Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Kelly
Songs, Strangers, Food & More
March 16, 2022
DougMaynard.com

A lovely lady named Kelly (@Kelly_ques) likes to ask questions of all shapes and manners. And I like to answer them. And here we go.

What songs are on the soundtrack to your life?

Start off with Alice Cooper, go to Waylon and Jessi Colter, throw in some Jelly Roll, Struggle Jennings, and Yelawolf, and wrap it up with Dr. Hook. I know that didn’t really answer the question, but I think I’ll save this one and do a blog with it instead. Watch for it.

What stranger do you still think about sometimes?

I had an old woman come up to me one time when I was working at the Dairy Mart. She asked me, “Are you a mean person?”. That was twenty-five years ago and I still think of her from time to time. And for the record as to if I’m a mean person, I can be, but generally speaking, no.

What combination of ice cream and toppings do you like best?

Ice cream with bananas and crushed walnuts. Yes, I like banana splits.

Would you rather cook for the holidays or eat out?

I love to cook and the holidays, Thanksgiving and Christmas, are the few times that I’m allowed to just go crazy, go to the extreme, and have fun. So I prefer to cook myself than eat out.

When did you first feel like an adult?

When my brother died. I had to be strong for the family and take on the responsibilities for all the arrangements required. I wasn’t ready for that, but I did it anyhow.

What would brighten your day today?

Well, I’ve already seen my bro and that helped a lot. Now, if a certain dude on FB who’s been ghosting, but not really would message me, I’d really be happy… and he would be too. I’d rock his world!

Who would be the most awkward person to accidentally say “I love you,” to?

I say “I love you” to most everyone that matters to me. I like to make it awkward and make sure they know that I do appreciate them and do love them in my own, black-hearted weird way. But if I ever say it to Danny, even though I kind of do (and that’s the only reason he’s not been shot yet), then that would be bad. Not good at all.

What word do you have a hard time pronouncing?

Appreciate. I prefer to say “apprecigate”. I like my word better.

Do you send thank you cards for presents?

No, I don’t. But I will say thank you in person many times.

What unnecessary products or services do you consider necessary?

I can’t think of anything here. I’m going blank.

What are you most excited about right now?

My stump went into the brace yesterday and I was able to stand for a few minutes. I’m just that much closer to getting my foot, walking, and having a life again.

Finish this sentence: I feel lucky to have _.

My friends, my family, and my cat.

Who knows you best?

My brother, K-Mak. Many people know me, but no one knows it all about me. He’s probably the closest though.

If your pet could talk, what do you think they might say about you?

Damn, you’re a weirdo. Feed me!

Tell me your life story in exactly one sentence.

Sometimes it’s heaven, sometimes it’s hell, and sometimes I don’t even know.

And there you go. My thanks for reading and to Kelly (@Kelly_ques) for the great questions. Any comments, thoughts, or questions you may have, just give me a shout. They are much appreciated. Until the next time, take care and be safe. I’ll see you at the bar.

Ubuntu!