Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day Of Dougie:
John Wayne, Twister, & Sussudio
January 7, 2022
DougMaynard.com

Good morning and yes, it is morning. Very damn early in the morning. I can’t sleep so here I am, sitting at my computer, listening to the sounds of Betty Wright, and bored out of my mind. So I read for a little bit, drank a mini-me Bud Light that’s been sitting in the back of the fridge for several months, wrote a prediction column for Impact Wrestling’s Hard to Kill PPV, and now, I’m here talking to you, my loyal readers and Peeps. I really need to get a life… or a boyfriend. Any volunteers? Give me a shout.

But hunting for potential life mistakes isn’t going to do me any good right now. What oh what is a man to do? I guess it’s time to go get the Magic Bag and do a “Day of Dougie” piece. Why the hell not, right? I really need to get my life back on track soon. I’ve been out of this house once in three weeks, for a doctor’s appointment, and aside from my Mom and my cats, I haven’t talked to another human in person all that time either. A few text messages here and there with my bro, a conversation with Brent, and a phone call from my boss, but that’s it. I’m losing my freakin’ mind!

So what was I saying? Oh yeah, the Magic Bag and some random writing about random things. That sounds like a plan to me. Let’s find some topics. We have John Wayne, Twister, and Sussudio. Okay, this probably won’t take long. Are you ready? Let’s do this.

John Wayne…

One of the biggest movie stars of the 20th century, mostly in westerns. He was big, macho, a man’s man, Patriotic, and his real name was Marion. I’m not a big fan of the old western genre of movies, but even I know John Wayne. He’s what everyone thought a true cowboy should be and, along with Matt Dillon from Gunsmoke, when I think of a real cowboy, he’s the first name to come to mind. Forget all about GI Joe. No don’t cause GI Joe was cool, but when you look up the expression “Real American Hero” in the dictionary, John Wayne’s face is who you’ll see. It’s true. It’s damn true!

Side notes here; There were two other John Wayne’s with a prominent place in American history. John Wayne Gacy and John Wayne Bobbit. One was a serial killer who dressed up as a clown and the other got his pens chopped off by a pissed-off wife. They shared the same name as “The Duke”, but their legacies, not quite as impressive, especially Bobbit’s. I saw the porn that he made. I was not impressed. Let’s move on.

Twister…

It’s another name for a tornado. It’s also a game where several people stand on a piece of plastic that is decorated in big of many different colors. A spinner thingy is used to pick out a body part and a color and whatever you get, you try to accommodate, such as a right hand on the green spot and so forth. Two or more people all standing close together on this sheet of plastic makes for some interesting entanglements. And to make it even better, if everyone is naked, whoo hoo! I like it that way anyhow. It’s great fun for very close families and friends. Hasbro created a good one with this game. ‘Nuff said!

Sussudio…

What in the hell is a sussudio? Phil Collins did this song way back thirty years ago about a sussudio and while I like the song, I still to this day have no freakin’ idea what it’s supposed to mean. According to Collins in an interview, it actually has no actual meaning, but can be used as a stand-in for any girl’s name. So if you’re with a girl and can’t remember her name, just call her Sussudio. If it works for Phil Collins, then why the hell not? Personally, I think he was probably just tripping balls on heavy drugs or Robitussin and was just making up words that sound cool, but that’s just my theory. Anyhow, it was a song by Phil and it made him lots and lots of money. What more really do we need to know? Here’s the video.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Any comments, thoughts, or questions you may have about anything at all, feel free and give me a shout. This concludes today’s Day of Dougie. Take care and be safe. I’ll see you at the Wal-Mart parking lot next time I go pick up a prescription. Be good.

Ubuntu!