Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #56
Random Twitter Q&A
April 26, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

Could you ever give up your pet?

Could I? Yes, but it would break my heart and make me into a very sad and miserable soul. My fur babies, all three of them, get on my damn nerves sometimes and frustrate me to no end, but I love them anyway and appreciate everything that they bring and add to my life.

What is that one thing you wish you had more time for?

Chilling with my friends, those that I have left, and writing. I have time to do stuff, but bad time management skills so I often can’t get everything done that I’d like to be doing. Also, too many distractions are a problem as well.

Do you ease into sleep or pass out?

I ease into my sleep. I have to rethink every moment of my life, both real and imagined before I drift off into my night of tossing, turning, and epic adventures in the land of dreams.

If you could ask The Rock one question, what would the question be?

It would be, “Hey Dwayne, since you own a movie production company and are one of the biggest stars in Hollywood, I have an idea for a movie. Can we talk?”

Who is YOUR favorite DRUMMER of ALL TIME?

The only proper answer for this has to be Ringo Starr. It didn’t say the best, but instead, it asks for a favorite and if you don’t like Ringo, you have no soul. I have a soul, as black and twisted as it may be sometimes, and Ringo is… well, he’s Ringo. ‘Nuff said! I was going to say my nigga, Eric, but that talented little studly won’t return messages on FB and likes to go MIA for long periods of time. He’s definitely a damn good drummer though and knows all the beats. Hey Erock, let’s go get ripped. Call me.

How many times have you seen The Green Mile?

Umm, let me think about this. Zero! I have seen that movie zero times.

What fitness craze or popular TV show do you not understand?

For a fitness craze, it would probably be Sweating To The Oldies. Yes, I’m dating myself and it’s outdated and old and to tell the truth, I remember and understand it well. I just don’t want Richard Simmons in my living room scaring the children. As for a TV show that makes no sense to me as to how it’s popular, let’s go with any of the talking head, fake-media shows on Fox, CNN, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, NBC, or any of the other networks I may have missed. They’re lying to us and we know they’re lying to us and yet everyone still watches, obsessed with that garbage. Why?

What movie do you always recommend to people?

Any of the Kevin Smith-written and directed movies featuring Jay & Silent Bob, including Clerks, Clerks 2, Clerks 3, Mallrats, Dogma, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, Jay & Silent Bob Reboot, or Chasing Amy. If Kevin’s name is associated with a movie, most likely it will be good… unless it’s Jersey Girl or Yoga Hosers. An A for effort, but that two kinds of sucked.

Have you ever adopted a pet from a shelter?

Not personally as all of my pets have either been gifts from friends, strays that have found their way to my home, or belonged to a family member and needed a place to live after their passing. I was a roomie with a psycho-chick one time who adopted a huge black cat from the Animal Shelter. His name was Franklin and I pretty much had to look after him once she brought him home. She was too busy being a strung-out looney-toon to take care of herself well, much less any animals that may have been depending on her. But luckily for Franklin, he accidentally “got out” one day and vanished forever. I think he might have ended up moving in with a family over in McColl, SC who were good people and could look after and love a cat, something he was not getting from his then-owner, especially after I left that crazy house of ill repute and she was obligated to tend to her pets. At least I think that’s where he ended up, but I can’t say for sure. wink

Did you go to daycare at all as a kid?

I went to a playschool at age 4, kindergarten at age 5, and then school from age 6 and on. After five kids, Mom needed a break every day even if only for a couple of hours.

What is the greatest beverage of all time?

Water because without water, you couldn’t make soft drinks, coffee, tea, or beer. And if you want more specific, let’s just say Mt. Dew Zero and Jack Daniels. Yes, they are stupid and have gone woken, but Jack has always been good to me.

If you could meet any historical figure for a cup of coffee, who would you choose?

I don’t drink coffee so I’d probably be sipping on a Dew Zero instead, but meeting someone of an historical nature and chillaxing for a few minutes would be kind of wild and cool. Let’s go with one of the greatest actors of all time, James Dean. And as for why, it’s James Dean. What more reason does a person need?

Would you ever buy a My Pillow? Is that why Bed Bath and Beyond is going out of business?

I wouldn’t buy one because I’m a cheap-ass and can’t see spending that much money on a pillow when I already have seven other very nice pillows on my bed. I have heard many good things about the My Pillows and their sheets and they’re supposedly incredibly awesome and comfortable, but I just don’t want to spend my money. However, I do have a birthday coming up in July and those would make for some awesome presents. Just saying. As for why BB&B went bankrupt, I think it was a combination of bad management, our awful economy, and making the base audience mad with woken policies and political activism. Businesses should stay out of politics because no matter what positions they take, they automatically alienate half of their customer base, and well, shit happens as BB&B found out.

What’s something public that you wish wasn’t public?

People smoking grass. Smoke it at home in private and quit stinking up public places and making me have to smell that nasty shit! It is still illegal and yet people are so open and obvious about being little dopeheads. I don’t care that you do it, but go home first or just quit already and quit stinking up my life.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, or any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s close down shop for a little bit. Stay well, my friends. I’ll see you later, Gators.

Ubuntu!