Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #26
Random Twitter Q&A
March 30, 2023
DougMaynard.com

In a world full of questions, it’s always fun to reply with an answer or two. I used to do a regular piece called “Questions By Casper”, but alas, Casper has gone MIA. But others have stepped up to fill the void. Just random questions from my Twitter friends. Are you ready? Let’s go.

WITHOUT GOOGLING, Name a famous Opera.

That place in Nashville where all the country music singers hang out, the place that fired Hank Williams and Johnny Cash, the Grand Old Opera? Nah, just kidding. The only Opera I can think of is the Barber of Seville and that’s only because of this right here.

What is something you’re grateful for today?

I was able to spend some time with my BFF/bro-son and the swelling in my leg has gone down and I was able to walk fairly painlessly for most of the day.

Which canceled TV show deserved another season?

WCW Monday Nitro. Damn you, Vince McMahon!

Dire Straits or The Police?

While Money for Nothing is a pretty awesome thing, I have to go with the guys’ who told Roxeanne that she doesn’t have to put on that red light anymore. I’m not a hater and I support The Police.

What can instantly ruin a good time?

When his wife or girlfriend comes home.

How do you forget a really bad experience? What are your tips?

I just proceed with life as usual and place any bad times in the back of my mind where they belong, dealing with them via absolute denial and occasional bouts of day drinking. Indiscriminate sex with cute guys works too. Hell, they don’t even have to be cute to be a proper distraction from reality. Just be there and be ready to get busy.

What is your favorite thing about the current Biden/Harris administration?

That they’re never boring and that they continue to amaze me in that when I think they can’t get any worse or stupider, here they come and say, hold my beer, and proceed to do so.

Would you rather collect souvenirs or postcards?

Souvenirs go on a shelf, take up space, and collect dust. Postcards can be put in a scrapbook or photo album and bring back great memories. I’ll take the postcards.

What is your perfect weekend?

Friends, sleep, maybe a bottle or two, and no worries. Throw in a wrestling show or PPV to enjoy on top of the rest of that and it’s almost perfect.

Rice or mashed potatoes?

Rice is okay, but it’s a bitch to fix and get just right. I’ll take the mashed potatoes, please.

What instantly ruins a Blind Date for you?

When they show up and we don’t connect at all. Hell, just when they show up. I want to go home.

Who is the greatest Magician of all time?

Some would say Houdini and some would say Criss Angel, but the truly greatest of all has to be this cat from Sesame Street. He may not always get it right, but he was a big part of my early childhood, the Amazing Mumford. Hey, at least I didn’t say Harry Potter.

What is your best weight loss tip?

Dont eat. It works wonders and the pounds will just melt away.

Who do you prefer in Dynasty? Aaron Jones or JK Dobbins?

The only Dynasty I remember had Blake Carrington, Linda Evans, and Joan Collins as Alexis. Who these two clowns that you’re mentioning are, I have no idea, nor do I care.

What is your preferred brand of beer and how do you like it best?
Tap, bottle, or can?

If I’m drinking a cold one, I’m but a simple man and like either Bud Light or Natural Light. And while the bottle is great if it’s ice cold, my usual preference is in the can. That way, after chugging down the brewski, I can crush the can and feel like a man.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions about anything at all are welcome and appreciated. And with that, it’s time to wrap this up and call it a night. Take care and stay well, my friends. I’ll see you in the Forbidden Forest.

Ubuntu!