Tossing Salt Presents:
Ten Questions:
Music, Positivity & More
January 31, 2022
DougMaynard.com

In a world full of questions, I have the answers. Well some of them anyhow. Ten questions from my Twitter timeline, answered by me, just because I can. It’s Ten Questions and I support the right to bare arms. I hate wearing long sleeves. Let’s do this.

What is the worst music?

It all depends on my mood because I generally like all music genres and only when it’s really bad, really stupid, or performed by an Oompa Loompa will I object. Or if it’s hardcore gangsta rap. I don’t care to hear about bitches getting slapped around like ho’s. That just kills my vibe.

What is the best music?

Almost any type of music is good so long as it has a good vibe and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy in the tum-tum. Yes, I’m stealing Simon Miller’s gimmick. He’s bald. He won’t care.

What is the most irritating thing to hear when you’re trying to sleep?

A cat or dog licking themselves and then throwing up on the floor. Either one of those is disgusting. Or a certain someone knocking at my bedroom window in the middle of the night. The sex ain’t that good.

Remember when people actually honored IOUs?

Yes, but we are now in the age of entitlement and just because you loan a person money, you should not expect to be paid back. And if you do expect repayment, you’re a racist.

When isn’t a good time for a drink?

Right before going to work, going for a drive, or meeting your probation officer. Any other time, what the hell. Go for it!

Do you have tunnel vision?

No, I wear glasses and my doctor says my vision is much better now.

What is the most selfless thing you’ve ever done?

I do nothing selflessly. I always have a purpose. I have a black heart and the rest of it, it’s just an act. Where my Oscar at?

How long do you spend looking in the mirror?

Long enough to brush my hair or shave and then I’m good. I don’t need the mirror to know that I’m a sexy beast.

How are you always so positive?

It’s called day drinking. Just kidding. I rarely drink anymore. It’s just a condition, but nothing that a good shrink couldn’t fix.

Which book do you think everyone should read at least once in their life?

The Bible… and Hugh Prather’s Notes To Myself. Seriously, it’s a very cool book.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions you may have, just shoot me a line and ask. Until the next time, be good, be safe, and Ruffles have ridges. I’ll see you in the padded cell.

Ubuntu!