Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #10
Random Twitter Q&A
March 12, 2023
DougMaynard.com

In a world full of questions, it’s always fun to reply with an answer or two. I used to do a regular piece called “Questions By Casper”, but alas, Casper has gone MIA. But others have stepped up to fill the void. Just random questions from my Twitter friends. Are you ready? Let’s go.

Which genre of music do you loathe?

Curt Hennig and the West Texas Rednecks can answer that question for me. And it goes like this right here.

What’s a great song featuring a scream?

I can’t think of anything right off the top of my head. I know that when Mariah Carey makes her annual Christmas appearance and starts to screech that Christmas song, it makes me want to scream. And Lizzo or whatever its name is scares me enough to cry out in fear, but that’s not a screaming song either. Let’s go with All My Rowdy Friends (Are Coming Over Tonight) by Hank Jr. You know there was a lot of drinking and screaming and getting rowdy when Hank Jr. and his friends did that video shoot. Yeah, this one here.

You just woke up and realized you’re still 13 years old and you’ve just been dreaming about what adult life might be like. What’s your first reaction?

Mumble to myself, “Well, that sucks!” and then go pee before trying to figure out what time it is and if I’m late for school or not. And then, I go back to bed. Fifteen more minutes.

Who played your favorite Joker?

I’ve always got to go with Jack Nicholson from the first Batman movie. He was the perfect Joker and set the bar for all the others that followed.

What’s a song that instantly takes you back to your teenage years?

Van Halen and “Jump”. The live band played that song at least four times during my Junior Year Prom and it may have been the only song they knew. Who knows. But it always takes me back to that date, that dance, and that Tux I was wearing. Damn, I was a sexy beast. Still am.

What’s an obvious scam that people keep falling for?

When the Democratic politicians say that they’re looking out for the American people and want to help everyone have a better world and better life. We all know they’re full of crap and lying, but people vote for them anyhow. Why?

Which do you prefer: Spring forward or Fall back?

Fall back. We get an extra hour of nap time when that happens and I need every second of peace and sleep I can get.

Name 4 Athletes that defined your childhood.

Bruce Jenner, Muhammad Ali, the swimmer dude, Mark Spitz, and Michael Jordan.

Do you eat Mac & Cheese with a spoon or fork?

I use a fork so I can spear any noodles that try to get away. I want every piece of the mac & cheese. That stuff is (usually) good!

What was one of your favorite nursery rhymes as a child?

Anything by the great children’s storyteller, Andrew Dice Clay. “Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her curds & whey. Along came a spider, who sat down beside her, and said, What’s in the bowl, bitch!”. Or “Little Boy Blue. He needed the money!”. Great rhymes by a great role model for every child and little person.

Which game show have you always wanted to be on?

I always wanted to be on Match Game or Hollywood Squares. I also think I would probably do well on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. I have all this useless and random knowledge in my head floating around. It’d be nice to put it to use and win some money.

If Elon Musk Showed Up At Your Door offering you $10,000 to never use Instagram again, would you take it?

Easily. I have an Instagram account, but I think I maybe check it twice a year at the most. I did it, didn’t like it, and never bothered going back for any significant length of time. It would be easy to just give it up altogether and to get paid for it too. Even better.

What is one sporting event you wish were there to see live?

Wrestlemania! ‘Nuff said!

Who is your favorite cartoon cat?

No fake, animated cat is anywhere near as awesome as my real-life fur babies, Mouthie and Storm, but if I have to pick a fictitious cat that might come close, let’s go with Garfield. We both like lasagna so there’s a slight bonding here.

Would you rather have front-row tickets to a musician you’ve never heard of or listen to your favorite band perform from the parking lot?

Probably my favorite band in the parking lot. Any chance to see Alice Cooper, or Waylon, or Sublime, or Sinatra for that matter, is not an opportunity to be wasted.

And there you go with another edition of Questions (Not) By Casper in the books. It’s been fun. Thank you for reading and to all my Twitter peeps for keeping these random questions coming. I love you guys. And with that, it’s time to say goodbye. Have a great one and stay well, my friends. I’ll see you at the next one. Be excellent to each other.

Ubuntu!