Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #23
Random Twitter Q&A
March 26, 2023
DougMaynard.com

In a world full of questions, it’s always fun to reply with an answer or two. I used to do a regular piece called “Questions By Casper”, but alas, Casper has gone MIA. But others have stepped up to fill the void. Just random questions from my Twitter friends. Are you ready? Let’s go.

What food does no one else in your family eat except you?

All the good stuff like egg rolls, taquitos, chicken nuggets, etc. Anything that you can put in the oven at 400 degrees and cook for twelve minutes and get a meal, I’m there. Everyone else seems to prefer real, stovetop-cooked food. Well, either that or Taco Bell, but I’m all about the quick and easy.

If you could only listen to ONE band for the rest of your life, which one would you choose?

Alice Cooper.

How often do you exfoliate?

Well, I’m not seeing anyone right now so it’s been a while. Oops! My bad. The wrong definition of a term is being used there. Exfoliate? That means washing and lathering up to remove dirt, dead skin, cat hairs, and whatever else. At least once a day and sometimes twice. I love my showers.

What instantly ruins a taco?

Sour cream. While I don’t mind it sometimes, it just doesn’t belong on a taco in my opinion. It just reminds me too much of other things.

If the nukes start falling, what song are you turning on one last time?

Given my slightly warped perspective on things, I’d probably go with this classic by REM. It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine. Here’s the video.

What is your biggest complaint about your workplace?

That I’m not there nearly enough. I like my coworkers and my job, but due to certain restrictions, I can only work a couple of days a week and that sucks. And also, the customers. If it wasn’t for the customers, I would have the perfect job.

What’s an album every music fan should own?

The soundtrack to the movie, The Lost Boys. A great 80s movie and arguably one of the best soundtracks ever. The shirtless guy on the sax should be a must-see in everyone’s life, plus it’s just some damn good music.

What is one thing every person should own?

These days, a pistol or rifle. Bad times are coming and we all need to be prepared. Also, a cat. Everyone should have a cat or three. Life is so much better with a cat in the house. Ask them. They’ll tell you.

What the hell does China do for us that we can’t do for ourselves?

Speak Chinese and give us restaurants with great buffet tables. Yeah, I have nothing.

What’s something you heard on the internet and have no way of confirming but you believe wholeheartedly?

Again, I have nothing. If I hear something outrageous or crazy, I like to do research and seek confirmation or some kind of proof. I don’t believe anything. I’m not a Democrat or a woken, liberal, snowflake after all. I want proof.

What’s something you never look forward to doing but you know have to?

Waking up. That bed is so comfy and welcoming, but then I wake up and have to pee or have things to do and I get up anyway. But I don’t like it! I want to sleep.

A store where every item is free or a restaurant where every dish is calorie-free?

I’m not worried about calories. I may have a belly, but I know I’m a sexy beast anyhow and a little meat on the bones is a good thing. A free store though? That has possibilities and could be fun to visit.

Raise your hand if you do not believe a thing the media is telling you about Ukraine.

Note what I said earlier. We hear all these “horror stories” about Ukraine, but there is no video, no battle survivors, no media stories live from the front lines, etc. All we get are speeches from our politicians and regular visits from the Ukraine President asking for more money. We are being lied to and bamboozled, period.

Do your pets sleep in bed?

Of course, they do. They’re part of the family and I’m not going to treat them like common animals. That would be just wrong.

Is it possible for a woman to b a rapist?

Can a woman assault a man and force him to do things he’s not wanting to do and dominate and abuse him? Yes, they can, and all jokes about “raping the willing” aside, rape is a crime, a tragedy, and messed up regardless of who is the attacker and who is the victim, regardless of what gender, either man or woman because those are the only genders, that they may be.

And there you go. Another edition of the Casper Q&A in the books. I was planning on doing an edition of the Ultimate Wrestling Q&A today as well, but I’m running out of questions. So if you have any questions about wrestling or anything at all, send them to me. It would be much appreciated. And with that, it’s time to wrap this up. Thanks for reading. Be good and stay safe. And I’ll see you in the funny papers.

Ubuntu!