Tossing Salt Presents:
5 Questions
Unforgivable Crimes, Villains, Fakes & More
November 5, 2021
DougMaynard.com

Let’s take a few questions from the crowd. It’s time to do that 5 Questions thing, but I’m adding a bonus question. “Why?”, you ask. Just because I can. The questions are from Reddit. The answers are from yours truly. And it all starts right now.

If somebody kidnapped you and said “You die unless you sing one song perfectly” which one would you choose?

While I used to do karaoke in the past and had a semi-decent voice, I’m way too messed up to do it now, and my voice? It’s totally shot to shreds so my only response to my kidnappers would be to just shoot me now. But if I had to sing, I’d go for either some classic Waylon (Nashville Bum), some Sinatra (I’ve Got You Under My Skin), some Babby Bare (Numbers), or Dr. Hook (Cover Of The Rolling Stone, Carry Me Carrie). I can do most of those fairly okay where they don’t totally suck. And if you don’t believe me, come try me. Let’s sing.

Which celebrities do you think are faking their whole personality?

A good person in front of the camera, but a total piece of crap behind it? As Twitter and the past few years have shown, how about Oprah, Bette Midler, Cher, Alec Baldwin, 98% of the politicians, Joe Biden, Mariah Carey, Jim Carey, Robert DeNiro, Whoopi Goldberg, and so many others.
Those are the first names that came to mind.

What crime/act in your opinion is beyond forgiveness?

Anything involving harming a child or an animal. Doesn’t matter if it’s sexual, violent, or just being abusive in any way, shape, or form. Kids don’t deserve it and neither do pets/animals. Fuck with them and you deserve whatever comes your way, be it jail, an ass-whooping, a bullet in the skull, etc. It’s just that simple.

What scene from a movie/show genuinely makes you cringe?

Go watch the movie “120 Days of Sodom”. It’s Italian and not available in English, but the entire movie is fascinating and hard to turn away from, no subtitles needed, but so damn disturbing and cringe-worthy in so many different ways. It’s a sick study in sadism and masochistic torture and extremely graphic. It’s a fascinating movie, but the writers and directors were some sick fucks and I’m sure that this movie scarred a lot of actors for life after appearing and the filming of it. And if that movie isn’t of your taste, and let’s hope it’s not because it is that twisted and bad, another cringe-worthy piece of cinema comes on television five days a week on ABC Television. It’s called The View and if listening to those flesh-bags cackling and spewing the garbage from their mouths doesn’t make you cringe, nothing will.

If everyone had warning signs, what would yours say?

Don’t Feed The Bears!

Who is the greatest movie villain of all time?

This is a hard call because there are so many great movie villains out there and they’re all great in their own way. Do we go with Darth Vader, Voldemort, Jenny (from Forrest Gump), Khan (from the Star Trek franchise), Saddam Hussein (from South Park), Hannibal Lechter, Freddy Krueger, Thanos, or is there someone else who was more disgusting, vicious, and evil than any of the names I’ve mentioned? For me, I’ll go with the shark from the movie Jaws. He puts the bite on every single one of these other characters and it was watching that movie, and watching the shark do his thing, that still to this day, keeps me from swimming in the ocean. Damn you Shark. Damn you to hell!

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Any comments, thoughts, or questions you may have, please drop me a line or leave a comment in the box. Until the next time, take care and stay good. And if you’re at the beach and in the ocean, watch out for the sharks. I’ll see you at the bar.

Ubuntu!