Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day Of Dougie
Playgrounds, Hot Boxes, Friends & Lovers & Gin Makes You Sin
February 11. 2022
DougMaynard.com

I just had a thought. PBS needs to bring back Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. And I can already hear you saying, “They can’t. He’s dead!” And I get that, but dig him up and prop the body up in front of the camera. Haven’t you ever seen Weekend At Bernie’s? Or find a replacement host who is calm, soothing, and as harmless as Mr. Rogers seemed to be to take the role and do a reboot. I can see it now. Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, starring, starring SNL’s Pete Davidson. well, either him or Ozzy Osbourne. I think it should happen. Are you listening to me, PBS? Make it work.

And welcome to a brand new Day of Dougie. This is the blog where I pick three items at random from the infamous Magic Bag, and then with no advance warning or preparation, I write about and discuss said items. Sometimes it’s good and sometimes it’s not, but guaranteed, it’s always a fun ride. Unless it sucks! So that’s why we’re here and what we’re going to do. Are you ready, kids?

Let’s find a few topics. I reach deep into the inner realm that is the inside of the Magic Bag looking for topics of discussion. And I have Playgrounds, Hot Boxes, Lovers & Friends, and finally, Gin Makes You Sin. Yes, there are four topics instead of the usual three. Two pieces of paper stuck together and I decided to just go with it. You’re welcome. So are you ready to do this? And away we go.

Playgrounds…

Playgrounds. A place where kids gather to slide on the slides, swing on the swings, climb on the monkey bars, and ride on the merry-go-round. At least that’s how it used to be. These days, you have swings and maybe a fort if you’re lucky. There might be a balance beam somewhere as well, but the ropes, the hard steel, the bars to climb, they’re not quite as easy to find anymore. Insurance risks are the excuse given. Precious little children might get hurt if they’re allowed to climb and jump and be kids. I am so glad that when I was growing up, we didn’t have that attitude. We jumped onto and fell off of metal merry-go-rounds, spinning at high speeds. We slid down the ladders, plowing into our unsuspecting friends. We didn’t have a care in the world and we played and had fun.

And now? A kid bruises his knee and Mommy wants to sue the city and cry about “her baby”. Adults use these facilities as places to meet and do hook-ups. Or even worse, meet and do drugs. We have a local playground not far from the house I live in that I used to go to in the middle of the night to just relax, forget my worries, and be a big kid for a little while. I found used condoms and discarded needles there many times before I finally quit going. That’s what they’ve become. Playgrounds are not for play anymore. They’re not for kids anymore. And that makes me sad. Let’s move on.

Hot Boxes…

I remember back in the day, the kids would have their Nikes or their Adidas brand shoes, styling and profiling, so proud and full of themselves. And then here came the poor kids and their shoes didn’t have the fancy names or cost $100. They wore the cheap shoes, the generic names, the department store name-brands, and were looked down upon for their shoe selection. The shoes that they, the poor kids wore, were called Hot Boxes.

And personally, I never really cared for or got into the whole shoe thing. If my shoe fit well, was comfortable, and didn’t hurt my feet, I’m good. And people paying for one pair of shoes what I was paying for a car payment or several days at the beach, just because they’re named after a celebrity, that just doesn’t impress me much. It didn’t then and it doesn’t now. So who wore the hot boxes back in school? Who was picked on and looked down on because they didn’t like paying crazy amounts of money for a status symbol? Who wore the hot boxes? That was me. Then and now. Status isn’t important. Being real is. My family couldn’t afford that stuff so we made due with what we had to work with. That’s life. That’s real. That’s me. Let’s move on again.

Lovers & Friends…

Some people are made to be your lovers. Some people are made to be your friends. And while the roles may interchange from time to time with certain people, it can be a confusing journey along the way. I want to be friends with all of my lovers. While I’m fully capable of sleeping with people I’m not really friends with, and with some I truly despise, but they’re good in bed, it makes things better if the lovers are friends as well, at least for me.

But I don’t want all of my friends to be lovers. Truthfully, most of my friends, I would prefer to never think of in a romantic manner. I have a lot of truly sexy, good-looking, hot friends, but as attractive as they are, the thought of getting intimate with them gives me cold chills and shivers. No offense, but bleh to that. A few friendships have admittingly turned intimate on occasion, but that’s more of a case of friends looking out for friends and hell, having nothing better to do at the time, but generally, it’s better to keep the two labels separate. And maybe when I do one day find my Mr. Right, he’ll be both a friend and a lover. That’s what works the best. But until that special someone shows up, for the most part, it’s better to keep it all apart and separate. Be my friend. Be my lover. It’s all the same to me. Okay, that was confusing and all over the place. Let’s get to the final topic of discussion and then wrap this up.

Gin Makes You Sin…

Drink a lot of gin and it makes you want to sin. And if you sin with me, I promise I’ll make you grin. Yes, I decided to do a lame-ass rhyme. I do that sometimes. And if you’re a cool guy, green eyes, and a great smile, I’m not joking. Let’s drink some gin. Let’s live in sin. I promise once again, I will definitely make you grin. And we both win.

Oh wow, I’m a poet and didn’t even know it. Happy days!

And there you go. That’s enough for today. My thanks for reading. If you have any comments, thoughts, or questions you’d like to ask, I’m always available and here for you so give me a shout. I love feedback. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy in the belly-welly. Or maybe that’s gas? Who knows for sure? But I do like talking to y’all so let’s do lunch. Have your girl call my girl, who’s really a guy, and we’ll set it up. Until the next time, be safe and be good. I’ll see you in the Mosh Pit.

Ubuntu!