A Day Of Dougie: Rapid Fire Edition

Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day Of Dougie:
Rapid Fire Edition
February 5, 2022
DougMaynard.com

Not being able to sleep, it’s a total pain in the ass. Yes, I said it. It’s 3:20 in the morning and my eyes are closing, my brain is befuddled, and I’m sitting here at the computer wide away. The mind just won’t shut down tonight and I’m feeling so stressed, so tense, so freaking alone. Yeah, it’s one of those nights. I’m living in hell right now and the flames just keep getting hotter. Okay, that’s a slight exaggeration, but it is what it is and what it isn’t good. Maybe writing about some random stuff will make me feel better? Damn, I need a friend right now.

But forget about all that. I’m just going to do a rapid-fire edition of A Day of Dougie, where I draw topics from the Magic Bag and then, without any preparation or prior knowledge, just say whatever comes to mind. I’d rather be drinking right now, but I don’t do that anymore, damn it! I don’t do much of anything anymore, to be honest. I’m just trapped here, much like a prisoner in a Nazi Prison Camp. Just sitting here alone, always alone. Let’s get the bag and do this shit!

Wait a moment. Before I do this, did I mention that I’m suspended from Twitter for a week? I may have referred to a bunch of idiots as being idiots for their defense of a perverted piece of shit former U.S. Senator. Yeah, telling the truth and calling people out for being hypocrites will get you kicked off of Twitter. It may end up being permanent. And, “Why is that?”, you ask? Because they’ve pissed me off and the great philosopher, Bugs Bunny, once said, “Of course, you realize this means war!”. I’ve been on Twitter for nearly 11 years and have said far worse things many times than what I said yesterday and no one batted an eye, but I guess being a meanie to a deranged bat-shit crazy, washed up, B-level celebrity makes all the difference. I’ll shut up about this for now, but fuck Bette Midler! And now, let’s do a rapid-fire edition of A Day of Dougie. Let’s do this.

Not The Mama: Who doesn’t remember the short-lived TV show back in the day. Hell, I can’t remember the actual name of the show, but picture the Flintstones, but being actual dinosaurs instead of people living with dinosaurs and there you go. And the best character on the show was the baby, and Heaven help you if you tried to hold, feed, change, or in any other way interact with him and you weren’t the Mama. “Not the mama!” And the rest was history.

X-Mas: We say Christmas in this house and not the shortened form of X-Mas because Christ is the reason for the season, not Charles Xavier. So if you come around here in December, it’s Merry Christmas bitch! And now you know.

Egg Nog: I know some people like this stuff, but to me, it’s one of the nastiest concoctions ever created. If you add enough booze, it’s tolerable, but unless it’s 90% Wild Turkey, I’ll pass.

Purge: It’s what we need to do to Facebook and Twitter, get rid of and purge the stupid idiots from those sites. Of course, then there would only be like 5 people left, but we could talk among ourselves. Nah, that’d be boring after a while. So no purging allowed. Let’s just talk about them and point instead.

Dreams: Lo and behold what the future holds. It’s our reason to keep up the good fight, to keep moving forward, and to continue to be. At least until reality kicks in and knocks us down. To hell with reality. Dream on, young warriors. Dream on.

5 Cool Heroes: Five heroes of mine who are cool? How about Alice Cooper, Joan Rivers, my Mom, my bro Youngblood, and my Hetero Lifemate, the Infamous K-Mak. Yes, they are that damn good.

Red Line: It’s the ultimate bluff, but don’t cross it or else things will not be good. Don’t cross the red line unless you’re ready to deal with the consequences.

Drool & Slobber: It’s what I do when I fall asleep in the chair in the living room or while sitting here at my computer. I doze, I drool. Deal with it.

Champions: Queen. The band, featuring Freddie Mercury, were the champions. If you don’t believe them, just ask them. They’ll tell you. Great song too.

Mints: If your breath stinks, eat a mint. It should help.

And there you go. Yeah, this is pretty lame and I probably shouldn’t even post it, but I promised long ago that to you, my few and faithful, I’ll never lie to you or pretend to be what I’m not. You get the good, the bad, the insightful, and the stupid with me, all in one truly sexy package. So yeah, I’m posting this. It is what it is. I’ll be back later with some Ultimate Wrestling Q&A and maybe even a video? Does that sound like a plan? Take care and be good. I’ll see you later.

Ubuntu!

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