Wrestlemania 38: Night Two Review

Tossing Salt Presents:
Wrestlemania 38
Night Two – Review
April 4, 2022
DougMaynard.com

Well, we survived. Last night was Night Two of Wrestlemania 38, and I can tell you that after watching Smackdown, The WWE Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony, NXT Stand & Deliver, and Night One on Saturday, and then Night Two last night, I’m about all wrestled out. That’s not including trying to keep up with The ROH Supercard of Honor, all the other various shows taking place in Dallas, Facebook, and Twitter. I love my wrestling, but after RAW tonight, I think I’m taking a break, at least until Wednesday. I’m really getting too old for this stuff.

But as I was saying, last night was Wrestlemania 38, Night Two. And that means it’s time to do a little recapping and review. I’ll try to keep it short and sweet because my eyes are feeling heavy already, and I just woke up an hour ago. Oy vey! This is going to be a long day. Let’s do this.

We started off with a pleasant surprise as Triple H came to the ring. I think he may have beaten the Cody & Austin pops from last night. He did the human water fountain bit and after welcoming us all to Wrestlemania, he left his boots in the ring, Very sad moment indeed, and damn these allergies, already acting up.

Gable Steveson is in the crowd and got to wave at the crowd. And then it’s on to the first match.

It’s a Triple Threat Match – RAW Tag Team Championships with RK-Bro versus TheStreet Profits versus Alpha Academy. A good match, but kind of by the numbers. Riddle took an ass-whooping, and Otis looked like a giant muppet on crack gone crazy as he was whooping some ass too. In the end, the Orton/Riddle team pulled it out and retained their belts. I’ll give this match a 3.5 out of 5. Very solid and everyone looked great, but the match itself wasn’t special. The aftermath though?

RK-Bro was celebrating and The Street Profits came back to do a toast. The four men welcomed Gable Steveson into the ring to share their toast. Here comes Chad Gable and he knocks the drink from Steveson’s hand and tells him to SHOOOSH! Steveson gives Gable a belly-to-belly suplex and tosses him to the floor. Then Orton, Riddle, and the Profits share that drink. A good segment to get Steveson into the spotlight. Chad Gable was perfect here and deserves a gold star next to his name for being the great heel. A cool and fun segment to be sure.

And then we went to Omos versus Bobby Lashley. A far better match than I was expecting. Omos is so damn big, Lashley looked like Marko Stunt by comparison. Lashley did the wrestling and a few spears. Omos did some one-man clubbering, and it worked. Lashley won and I’ll give this one a 2.5 out of 5. It wasn’t a Flair-Steamboat by any means, but it wasn’t a Khali-Anyone either. Both men did their job and did it well.

And then we had the crazy stuff, as we knew it would be as Sami Zayn went against Johnny Knoxville. I won’t try to explain what happened, but I’m sure that Jim Cornette’s head exploded last night. All of the Knoxville Jackass Crew showed up and we saw far more of some than we needed to see. It was insanity at its best or worst and considering who was involved, it actually worked and was fun to see. A 1.5 out of 5 for the wrestling part, but for the craziness and stupidity, go watch it and see for yourself. You’ll be glad you did.

And after that multi-car wreck, it’s time for another with the Fatal 4-Way for the Women’s Tag Team Titles, as Queen Zelina and Carmella defended against Liv Morgan & Rhea Ripley, Natalya & Shayna Baszler, and of course, Sasha Banks & Naomi. This match was far better than I was expecting as well, and in her few spots, Baszler looked awesome. They need to push this woman. It was controlled chaos from bell to bell and we ended up with new champions in Sasha Banks and Naomi. I’ll give it a 2.5 out of 5. Oh yeah, and by the way, congratulations to Carmella and Corey Graves on their upcoming nuptials this Wednesday.

Next up is Edge versus AJ Styles. A solid match and these guys both are wrestling machines and it showed. It seemed a little long to me, but both men gave it 1000% and kept up a great pace. The end came when AJ was going for the Phenomenal Forearm and was distracted by the sudden presence of Damion Priest. It wasn’t much, but it distracted AJ just long enough to get the spear and a pin. I’ll give it a 3 out of 5. Damn good match, but the ending? I heard rumors that Edge was going to have a faction of his own and based on this, I’d say those rumors are true. Edge and Priest shared a laugh and we moved on.

Attendance was announced and it’s 77, 453 people. Damn, that’s a lot of people.

And then it’s on to the tag team match that was supposed to happen last night but was cut due to time constraints. It’s Sheamus and Ridge Holland w/ Pete Dunne, aka Butch taking on The New Day, Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods. It was an okay match for what it was. Watching Butch and his antics was probably the best part as he’s a spitfire. A short match and Sheamus and Ridge Holland won in about four minutes or so. I’ll give it a 2.5 out of 5. WWE squeezed it in and gave everyone their spot, but time was not on their side and it showed.

The next thing was a shout-out to the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2022. The Undertaker came out and waved to the crowd, and they showed their love for the Dead Man.

And then, it’s time. Austin Theory versus Pat McAfee. Vince McMahon came out and did the intro for Theory before taking a seat at ringside. McAfee has the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders with him as he came to the ring. And the match? Damn good. McAfee is far better than he has a right to be, and Theory, he’s a future main-event talent to be sure. They had a good match and both looked good and McAfee gets the win. And then it went all Bizarro-world.

Pat and Vince exchange words and Pat challenges Vince to get into the ring. Vince says okay and takes off his tie and shirt. Damn, Vince is still jakked! Vince and Pat are face to face and here comes a referee. Attack from behind by Theory and he pulls Pat split-eagle into the ringpost. Pat is down and Vince calls for a bell. We’ve got a match. It’s Vince McMahon versus Pat McAfee.

Vince kicks at McAfee and punts a football into Pat’s nuts. Vince is in classic ass-clown form as he mocks Pat and then covers him for the pin. So Vince wins a match at Mania at age 76. Vince and Theory celebrate and guess what happens next? Stone Cold Steve Austin. Austin comes out and lays out Theory with a stunner. Then it’s Vince and Steve, face to face. They share a beer and then Austin gives Vince the absolute worst Stunner in WWE history. Austin did his part, but Vince messed up, and… remember how bad Linda McMahon sold the stunner way back many years ago? Vince was worse. So Austin kicks Vince out of the ring and calls in McAfee. They share a beer and then Pat gets a stunner. Of course, he does. And then Pat rolls from the ring and we get a Steve Austin beer bash. much to the delight of all the fans.

For the original McAfee versus Theory match, I’ll give it a 3 out of 5. For McAfee versus Vince, I’ll be nice and give it a .5 out of 5. And that brings us to the main event.

Universal Champion Roman Reigns w/ Paul Heyman versus WWE Champion Brock Lesnar in a title-unification match. Suplexes and spears pretty much cover it. Both men worked hard and stiff and my back is sore from watching. Heyman got involved a few times and helped to save Roman from a kimura lock on the arm. Brock ate a nutshot and smack in the face with the title belt while the referee was down, but managed to get out at 2 9/10th’s. It was not pretty, but the match was exciting, stiff, and fun to watch. And Roman won at the end after a spear. I’ll give it a 4 out of 5, just because I’m scared if I rate it too low, Brock will come kick my ass.

And that’s the show. It wasn’t as good, to me, as the Saturday night show, but it still was solid from start to finish and delivered. For the entire event, I’ll give it a 3.75 out of 5. The Sami/Knoxville match, the McAfee/Theory/McMahon/Austin stuff is really fun to watch, and the Roman/Brock match delivered. The rest, nothing bad, but nothing really must-see either. But all-in-all, WWE pulled it off and delivered the most stupendous show of the year. If you get the chance, go see it.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Take care and be good, my friends. I’ll see you at the matches.

Ubuntu!

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