. And then adds blues, pop, disco, and country-rap to the mix and there you go. The only thing I absolutely can’t stand is the gangsta rap crap where it’s all cursing, mumbling, nigga this and nigga that, etc. Rap is crap. But anything else, I’m open to giving it a listen.

What is the longest you’ve ever had to wait in the car for someone?

Far longer than I should have had to. Waiting annoys the shit out of me big time, but I do it anyway because I love the person who I’m waiting for. Otherwise, I’d just leave. I hate freakin’ waiting. sighs

Do you trust USPS with your mail?

Not really, but what alternative do we have. And besides, the guys at the UPS store are pretty damn cool. Too bad they’re straight boys… damn it!

How have gas prices changed what you do?

They haven’t. I hated to drive before the prices went crazy and I still hate to drive. I just drive less now but hate it just as much.

What is a story that should be made into a movie?

How about the story of Hunter Biden. How a crackhead who impregnates his brother’s widow goes from being a piece of trash to an energy expert who serves on the boards of energy companies in foreign nations and a top artist, all by himself without any help from his pedo-in-chief father, a well known, but inept and incompetent politician. So crazy, it has to be under fiction, but we’re supposed to believe it anyhow. Or tell the story of Kamala. How she went from being the mistress and sex-toy of a much older man and used his influence and power, along with lies and manipulations, to become the most powerful woman in the United States, right after Hillary Clinton, Lord help us.

Do you like snow cones?

Yeah, but I don’t eat the yellow ones.

Do you have a favorite popsicle flavor?

Give me the green or the orange. Those are the good ones.

When someone asks you where you want to eat, what do you normally say?

I don’t care because truthfully, I really don’t. I’m easy to get along with.

Are you the kind of person who won’t take “no” as an answer?

I actually prefer no as an answer because that ends my commitment and any reason to keep the conversation going. You said No? Okay then. Bye!

Should there be a dance called the Biden shuffle?

Would that be like the Super Bowl shuffle, but you shake your booty every time Biden or one of his people tell a lie. Damn, that would be a workout.

How are the words denial and acceptance alike?

They both use letters to be spelled, both consonants and vowels.

Have you ever made your own nails?

No, but I made some wooden stakes one time. After all, you never know when you’re going to come across a pissed-off vampire and have to stake them.

Have you ever built anything with wood?

Wooden stakes, a table one time, some fences and a dog house out of pallets, and a table.

What is your favorite type of wood?

Insert gay joke here. I like them all.

How long would you last in The Hunger Games?

My fat ass would be dead within thirty minutes. I ain’t playing no games.

How long could you go without technology of any kind (minus any that may keep you alive)?

I’d be okay for a couple of days, but then things would start getting goofy and probably not too good.

What is your dream vehicle?

A 1972 Volkswagen Beetle with a convertible top. I love me some bugs.

And there you go. Go check out Mr. Casper on Twitter at @ghostly_host. Give him a follow. You’ll be glad you did. And with that, I’m out of here. I have things to go do. Take care of yourself and stay safe. I’ll see you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!