Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Casper:
Random Twitter Q&A
March 1, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of Questions by Casper. Unfortunately, these questions are not from Casper. The man I used to get all those great questions from back in the day, Tyler Casper, left Twitter and thus, this column, in its original run, came to an end. But a friend of mine who used to enjoy those random Q&As mentioned it to me last night and after some thinking, it’s back. I may not have Mr. Casper to get random questions from anymore, but my timeline on Twitter is full of many great people asking random questions. So I went and copied and pasted the first fifteen questions that I came across and well, here you go. So we’re back in business, my friends. And now, let’s go.

What TV character was so perfectly played by their actor, that nobody could replace them for that role?

The first name that came to mind was Caroll O’Conner as Archie Bunker on All In The Family. That was a long time ago, but that show was groundbreaking in so many ways and no one else could have played Archie as O’Conner did. And while we’re at it, let’s give Sherman Hemsley a nod as George Jefferson. Just like his TV rival, Hemsley was George Jefferson. He became that character and I can’t think of anyone who could do it any better.

If you tasted like the last thing you ate, what would you taste like?

I would taste like Teriyaki Beef Jerky. Not sure if that’s a good thing or not, but I like it so no complaints.

Who is the greatest Mac of all time?

I can’t think of any people named Mac. Oh yeah, I’ve got it. Mac Davis, the singer who made the song, “It’s Hard To Be Humble” was famous back in the late 70s. I can’t think of any other songs he did, but I do remember that one. He was pretty cool.

How many pickles are too many on your burger?

Pickles are disgusting. I want no pickles at all on my burger, near my burger, or in the same building as my burger. Or in my moonshine either. They are nasty!

What is your favorite season?

Duck season. Rabbit season. Duck season. Rabbit season. Duck Season. Rabbit Season. Rabbit Season. Duck Season. BANG! Sorry, I was having a Bugs Bunny/Daffy Duck flashback. My bad!

What is a beautiful song for a man to sing to a woman?

How about “Sneaking Around” by Burt Reynolds & Dolly Parton, from the movie, The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. It always makes me feel warm and fuzzy in the tum-tum.

What is your favorite thing to do locally?

Go to St. Andrews and look at all the young student-athletes and wonder who my future life-mistake will end up being. People-watching at the Walmart parking lot is kind of fun too.

What’s a food you hated as a kid, but love now as an adult?

Beer. That’s food, right? And I guess popcorn shrimp. I never much cared for it as a kid, but I’ll munch it down now at every opportunity. Or as a coworker of mine would say, “I’ll fuck that shit up!”.

If you were a superhero, what would be your kryptonite?

A nice butt, a pretty smile, and green eyes. Oh wait, that’s my kryptonite now. If I was a superhero, it’d more than likely be the same thing though. I’m a simple man.

Who is the greatest Witch of all time?

Since I’m a fan of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, I’ll go with Willow. No, change that. Willow was kind of a dumb-ass at times. Let’s go with Evillene from the movie, The Wiz. Played by Mabel King, best known as Mama from the show What’s Happening, Evillene was awesome and really knew how to literally run a sweatshop. And don’t anybody be bringing her no bad news or they’ll be sorry.

What is your preferred communication method and style?

Uugh! Why have I got to communicate? I guess texting is my favorite. I like a few people, but for the majority of humanity, the least actual contact, the better.

Would you ever consider being a foster parent?

I would and any kid would be lucky to have me. I rock!

Give a poor excuse for being late to work.

I despise being late for anything so if I had to be late and come up with an excuse, it’d probably be a good one. But you want a poor/bad one, right? How about just saying my cat has fallen asleep on my lap and I can’t get up until he moves? I’ll come in to work then. That’s a valid excuse, right?

Statics show by the age of 28 every person should own what?

A cat? Hell, I don’t know, but my cat just walked across my computer keyboard and seems to think so, so we’ll go with that.

What is the greatest moment of your life?

July 3, 1966, at approximately 10:48 pm. I was born. And it’s been a wild ass ride ever since.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts and any questions about anything at all you’d like to ask are welcome and appreciated. This was fun so there will be more editions of Casperless Questions By Casper coming in the days and weeks to come. You’ve been warned. And with that being said, it’s time to close up for a bit. I’m heading back to bed. The sun is starting to rise and I don’t do sunlight if it can be avoided. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you next time.

Ubuntu!