Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #48
Random Twitter Q&A
April 19, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

What are the topics you are the most knowledgeable about?

Customer service & sales, Comic Books, and professional wrestling.

Which tiny insect are you afraid of?

Spider Crickets. I hate those damn things. They are EVIL! Indeed!

Finish this sentence:
I think we all can __.

Agree that people suck!

Without googling do you know who killed a man with a stick of celery?
Did you know a man could be killed with a stick of celery?

I don’t know who did it and I didn’t know that a stick of celery could be a murder weapon unless an allergy or choking is involved. I learn something new every day. Now let me channel my inner-woken liberal self and make a proclamation. Celery is an assault weapon and needs to be banned! And there you go.

Would you rather be able to take back anything you say or hear any conversation that is about you?

If I could hear all those conversations, I wouldn’t have any friends left. Let’s go with taking back the stuff that I say. I tend to be blunt and speak without thinking and usually, I could care less what people think or how they react, but there may have been one or two times that I wish I could take back or reword my comment. That would be a valuable tool to have.

What do you hope people would stop asking you?

Did we go to school together? or Did we work together? People know my face, but can’t figure out where from and they ask me those questions almost every time I go to work or out in public.

What’s a movie you would like to see recreated with Muppets?

Either American History X or The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Admit it. You’d watch.

What’s one thing you will never do again in your life?

Dance a two-step or run a marathon.

The worst fast food chain in America?

There are so many options to choose from, but the most consistent in just plain being nasty and bad would be either Mcdonalds’ or the Waffle House. They both suck!

How long would you wait if your date was late?

It would depend on who the date is and how much I’m looking forward to this meeting. I’d probably do about ten-fifteen minutes and if I haven’t heard anything by then, to hell with them.

Do you think it’s appropriate for pharmacies to sell abortion pills?

Abortion is, in my opinion, murder, period. There are some options where I can reluctantly justify an abortion being needed, such as for rape, incest, or to save the life of a parent, but to me, life begins at conception and if a person is too ignorant to use birth control or keep their legs shut, that doesn’t mean that it’s okay to kill an innocent child. So abortion pills? That would be a no in my book.

Who is the greatest Judge of all time?

Harry Stone from the old television series, Night Court. By the way, here is classic comedian Pigmeat Markham. You’re welcome.

What is the most unexpected thing you’ve seen live on tv?

Legs snapping (Sid Vicious), Nip Slips (Janet Jackson), and a big slap from one B-list actor for another. Live television. There’s nothing like it, folks.

Do you let your animals sleep in the bed?

Of course, I do. They need to sleep somewhere and they’re better behaved than most people I know. Mouthie is a bed hog though.

Would you rather shovel snow out the driveway in 5-degree weather or mow the lawn in 115-degree weather?

I’m not doing either. I’m old and I don’t do outside. Damn, that!

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s wrap this up. I’ve procrastinated long enough. Walmart, here I come. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you in the funny papers.

Ubuntu!