Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day Of Dougie
Family, Pot, Dream Cars & Secrets
March 20, 2022
DougMaynard.com

Good morning. I just fixed eggs and ham for breakfast. They’re not green. Dr. Seuss lied to us. My childhood is shattered. Oh well, he’s still far more trustworthy than Dr. Fauci. It’s a lovely Sunday morning and time to have a Day of Dougie. Why the hell not? What have you got better to do? Let’s do this.

I’ve been watching a lot of reaction videos on YouTube and I’ve noticed something. Every reaction video I’ve seen, regardless of who the reaction-person is, I see Groot. It might just be a picture or a doll, but in every single one, it’s Groot! Well, one couple did have Sonic the Hedgehog in their background, but aside from that, Groot! What the hell is the deal with that? I’ve been thinking about making a few reaction videos if I ever get the technical crap figured out, but I don’t have a Groot. I guess I can’t do it then. No reactions without Groot. Oy vey!

Oh wait, I forgot who I am? I may not have Groot, but I’ve got X-Men action figures, wrestling action figures, a big-ass Care Bear that my bro, Brent, sent me many years ago, and all sorts of other cool stuff, plus I have two cats and a mentally challenged dog. So to all of those who have Groot, all I can say is, “I am Groot!”. You figure it out. I need a tech-guy though to explain to me, like a four-year-old, how all this crap works. Once I get that, reaction videos and Lord knows what else will be coming. And if you’re not down with that, three words for ya! I am Groot!

So let’s get the Magic Bag and find a topic or two. Hell, two of the papers stuck together so we’ve got four topics of discussion. Hell, works for me. I’m in a good mood. We have Family, Pot, Dream Cars, and Secrets. I can do this and I will, starting right now. Are you ready? I said, ARE YOU READY? I really need to get caught up on the tech and do videos. Stealing from DX doesn’t work in the written format, not at all. Let’s do this.

Family

If I call you my brother, sister, cousin, or hell, given how I feel about phones, if I even call you, we’re family. If I can trust you, like being around you, will come out of my shell for you and will open up, I must think highly of you and consider you as family.

Blood doesn’t always mean family. Life and trust and respect, that’s what makes a family and bring people together. I have people who share my name and are relatives, but I don’t really consider true family. And there are those that I’ve met through work, through life, bonded with, and know that they have my back and I’ll always have theirs and that, my friend, is what real family is all about. It’s not blood – it’s bond. And that right there is truth, ‘Nuff said!

Pot

And next, we’ll tackle the wicked weed known as “Mary Jane”, “Grass”, “Kush”, “Marijuana” or “Pot”. It’s the recreational drug of choice for some folks. It’s usually smoked and is enjoyed by young and old, poor and rich, all races, religions, genders, etc. alike. And it’s sometimes called a “gateway drug” because it is said to lead users to other drugs, more dangerous and illegal. I think that’s generally a bunch of rubbish and bull. I think it makes people stupid and kills reaction time and brain cells, but then again, the majority of heavy pot smokers I know aren’t exactly going to be invited to join Mensa anyhow. It’s also very illegal, at least here in North Carolina. That doesn’t stop people from smoking it regularly and not giving a damn who knows about it.

And on that illegal part, I don’t really agree with that. Pot is not something I personally use or condone and I think it stinks to high hell (pun intended), but it’s no worse for a person to smoke a joint or two than smoking cigarettes. Matter of fact, cigarettes are much worse, health-wise, on the body. And it’s no more damaging than beer or alcohol. That’s far worse on the body and mind too in the long run. I’ve never heard of anyone getting run down by a high driver. A drunk driver, yes, and some ass-clown trying to text and drive, yes. But smoking a blunt and driving? The worst thing they’ll do is stop at a stop sign and wait for it to turn green. Did I mention it kills brain cells and makes people stupid? Well, if I hadn’t yet, I just did.

I hate the smell of it too. I think I mentioned it earlier, but I think that’s pretty much my only real objection to people smoking pot. When I was younger, I didn’t mind it and may have actually taken a puff or two from time to time. But now, as I’ve gotten older, that smell just makes my stomach churn and I want to throw up and puke. And we have so many people, where I work, who come into the store just reeking of that nasty smell. If they want to smoke up and get high, that’s their prerogative, but don’t make me or my customers have to smell that raunchy shit. Be discreet. Did I mention that it’s still illegal, at least here in NC?

Smoke it or not, I don’t care. Legalize it or not, I don’t care. Be an idiot or not, I don’t care. But when I have to smell it and deal with morons that can’t put together a coherent thought or have the IQs of a piece of tuna, then I start to care. Smoke all you want and it’s cool, but when I have to put up with stupidity or stinking, rancid odors because of it, then Houston, we have a problem.

Dream Cars

Dream Cars are next and I know that most folks want a Mustang or a Z-28 or a Bentley or something like that as their “Dream Car”. I’m a simple man of simple tastes and what I would like to have if I could, would be a totally new and customized 1972 Volkswagen Convertible. Or an old white panel van that says, “Free Candy” on the side. I’m joking about the van. I would like to have a van though. It’d be cool and one day, when I either win the lottery, find an incredibly rich sugar daddy or sell a screenplay, that 1972 Bug will be mine. And I’ll have a cool-looking van too.

Secrets

And finally, we have secrets. Everyone has secrets. Even I, who talks way too much in these blogs and tells all with every survey I do, has a secret or two. Maybe it’s the bodies that we’ve put out in the swamp or maybe it’s the guy who lives around the corner or maybe it’s my inner desire to one day be a television weatherman, but there are parts of each of us, of things we do or have done, of things we wish to do, etc, that we keep to ourselves and will never share with anyone. Want to know my secrets? Just ask and I may tell you. Or I may not? After all, if I told you, it wouldn’t really be a secret then, would it?

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions you may have are welcome and appreciated. So is the recipe for your Grandma’s homemade cookies. We all know that’s why men and women hide their phones from their partners and keep them locked, to keep the family recipes secret, right? Right? Until the next time, take care and be safe. I’ll see you at the used car lot when I’m looking for my dream bug and smoking a blunt. Take care. I love ya.

Ubuntu!