Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day Of Dougie
Platonic Life-Partners, Us versus Them, and Mexican Bars.
January 5, 2022
DougMaynard.com

Shout out to JHoody and Drunk Dane of No Chasers. Roll Tide! ‘Nuff said! And now, let the show begin.

Greetings and welcome to the first real Day of Dougie for the year of our Lord, 2022. I’ve posted some old flashback editions of the blog on my Facebook page, but I haven’t even ventured near the Magic Bag at all so far for this year. Today though, that changes. I’ve actually been more focused on a couple of other things than doing the usual stuff. “What are these other things you speak of?”, you ask. Well, I’m glad you asked. I’m back writing fanfiction again and have begun a new Dr. Druid story. Yes, I know that by most comic hero standards, he’s a lame character, but he pre-dates The Fantastic Four, Spiderman, The Avengers, etc, and was created by Stan Lane and with the proper writing, mine, he’s a good character to play with.

And also, as I think I mentioned in one of my Ultimate Wrestling Q&A’s, I’m thinking of starting a new sister site for this one that focuses on nothing but the world’s greatest entertainment, besides hookers, pro wrestling. I have it pretty much set up, with a layout very similar to the one I use for this site, but I just need to go active with it to get the ball rolling. The only reasons for my hesitations are that I can’t decide whether or not to just do it myself or try to get as many others who love wrestling as much as I do to contribute, with columns, recaps, and participation in other aspects of the site instead. Instead of a site that just gives the Dougie perspective of wrestling, make one that tackles things from several different directions and viewpoints. I need to make that call and do something and I will soon. Just keep your eyes open for updates and we’ll see where it goes.

And now, all of that is well and good, but let’s move on now and get to the reason we’re all here, rambling and ranting of random topics drawn from the infamous Magic Bag. Let’s reach in and see what we’re talking about today. We have Platonic Life Partners, Us versus Them, and finally Mexican Bars. Yeah, I think someone will end up getting offended today. It looks like we have some fun topics to speak of and political correctness be damned. So are you ready? Let’s do this.

No, wait. Let’s change things up a bit. Have you ever heard of a guy called Super Humman? Yes, this is the obviously mentally challenged goof that goes on YouTube every week and lives out his wrestling fantasies by dropping elbows through tables and on to other items, usually hurting himself more than the items he’s trying to crash through. An absolute car-crash of a character and painful to watch, but hard to resist. He’s a Juggalo, which has nothing to do with anything, but I decided to mention it. Every video he does, before jumping off a table and inflicting pain upon himself goes the same way. He takes off his shirt, not a pretty sight at all, pumps his arm in the air with what sounds like the mating call of a Canadian Moose in heat, and then yells, “Fuck this shit!” before launching himself into the air. Yeah, it’s as bad as it sounds and this guy is an idiot. But for this edition of the Days of Dougie, I’m stealing his catchphrase. I’ll leave my shirt on (thank goodness) and I’m not jumping anywhere, but for the rest of it, rather than my usual “Let’s do this”, we’re going full-fledged moron. So are you ready? FUCK THIS SHIT!

And now, on with our show.

Platonic Life-Partners…

This is something new that I saw mentioned online where platonic friends, instead of getting married and pursuing romantic entanglements, choose to live with their “best friends” instead. They buy homes together, marry each other, adopt kids together, share finances together, etc. Everything a traditional marriage would have, but no romantic love and it’s platonic. It’s “hetero life-mates” taken to the next level and I guess it does kind of make sense. I do have a couple of friends that I don’t love in the romantic sense, even though they are sexy beasts – ask them and they’ll tell you, but I do trust, respect, and my life would be absolutely sucky and empty without them. And could I live with them in the same house, sharing bills, holidays, family moments, and making memories? Probably so. But would I want to marry them and forsake all other romantic relationships, but keep it all platonic with them as well? Nah, I like my booty-calls and I don’t see them in that way so that would leave me and my life lacking in many ways. So I’ll stick with the “best friend” label for most of them, “hetero-life mate” for one of them, and “cool Peeps” for the rest. And the label of “platonic life partners”? I think I’ll pass.

Us versus Them…

Who is Us? We are the ones who think things out, don’t take things at face value, have respect for others, use common sense when applicable, say thank you, please, and the terms Ma’am and Sir, and don’t take offense at every little thing. And Them? That’s the snowflakes of the world, the entitled who feel that they’re owed everything, don’t value any opinion but their own, have no respect for others who they don’t agree with, and follow the masses like mindless sheep instead of doing their homework, listening to other perspectives and making an educated decision, and need to pull their pants up. Let’s Go Brandon! ‘Nuff said!

Mexican Bars…

And finally, we have Mexican Bars. Let me start by saying that the only difference I’ve ever seen between Mexican bars and regular bars is that the Mexican bars are mostly full of Mexican and other Latino customers. And the so-called regular bars are mostly other folks. And now, let me tell you a story.

Back in 1997, I was the store manager of a convenience store down in Wilmington, NC. Yes, I know. Me as a manager? Scary thought to be sure, but it was a fun experience and I met some amazing people during that time. One guy was a Mexican guy whose name I can’t remember. I can see his smiling face so clearly, but the name escapes me at the moment. Getting old and senile sucks, but hell, maybe I could be President of the United States one day? You never know, but what was I saying? This guy, who worked as a painter/sheet rocker, came into my store every morning to get coffee and cigarettes. And we became friendly He didn’t speak much English, but we managed to have some good conversations and connect anyhow. And then one day, he invited me to go out drinking that night with him and his buddies.

Now during that time, I was drinking a lot. I was working every day from 5:00 am to whenever, putting in easily 70-80 hours a week. The joys of being a manager, right? So my life was working, drinking, hanging with my coworkers, or chilling with the two awesome guys who lived upstairs from my apartment. I don’t know why I wanted to clarify all that, but I did. Now back to the story.

He asked me to go out drinking with him and his friends. I said “Ok”, and that’s what we did. We went to this bar that they all liked and it was myself, my friend, and four of his buddies. I’m a white boy who doesn’t speak Spanish. They’re all Mexican and don’t speak much English at all. And this club we went to, I’m easily the only non-Mexican person there. I got a few dirty looks when we first got there, but I didn’t care. Just point me to the bar and let’s drink some beer.

And that’s what we did. We all hung out together, drank lots of beer, had a damn good time, and then went home. My buddy stayed with me at my apartment that night after making sure that I was okay. And yes, I was okay, but just totally smashed out of my mind. Then the next morning, we got up. I went to work and he went home and that was that. And I left Wilmington to come home a few months later and we never got the chance to party like that again.

So several Mexican guys and I went to a club full of Mexicans, got totally hammered, and had a great time. That’s my Mexican Bar story. Oh yeah, and his name was Francisco. Damn, he was a cutie. I wonder where he is today? Probably back in Mexico with a fat wife and seven small children. Oh well, I still have the memories. Let’s wrap this sucker up.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions you might have about the stuff here or anything at all, give me a shout either here at the site or via my e-mail at Doug28352@yahoo.com. Until the next time, stay safe and be good, and when you’re looking for a direction in life, just make it a Day of Dougie and all will be harmonious, happy, and full of unicorns, purring kitties, and fresh pecan pie. It really will. Would I lie to you? Take care and I’ll see you in the parking lot at the liquor store.

Ubuntu!