Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #52
Random Twitter Q&A
April 22, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

What is the dumbest thing that you’ve ever fought over?

This one is a lot tougher than I expected because I tend to avoid fights if necessary unless it’s for a really good reason… or I’m bored. I remember my brother and me fighting over a TV show. Lassie or Big Valley, I think. I was 6 and wanted to watch the Cowboys. He was 8 and was a dog lover. So we settled it as all brothers did. We fought it out. True story.

When it comes to supporting someone, which is the best approach? Supporting them in the way they want to be supported even if you disagree with it, or supporting them in the way you feel is best even though they may not see it that way?

I do what I feel is best and if they don’t like it or agree, all they need to do is say so and I’ll just back away and stop. It’s just that simple.

If your friend has bad breath, do you tell them?

Do I have to talk to them and smell it? I’d probably just offer them a mint or a piece of gum and just say out of their breathing range as much as possible.

Would you rather only eat raw food or only eat TV dinners?

I like TV dinners. They’re quick, easy, and convenient. Just give me my Hungry Man dinners already. I’m good.

I don’t understand people who _.

Feel compelled to scream and holler all the time and act like babbling baboons in public. No one wants to hear your mouth so shut the hell up already. Use the indoor voice or better yet, don’t say anything at all. Thank you!

Do you or have you ever sung in the bathroom?

I do almost every day. We have some great acoustics in there.

How do you express your anger?

I write I sleep, I avoid people, and I become a sarcastic ass-clown. Truthfully, I do all of that daily anyhow, but anger makes for a great excuse to justify it. It’s better than admitting I’m an asshole.

What food tastes better on the second day?

Chili, spaghetti, and homemade soup. It needs an extra day to let the flavor sink in and settle.

You’re given the option to drop everything right now and go back to 4/22/2013 as yourself at that age, but with the extra 10 years of experience. Do you take it?

Oh hell yes, I would. A chance to re-do my medical issues, my relationship with Chris, my jobs at Nic’s, the Sweepstakes, and the ABC Store, but knowing what to expect and everything I do now, I’d be a fool to say no.

Can you sleep with your window open?

My window has been open for the past twelve days so that would be a yes.

Have you ever been rear-ended?

Plenty of times. And yes, in a car too.

What sport do you like to watch but don’t quite understand the rules of?

I like watching football, but the rules aren’t very important to me. I just like the tight ends and wide receivers. TOUCHDOWN!

Have you ever had an ice bath?

No, and I hope I never do. I would have been cool with the idea a few years ago, but now, I have enough problems with cold and shrinkage as it is. Submerged in ice? That would not be fun.

What should everyone experience at least once?

If you’re a guy and go to St. Andrews University, you should hook up with me at least once and let this old man rock your world. Satisfaction guaranteed. But that’s just for the guys at St. Andrews. For everyone in the world in general, I’d say that six months (at least) of working in retail and customer service. People would be much nicer and the “Karens” and “Chads” would be much harder to find. That’s for damn sure.

What is the biggest secret in Washington DC?

It’s Epstein’s Client List. Everything else leaks, but all the pedos from Washington or Hollywood, we’re never going to be able to see that list of names. I wonder why?

And there you go, with another edition of Questions (Not) By Casper in the books. And with that, it’s time to call it a night. Take care and be well, my friends. Any comments, thoughts, questions, or phone numbers and messages from the guys at St. Andrews, are welcome and appreciated. Y’all think I’m joking. Well, call my bluff and find out. You won’t regret it. And that’s all for today. I’ll see you in the funny papers.

Ubuntu!