A Day Of Dougie: Memories & Reflections II

Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day Of Dougie:

Memories & Reflection II
November 10, 2021

Recently, I came across a box of old notebooks full of my writings over the years. I need to get rid of some clutter and was thinking of trashing the notebooks, but I don’t want to lose my past. So bit by bit, I’m sharing it here. No explanations unless someone asks, but it’s the workings of my then young mind put to pen and paper many moons ago. It’s a trip back in time to simpler and better days, some of them anyhow. It’s today’s Day of Dougie. So sit back, read, reflect, and enjoy. And if you’re a person of musical talent and want to work with me and put some of my attempts at song lyrics to music and collaborate, let me know. Maybe we can be the next Lennon/McCartney. Just throwing that out there. And now, enough chatter. It’s all a flashback on this Day of Dougie. Let’s do this. And away we go.

Remembering you and me together
we shared our lives together
forever and ever

But just like you
I wonder where it went
as we talk about the finish
in the present tense
I see straight out to the end
past every prayer
you ran right through
Oh Lisa, you’re dying out
Oh Lisa, it’s the truth

Slow and steady
Good luck tonight
Thank you


Dealing with stress and lies
I can’t stand lies
yet I must lie
my reputation is at stake
my future
the truth must be found
amidst the shadows of deceit and treacher

Did Jerry steal the money?
Was he involved?
What does Johnny know of it?
Does he know at all?
Am I just a damn idiot to trust them?
Have I been fooled again?
Trust is a hard thing to gain
and even more painful when lost

I will learn the truth
and hell will be paid
in full
no deposit
no return


The truth will set you free
but if the truth reveals the past to be lies
it may also get you hurt
and hurt badly
I trust you
I believe you
but things don’t look good
I don’t like liars
I don’t like thieves
I don’t like being fucked over
Right now, I like you
don’t fuck it up
Or you won’t like the consequences


The beginning and the end
the time has come for the truth to come forth
no matter how bad or unpleasant
and for the consequences to be paid
I won’t be lied to
I won’t be deceived
And I won’t be fucked again


Mouse with sunglasses
Smoke fills the room
Evil eyes
Feel them staring at you

Must be nice to escape the pain
free from the feeling of going insane
It must be nice
To be okay
It’s not supposed to be this way
It must be nice

Good night sweet child
What is wrong with me
and the way I am
struggling hard
to become a man
looking for a friend

Must be nice to escape the pain
free from the feeling of going insane
It must be nice
To be okay
It’s not supposed to be this way
It must be nice


In the night, a voice comes to me
a summons
the future awaits, yet I refuse to listen
stay buried in the sanctuary of memories
and days gone by
there is a life waiting for me
eventually, I must move forward
for better or for worse
I can’t stay in the past forever
I can’t always be safe or afraid


A mouse with glasses
a bull and the devil
so many cosmic entities
living in one room
and among them, I dwell
trying to equal up to them
and in their eyes
earn respect and acceptance
from my plush, stuffed peers

damn people and their observations
I’ve already tried and failed
these toy creatures
are more than adequate
and much more fair
true, they’re not real
but what is these days?

This is a world of deceit and lies
in which we live
so a journey into make-believe
it isn’t so bad
I hope not
cause it’s all I have left


So much confusion
So many emotions
Of such intensity
All inside
Wanting to be released
Could I survive the outcome?
Could I handle the consequences?
Or should I remain silent
And play it by ear
And let things happen as they may?
Who knows?
Not I?


And there you go. More memories from way back in September 1992, preserved for posterity. Thanks for reading and more importantly, not judging. Almost thirty years ago. Damn, I was a messed up soul, but don’t worry. I’m much better now, sort of anyway. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome. Until the next time, take care and stay good. I’ll see you at the bar.


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