Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day of Dougie:
Johnny Horton, Big Brother & Bird Baths
November 16, 2022
DougMaynard.com

Has it been that long? I just realized that the last time I wrote one of my patented “A Day of Dougie” pieces was way back on July 4, 2022, just over four months ago. What the hell? It used to be a daily or at least weekly part of the site and one of my favorite things, just for the randomness of the topics and the spontaneous nature of the pieces.

For those who don’t remember, the whole Day of Dougie theme was that after a little rambling about whatever tickled my fancy, I would draw three topics, written on small pieces of paper, from the infamous Magic Bag. And whatever those topics were, with no advance warning or preparation, I wrote about said topics. Sometimes it was good and other times, it was beyond awful, but it never failed to be fun. It’s an exercise in creative writing and just having fun being random and weird. And I haven’t done this in four months. Again, what the hell?

Well, the wait is over. It’s back. I’m back. This isn’t the Ultimate Wrestling Q&A, although that is an awesome column that should be read and shared by everyone because it tells it like it is, no political correctness, and nothing is off limits. The wrestling thing is my bread & butter column and isn’t going anywhere, but I’m diverse and can go either way. It’s time to take a break and do what I love to do the most, write about random crap. And for an intro to say I’m back, this is long as hell. Forget everything I’ve said already. I’m back, bitches. Now, let’s get the Magic Bag, pick out some topics, and start writing. Welcome back and let’s have a Day of Dougie. Let’s do this.

And the topics for tonight are (reaches into the Magic Bag) Johnny Horton, Big Brother, and Bird Baths. Okay, this one sounds like a winner. Let’s do this and away we go.

Johnny Horton

A country music singer from way before my time, but proof that good music lives forever. Johnny Horton was a singer who did such songs as “Battle of New Orleans” and “Sink The Bismark”. He did other songs too, but those are the two I remember best because they are talking about a moment in U.S. History and a World War II battleship. Who needed a history teacher when you could just slip an 8-track of Johnny Horton’s Greatest Hits into the player and listen to Horton instead?

The other thing that stands out is Horton was married to Billie Jean Jones, the widow of Hank Williams. An interesting thing I remember about Horton and Billie Jean is that Waylon Jennings told a story in his autobiography about them. Horton passed away in a car accident in 1960. Waylon talks about how he met Billie Jean and she tried to seduce him and he allegedly replied something to the nature of, “Lady, you done killed two husbands (Williams, Horton) and I don’t have no intention of being the third.” It was something like that and sounds better the way he said it, but I can’t remember the exact wording. But I do remember Horton and thanks to him, will always know that in 1814, America fought the British in the town of New Orleans. And there you go. Let’s move on.

Here’s a music video of Horton singing Sink The Bismark.

Big Brother

I know it’s a TV show where several people are locked in a house together, recorded twenty-four hours a day, and then voted out and ejected, one per week, until only one remains, or something like that. It’s Survivor with A/C and a nice bed to sleep in. I’ve only watched a handful of episodes if even that, due to my best friend’s MeeMaw watching it and it would be on when we stopped by her house. An interesting show and I can see how people could easily get wrapped up in it and enjoy watching it. If I was ever going to be on a reality television show, this is the kind I’d pick and choose. I’d be voted out the first week for being too strange, but it would be fun to do and try. Okay, I’m lying. I don’t like people that much and living in a house with however many strangers would be a recipe for multiple homicides. I’m not a people person. But still, a cool show.

Bird Baths

And finally, bird baths. It’s usually plastic or concrete and set up in the yard, a place for birds to congregate and play in the water that has accumulated, thus enabling them to take a bath, hence the name bird baths. It’s a mini swimming pool for birds, squirrels, and whatever other critter just happens to show up looking to cool off and/or get a drink. They’re fun to watch for the activity of local fowl, especially if you’re a neighborhood cat looking for an easy meal. They’re pretty cool and I can’t think of anything else to say about them so that’s all for this particular topic. So let’s wrap this up.

And there you go. Wasn’t that fun? Don’t answer that. Just smile and nod. Thanks for reading and indulging a fat old man-pirate. It is much appreciated. And this won’t be the last one. Look for Days of Dougie to pop up regularly from here on in. After all, every day is a good day when it’s a Day of Dougie. Yes, the more you know. And with that, it’s time to call it a night. Any questions, comments, or thoughts are welcome and appreciated. Dad jokes, favorite songs, and adult pictures are all welcome and appreciated as well. Until the next time, take care and be good, my friends. I’ll see you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!