Questions (Not) By Casper #49: Random Twitter Q&A

Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #49
Random Twitter Q&A
April 19, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

Are you a fan of watermelon 🍉 ?

I like it sometimes, but not often. It’s too messy and watermelon juice gets all over the place and swallowing those seeds? Oy vey! I just need to be in the mood.

What is something you like gifting to people?

The gift that keeps on giving and never stops, myself, especially if you’re a cute guy. Here I am. Dig in, baby! As for everyone else, there’s not a set item in mind for giving to people. It all depends on the person and I’ll try to match the gift to what I know the person will need or appreciate. Or I’ll just go with food. Everyone likes food, right?

Do you hold the door for people?

Absolutely. My Mom brought me up to have manners.

Name a TV show you loved that this generation probably never heard of.

One of my favorites as a kid was The New Zoo Revue. I still like watching clips on YouTube. There is nothing like watching grown people dressed up like frogs, pigs, and owls.

Have you ever owned a Zippo lighter? How much is too much to spend on a lighter?

I’ve owned a couple, but there were gifts. I’m not spending a ton of money on a lighter when the crack lighters from the gas station work just as well. It’s about being practical and not trying to show off how expensive something may be. Forget the price. I don’t care. Just do the damn job required.

What is the phrase or expression you use most frequently?

Aside from the cuss words I’m constantly muttering under my breath and the threats to my dog to “punch him inthe face”, I think my most popular expression would be “dumb-ass”.

Pizza or pasta – what do you prefer?

Both are good, but I have to be in the right mood for either. I guess we’ll go with pizza.

If you could have any historical figure as your mentor, who would you choose?

Edgar Allen Poe. A great writer who was also a drug addict and alcoholic who died in an insane asylum after totally losing it and flipping out. If that’s not inspirational and a great role model, I don’t know who is.

Have you ever had Sleep Paralysis?

Awake, but unable to move, frozen by fear and anxiety, trapped in a hell of unending torture. That sounds familiar.

What’s the worst thing to ever happen on your plane ride?

The music stopped and they told me to get off the ride. Those bastards!

Dirt or gravel roads?

I like dirt roads. I’ve had many good adventures and experiences on many dirt roads. Those places are made to make memories. Jason Aldean even did a song about them. Want to hear it? Here we go.

What’s the sexiest outfit an athlete wears?

Why would an athlete care if their outfit is sexy or not? I would think that being practical and comfortable as they compete in their sport would be more important. I guess I’ll go with the tight shorts and the sleeveless T-shirt that has the neck cut out. Those guys at St. Andrews make that look work. Woof!

Who is the greatest cartoon villain of all time?

Let’s make it plural and the greatest cartoon villains because I’m thinking of a team. The greatest bad guys? Boris & Natasha from the Rocky & Bullwinkle show.

What’s wrong with people?

Do you have all day because this could take a while? No, let’s just say that the entitled little woken weasels have no respect for others or themselves and don’t care. That’s what’s wrong with people. They don’t care. They’ve had no upbringing and it shows.

You’re starting a brand new NFL franchise. You have every person who has EVER coached in the NFL available to you. Whom do you pick first and WHY?

I’d pick Tom Landry as my coach. Why? Because it’s Tom Landry. What more reason do you need?

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, I’m out of here. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you in the funny papers.

Ubuntu!

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