Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Casper
Ghosts, Lies, President For A Day & More
February 21, 2022
DougMaynard.com

Over in the land that is Twitter, there is an entity by the name of Casper, who likes to ask questions. Twitter tried to get rid of this man, but like a ghost in the dark of night, Casper has risen from the grave and is still there. Follow him at @Da_Ghostly_Host. You’ll be glad you did. But as I was saying, Mr. Casper asks questions. I like to answer them. And here we are. It’s Questions By Casper. Let’s do this.

Have you ever seen a ghost?

Every time I go to Twitter and look at the profile of Mr. Casper, I see a man who Twitter has tried to kill, but keeps coming back. Does that count? So far as a real ghost, I used to share a trailer with a presence that was not explainable by conventional means. A ghost? That’s the only explanation that works. And my friends and I once had an experience at Stewartsville Cementary that may fit in the ghost-sighting category. I didn’t actually see anything, but my friend did and it was NOT a good experience.

What do you think is the most told lie?

Very simple. How many times have we been told, “I love you!”, by someone who has only their own needs and intentions in mind. Too many. That’s for damn sure.

Have you ever been to Disneyland?

No, I have not, nor do I have any intention to do so. I don’t have any desire to pay homage to The Mouse.

Do you sleep with a light on?

Nope, I prefer the absolute darkness. I just need to hear my fan running, but the presence of light is not necessary.

If you could rename any candy bar, what would you rename?

How about changing the name of the Milky Way candy bar to something less universal and spacey. Just call it the Moon Bar. It’s not good enough to represent an entire galaxy, but an orbiting satellite planet, that’s okay.

Do you believe in miracles?

There are many things for which there are no explanations, other than faith and a miracle. So that would be a yes.

If you were president for a day, what would you do?

Automatically repeal all previous executive orders from past Presidents. And then get out my pen and start writing a few of my own. And the first one, Alice Cooper’s birthday would be a National Holiday. After that, reopen the Keystone Pipeline, trash the mask mandates, trash the vaccine mandates, rename a couple of airports and parks after former President Trump (just to piss some people off), change the National Anthem to Waylon Jennings song, “America”, and start throwing pardons out there for everyone that’s been charged in the January 6 protests, again just to piss the Dems off. And then, I’d get busy fixing the stuff Biden and friends have screwed up. It’d be a busy day.

What is your favorite dried fruit?

Are raisins dried fruit? I like them so that’s what I’ll go with.

Would you vote for Ivanka for President if she ran?

I’d rather see Donald Jr. be the one to attempt to fill his father’s shoes than Ivanka, but yeah, if she’s my option versus almost any Democrat opponent. The antics of people like Biden, Pelosi, Schumer, Clinton, Obama, and their peers have so totally soured me on the Democratic party that I will never vote for a person with that “D” next to their name again.

Do you have a favorite bird?

Of course, I do. Sesame Street’s own Big Bird. Who better?

Do you have a favorite flower?

Go watch the movie, Bambi. Remember the gay little skunk. What was his name? And there you go.

Do you have a short fuse?

Nope. Everyone I’ve ever been with says it’s a good size.

Are you more likely to click on something if it has a picture?

Only if they haven’t been colored all the way yet. I’m kidding. I like pictures and they make things more interesting. So that would be a yes.

And there you go. My thanks for reading and also to Mr. Casper for the great questions. And if you have any questions to ask, comments to give, or thoughts to share, please feel free and do so. My e-mail addy is Doug28352@yahoo.com. Talk to me. And with that, I’m out of here. Until the next time, take care and stay safe. Watch out for the ghosts. I’ll see you at the Trump National Park, right next to the Alice Cooper Interstate Highway.

Ubuntu!