Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper
Random Twitter Q&A
March 2, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Who doesn’t love to answer random questions from strangers? I know I do. This brings back so many memories of the old MySpace survey days. I used to have a guy, Casper, who asked plenty of questions every day on Twitter. I don’t have him anymore, but luckily for me, others have stepped up to fill the void. It’s Questions (Not) By Casper and it all starts now.

For raw musical talent, Paul McCartney or Paul Simon?

Paul Simon is a talented guy and I’d never call him Al, but Paul McCartney is a freakin’ Beatle. He sings, he plays bass, he plays drums, and he has a thing for chicks with one leg. I probably should have stopped at “he’s a Beatle”. McCartney wins here.

Who is the greatest Clark of all time?

Is it Clark Kent, aka Superman? Is it Clark Griswold from the Vacation movies? Is it Lewis’s buddy who helped explore the Louisiana Purchase?
Is it the American Bandstand dude with who we brought in all of our New Year’s, Dick Clark? Is it the guy who told Scarlett that frankly, he doesn’t give a damn, Clark Gable? Nah, I’m feeling a little Hee Hawish right now so let’s go with the man who was pickin’ and grinning, Roy Clark.

Would you rather have super-sensitive taste buds or super-sensitive hearing?

I can see where both could be useful and where both could be a major pain in the ass. Let’s go with the super-sensitive hearing. I’m nosy and want to hear what people are talking about.

Who is missing from the Hall of Fame that should be there?

Which Hall of Fame are you talking about? If it’s the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, they need to get Dr. Hook in there, ASAP. And if it’s the WWE Hall of Fame, let’s go with Ivan Koloff, The Midnight Express, The Anderson Brothers (Ole & Gene), and Penny Banner.

What was the last song you sang to yourself?

From the Rent soundtrack, “Take Me Or Leave Me”. I can totally rock that song.

Which book have you read that had a significant impact on you?

A book called “Imponderables” that my awesome friend, Theresa, gave me many years ago. Have you ever wondered why things are as they are? This book had all the answers and explained it all. For all those things that had you going, “Hmm!”, it had plenty of answers and reasons why.

Who is your favorite R&B band of the 70s?

The Jimmy Castor Bunch, the musical genius behind this song right here.

What is the greatest mistake of all time?

When Eve took that bite from that apple and then told Adam, “Here! Eat this!” That was a really bad decision. Also when I was sleeping with the neighbor guy. That was a dumb move on my part as well. But in all fairness, he was cute. Just a total asshole though.

Can exes truly be friends?

Yes, they can. I am still on good terms and friendly with 96% of the people I was once involved with. If I get involved with someone, there is usually a reason, and just because we’re not compatible as a couple doesn’t mean they’re not a good person, and I don’t like or respect them. It only means we’re not compatible as a couple, but we can still be friends, hanging out buddies, etc. It takes an awful lot for me to let someone inside the walls and get close, so it takes a lot to cut someone out once they’ve gotten through as well. Not wanting to date is usually not sufficient or enough.

How is your day going?

It’s actually been a good day. I’m not hurting much and have gotten a lot of things accomplished. I work tomorrow so things may change, but so far, so good.

What is the best pet’s name you have ever heard?

We used to have a neighborhood dog, a beautiful black lab, named Cat. I always thought that was pretty cool.

Who is the greatest Stand-Up Comedian of all time?

For me personally, my Mt. Rushmore of funny people would be Joan Rivers, Don Rickles, Bill Cosby, and George Carlin. Others may come and go, but these guys will always be at the very top of the list.

Frozen isn’t available so what is the greatest Disney movie of all time?

I like Bambi, but it always makes my allergies act up. Wait, I just realized something. Disney owns Fox now and so the Fox movies would count as Disney movies, right? So my favorite Disney Movie is The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Yes, Frank N’ Furter is a Disney Princess. Yay!

Silent Lucidity or November Rain?

Both songs are awesome, but nothing holds a candle to the cold November rain.

Who is the most annoying cartoon character of all time?

I’ve never liked Tweety Bird. He’s a little tattle-tale and just generally annoying. And Road Runner sucks too! Picking on that poor coyote. I would love to see Sylvester & Wile. E. Coyote sit down and have a nice dinner of a Tweety Bird and a Road Runner, all shaken and baked for an excellent dining experience.

Who is the best South Park Character?

Let’s go with Big Gay Al. For some reason, I can relate to him. I wonder why? He’s super!

What ingredient completely ruins a sandwich for you?

Pickles! They’re just damn nasty in my opinion. I do not want them in a box, with a fox, or anywhere near anything I may be wanting to eat. Pickle Rick is okay, but any other of those nasty little green embodiments of sour evil, just say no!

Who do you think is the best horror film villain of all time?

Let’s go with the King of the Vampires, the original badass, Count Dracula. He doesn’t drink wine, but he’s still a man of the night.

What did you have for breakfast this morning?

Scrambled eggs and fried spam. And it was good!

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and very appreciated. Talk to me, my Peeps. And with that being said, it’s time to close this baby up. Take care and be well, my friends. Be safe and I’ll catch you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!