Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Casper
Collections, Secrets, Heaven & More
October 18, 2021
DougMaynard.com

On Twitter resides a man named Casper who asks many questions. And here at this site, there is a man, me, who likes to answer them. Go check out Casper at @ghostly_host. Follow and be entertained. But first, read my answers to his many queries. And away we go.

Do you collect coins?

I do have a jar here at the house with lots of foreign coins that I’ve picked up over the years, but that’s pretty much it these days. I used to have a large collection of the gold dollar pieces, the Silver Dollar’s, two-dollar bills, etc, but most of that vanished a few years ago when a person was staying with us and did a lot of bad things to betray the family and our trust. I think you get the idea.

Do you collect stamps?

Hell, I can never find a stamp around this place. I used to collect them so I could mail letters and write to people, but as that slowed down and eventually stopped, I quit worrying about stamps. So that would be a no.

Have you ever had a card collection?

WCW Wrestling cards, yes I did and do, somewhere around here. And I think there may be some Garbage Pail Kids cards around here as well, but where, I have no idea. But that was all so very long ago.

Have you ever had a rock collection?

I did and it was a big collection of all sorts of rocks, all cool looking and polished. Then one day, I accidentally left the door open and they all escaped. At least that’s what I was told. Damn rocks!

Have you ever taken advantage of someone else?

I have. Who hasn’t? Not really proud of it, but shit happens, right?

Have you ever been taken advantage of?

Yes, I have. Not proud of it, but shit happens and life goes on.

Can you keep a secret?

I think so.

Are you a man/woman of your word?

Our word is truly all we have that matters and if your word isn’t good, then you are nothing. Period!

Has anyone ever stopped to help you on the side of the road?

Yeppers, they have and it was much appreciated. Hell, true story that a friend of mine even drove to come to me in Siler City, NC to bring me a spare tire because I had fallen asleep while driving, crashed into a ditch, and wrecked my truck. I managed to get my truck pulled from the ditch, thanks to a couple of CP&L guys, and the only damage was a blown-out tire on the front passenger side. The only problem here was my spare tire was at my home, on my carport, in Laurinburg. I called my friend Greg and he went to my house, got my spare, and brought it to me, nearly80 miles away. We changed my tire and he followed me home. Thank you Greg. I love you brother.

Have you ever witnessed instant karma?

I have on a few occasions. Read my True Life Stories From C-Store Hell for examples. Damn, she can be a bitch sometimes.

Ever do something, then immediately wonder why you did it?

Far too many times to count. I’ll just go with the “I was drunk” or “he was cute” excuse to justify those actions.

What is the worst trip you’ve ever been on?

Nothing immediately comes to mind. I guess I need to travel more.

Do you own a pair of Velcro shoes?

Kind of, but not really. The two crow-boots I wear every day. to give my feet support so that I can actually stand and walk, are held together by Velcro straps. I guess that would qualify. And after I get this surgery done, I’ve heard that the prosthetic I’ll be getting to replace my right foot will be held into place with velcro and straps, but I’m not sure about that yet. I’ll have to wait and see. So I guess that would be a yes?

Have you ever wondered what heaven will look like?

My guess is that it would all depend on your belief structure and what your expectations are or are not. What would be heaven for one person might not be the same for someone else. But hopefully, it’s a place of peace, love, and rest.

Are you politically correct?

Do you read the stuff I write and talk about? Have you ever seen my Twitter page? I’m a gay Republican who volunteers at a church, works in a liquor store, has a very dark and twisted sense of humor, writes about wrestling and life for a hobby, and my favorite entertainers are Alice Cooper, Waylon, Joan Rivers, Kevin Smith, and Sammy Davis Jr. What the hell do you think?

What do you think was the last great movie ever made?

I hardly ever watch any new movies so this is a hard one for me. I’m sure that there have been some good ones since, but I’ll play it safe. Clerks 2.

What is your favorite movie from the 80s?

There were so many good ones in the ’80s, so I’ll just say Airplane, Police Academy (the entire series), and the Lost Boys. Can’t go wrong with any of these.

Have you ever seen “Lords of War”?

No, I have not.

What is your favorite movie dealing with aliens?

Earth Girls Are Easy starring the lovely Miss Julie Brown of early MTV fame, as well as unknowns like Jim Carey and Damon Wayans. It’s campy, funny, silly, and I like it. Check it out sometime. You’ll be glad you did.

And there you go. It’s time now to call it a night and go to bed. The sixteen or so hours I slept today weren’t nearly enough and I need to go hide in my room for a bit. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions you may have are welcome and appreciated. Until the next time, take care. Thank you, Casper. I’ll see you on the other side.

Ubuntu!