Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Casper & Kelly
Smokes, Beer, The Wizard of Oz & More
March 20, 2022
DougMaynard.com

I found this list of questions outlined on my computer, but I can’t remember for sure where the questions came from. Some came from Casper (@da_ghostly_host) and some came from Kelly (@kelly_que), and the rest, who knows? But I decided to take a crack at them and now, here we go. Thanks to Casper, Kelly, and whoever else on Twitter provided me with some cool questions to answer. Let’s do this.

What is the worst color for a vehicle?

Red. Just ask my bro, Greg. It tends to attract the wrong attention, the boys in blue, and people like to crash into red cars. I’m for real on that. Red is not a good color for a vehicle.

What was the coolest cigarette when you were a kid?

When I was a kid, everyone smoked Marlboro or Marlboro Lights. And for the Menthol folks, it was Salem or Kool. You gotta be cool to smoke a Kool, Cool!.

What’s the coolest beer to own merchandise from?

Budweiser. It isn’t called the King of Beers for nothing.

Who’s your favorite person to get in trouble in cinema and television?

Whenever that deranged Harpie, Bette Midler, sticks her foot in her mouth, I smile. Same with the cackling cows on The View. They suck and not in a good way.

Who’s the best fighter pilot in movie history?

Ted Stryker, from the movie Airplane, as played by Robert Hayes. Good luck! We’re all counting on you!

Why do the people who spent 4 years complaining about Trump, never have anything to say about Biden?

Because they’re brain-dead moronic sheep. Well, either that or speaking about Biden would be admitting they were wrong and made a stupid call, something that no one wants to admit.

What is something or someone that was previously ridiculed, but now is generally more accepted or even seen as cool?

Guys dressing as women and women dressing as men. If that’s what they want to do, go for it. More power to them and all that stuff, but it still strikes me as odd, not cool.

What word do you hate hearing?

“No”, especially when the guy is cute and I’m feeling frisky.

Which character in the Wizard of Oz do you most identify with?

The Tin Man. My heart is all rusty and darkened due to rust and lack of proper care. I feel his pain.

What’s the sexiest animal in the animal kingdom?

Sheep. Go watch Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back and the scene in the van with Seann William Scott. You’ll get it.

What’s the one thing you tell your dog(s) like 6,423 times a day?

Go away! Move! Damn! I love my dog, but he’s kind of a pain in the ass sometimes. I’m definitely more of a cat guy.

If your pet could talk, what do you think they might say about you?

He’s a good human. A little slow sometimes, but he feeds me so we’re cool.

Who is your favorite author?

Anne Rice, Chris Claremont, or Stan Lee.

What surprises you the most about people?

That they can be so dumb sometimes, but still function, drive a car, be a part of society, and procreate.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions you may have are welcome and appreciated. Until the next time, take care and be cool. I’ll see you on the other side.

Ubuntu!